Um… There Are These Kids We Call ‘Students’?

Angry Teachers

It probably seems to non-educators that teachers are a whiney lot. Every time the state or some money-loaded national organization starts talking about assessment or accountability, we seem to lose our collective minds. And #EdReform advocates are all too happy to fixate on what we’re doing wrong NOW, what’s we’re overlooking, neglecting, or misimplementing THIS TIME. 

The Feds want to fix us, the State wants to punish and expose us, and even our districts sometimes seem determined to inflict upon us whatever’s trending in their administrative book study THIS semester. 

Because kids aren’t learning, apparently. We quibble over what to assess and how to assess it, but the outcome is predetermined – THEY’RE NOT LEARNING THE IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THE ESSENTIAL STUFF or SKILLING THE STANDARDS by their DEVELOPMENTAL CHECKPOINTS. 

Funny thing, though – the conversation rarely seems to include actually doing anything for all those kids who apparently aren’t learning while they’re with us. 

They just never seems to come up. 

That’s weird, right?

We set even ‘higher standards’. We create even gooder testiness. We wrangle with curriculums and cores and skills and assessments as if the fate of mankind rests solely on this year’s legislation and this season’s platitudinal tripe. 

We grade the schools, VAM the teachers, threaten the administration, and mandate ALL THE SUCCESS! Surely if we just pass enough words in just the right combination, kids will learn! Bookoos and lots! 

But what if they don’t? Then what? What do we do for the actual kids?

The ones who aren’t learning?

If we reformorize harder and more, the conviction goes, students will become globally college and career ready. But if they don’t, then what?

EdReform Collage

I don’t mean all the stuff you’re going to do to the schools or the teachers. I’m in Oklahoma – we’re short something like a thousand warm bodies statewide, so threatening our jobs is problematic at best. You don’t like the way I choose to teach my kids? Go right ahead – take whoever’s next in that long line of folks desperately wanting to work HERE.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

But that’s still about what you’ll do to me, or to my boss, or to the institution reckless enough to give me a teaching degree. What are you going to do for all those kids who are apparently doomed due to my lack of competence? Have you considered… helping them in some way?

Since they’re so important to you? Your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY, if I remember your speeches correctly?

Robot Teacher

Holding them back isn’t much of a strategy. Unless we believe that most teachers out there are quite capable of doing the ‘good lessons’, but choose to keep them in reserve until merit pay or tougher accountability pry it out of them, running the kids through again isn’t likely to change much. The only difference the second time is we’ve officially labeled them ‘stupid’ to better motivate them. 

Perhaps busting the unions – so that teachers finally have to put in a full six-hours worth of effort – free up students’ natural urge to master the prescribed curriculum. Or is that just more blaming?

I get that you want US to do it, but we’re doing it wrong, remember? So who’s stepping up now to do it right?

You know, for the kids?  

Maybe it’s the curriculum itself with just the right careful tweaking, like a cartoon safe-cracker, things will slot and the learning will be fully unlocked! THAT will help the children, because just LOOK at these eleventeen pages of content expectations! 

But that’s still not helping the actual kids. Not even trying or claiming to, actually. 

Good Samaritan

They’re just props in your melodrama. You trot them out from time to time anecdotally, but when they’re considered at all, it’s usually as receptors – passive predicates of whatever fixin’ we’re promoting.

But active players in the equation? Diverse entities with varying degrees of agency and a multiplicity of interests, gifts, and needs? That’s absurd. Messy. Intimidating as hell. And thus, not welcome in the discussion.

Are they tired? Up half the night working, or watching siblings, or maybe just playing video games until the wee hours of the dawn? What part of the school’s A-F ranking do you tweak to ensure the child gets a good night’s sleep? 

Could they be worried because their family is a mess? Dad’s always gone and mom leans on them like they’re adults and should know what to do? Is that a ‘ticket out the door’ issue or a ‘call one parent every day with a positive report’ solution?

Maybe they’re not being brought up in a way that prepares them to succeed in school, so you offer them… ‘improved teacher training’ mandates? Maybe it’s poverty, or culture, or any of the other intimidating realities we want so badly to believe can be negated by a few good test scores. What part of that Gates Foundation money is going to address these? Or are you just going to keep blogging about how schools should be making more ‘real world connections’?

Corporate Tool

Maybe they don’t really care if they do well in school or not. Perhaps they’ve seen no evidence playing along with our system guarantees what they’d consider ‘success.’ Perhaps they’re unable to fear ‘failure’ in an age of teacher-blaming and extensive social safety nets. So, Mr. #EdReform – do we tackle that one by ‘flipping the lesson’ or by removing all of the desks? What cut score adjustment helps instill an essential level of ‘buy-in’ from pre-teens?

Maybe they’re just hungry, and not for what we’re serving. Maybe they’re distracted because their world is spinning out of control. Maybe they’re just bored, or confused, or angry, or sad. Maybe they don’t get it, and maybe they just don’t care. I assume that ‘intensive remediation’ you mandated will kick-start that ‘love of learning’ that’s lacking? Or would you pull their electives in order to solve their emotional issues before it hurts their GPA permanently?

Maybe they’re just dumb. How much merit pay fixes that, exactly?

Paperwork

It’s understandable we’d fixate on the lady with the big desk at the front of the room. She’s one of the few things in the equation we feel like we can control. So… she must be the problem. If not her individually, then as a representative of the system – the district, the training, the union to which she belongs. 

As teachers, we buy into this far too easily because it’s our ethical obligation to constantly ask, “What could I be doing differently? What haven’t I tried? Where might I have messed up?” We do this because we can’t fix everything, but we can try to change what WE do, and how we do it. 

But why is it the only people in the conversation focused on helping actual students are the teachers and administrators already condemned as stubborn remnants of a ‘failed system’? Does no one find it odd how little of the #EdReform conversation involves even trying to solve the problems holding back real students?

I don’t mean they’re not very good at it; I mean they don’t seem to even consider trying. Every solution is a variation of (a) helping a small percentage of chosen specials escape to ‘good’ schools, the rest be damned, or (b) prodding those of us already here to do it better, do it harder, do it different, do it right.

So here’s the chalk, here’s the textbook. Live it up, you pompous $#%&. Teach your heart out. Bind up their wounds and globally prepare them to your hearts content. 

OR, shut the $%#& up. 

Pompous

I’m not trying to take teachers out of the equation, and I’m certainly not trying to pile blame on a bunch of pre-teens for problems they didn’t create. I’m not against improving or learning or changing how we do things. 

But if we limit the conversation to clichés we can legislate, cost nothing politically or financially, require zero soul-searching on the part of the privileged classes, and make good sound bites for the uninformed multitudes, that’s not think-tanking – that’s bullsh*tting. 

I’m not terrified of change. I’m tired of your manufactured policy drama and snarky, belittling commentary. I’m tired of national and statewide policies whose only function is letting rich little boys play hero advocate. Meanwhile, my students – my real, live, varied, needy students – aren’t even factors in your calculations. 

You’re not actually helping. And, to be completely honest, you’re making my job even MORE difficult than it already is. You are not showing me the way; you are IN my way. 

Wanna really help my kids? Move.

 Admitting

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Don’t Worry – I Have A Plan #OklaEd

#oklaed

In an #OklaEd chat a week or so ago, we were challenged by @Coach57 to not merely complain about state legislation and legislatures, but to suggest specific solutions.

Fair enough.

I confess my cynicism does tend to get me stuck attacking nonsense rather than offering alternatives. History teaches many lessons, but few are more clear or consistent than this: it’s almost always much, MUCH easier to get people united AGAINST something than it is to reach consensus over what to be FOR. 

The thing is, I’m not convinced a majority of state legislatures actually want solutions to improve public education. Some seem quite determined to destroy it altogether – presumably in service to whatever private corruption they wish to install in its place. The rest merely pander to an ill-informed constituency with destructive platitudes and bad ideas marinated in shoddy rhetoric. 

None of which negates Coach’s point. So here’s my plan for Oklahoma Public Education. 

Districts decide what courses they’ll offer, how they’ll teach, and what’s required to graduate. They’re free to offer different types of diplomas, use traditional grading or not, or reinvent the idea of school altogether. 

I can hear the heads exploding already. Stay with me – it’s not as anarchic as it sounds.  

Each district would be part of a collective, a team of mutually accountable districts not necessarily scattered equally across the state, but also not packed together by region. We’d need a pretentious name for these – something that’s not entirely accurate but makes an offensively cheesy acronym. 

Each collective would be composed of 12 – 20 districts, a mix of large and small, urban and rural. Representatives from these districts would meet periodically – at least several times a year – to share ideas, successes, and failures (also known as ‘learning experiences’), AND to hold one another mutually accountable. 

Each district must secure the approval of its collective for its proposed curriculum and standards, however traditional or non-traditional they may be. The collective can grant ‘pilot’ status to ideas outside the norm, and set a period of time during which these ideas can be tried and assessed – probably a few years. They may also serve in an advisory/supportive capacity – fresh eyes from outside, as it were. 

Travel expenses and time investment would be offset by the elimination of most state compliance requirements. I can’t remember half of the bureaucratic crap districts have to crank out every month, but @OKEducation used to do lists from time to time – he could probably fill in some specifics. 

The representatives from each district should be at or near superintendent level, perhaps with a curriculum person as cohort. We don’t want this to be a symbolic exercise in cranking out the same old magniloquence – we want to actually change the substance of how school works. 

Doctor Frankenreform

Membership in each collective would be juggled from time to time to promote cross-pollination and reduce any tendency to fall into mutual back-scratching. Collectives would be overseen in a general way by the SDE using resources it wastes now on testing, compliance, and other bureaucracy not of its own design, but most of the decisions and actions of the collectives would be self-reported. The SDE or state legislature would only step in if a collective fails in some dramatic way to perform its functions. 

What madness would this unleash? Not much, I fear. The expense of real change is a natural retardant on progress, for better or worse. Keep in mind that most districts are already filled with teachers trained in core subjects, in classrooms set up and stocked for the same old same old, and led by graduates from the traditional system. 

If anything, I think it will be difficult to shake ourselves OUT of current ruts. I don’t expect much SO wildly outside-the-box that we make the funny pages up North. Change – and I do expect substantial, positive change – is likely to be evolutionary more than revolutionary. 

Hopefully it’s a LITTLE revolutionary, though?

Districts in sufficient proximity to one another could choose to work together in order to offer a greater array of options to their students. One might focus on STEM subjects and their real-world application in cooperation with local businesses or other institutions, while another combines arts programs from several schools to benefit from economies of scale. 

Bokachita High might offer a wider variety of AP courses than they could on their own, while Patumba Academy focuses on mechanical skills and FFA. These are just examples from my less-than-imaginative, old-schooled brain. I’m sure that districts given a little freedom would do much, much better. 

As to the potential for error, malice, or incompetence when granted such freedom, yes – stuff might happen. On the whole, however, I’ll trust a bunch of career educators who’ve stayed with their profession despite state abuse to make decisions about what’s best for kids over a bunch of career politicians who’ve done little to demonstrate similar priorities. 

The leadership of one district might be tempted to follow the path of least resistance, or place other priorities over the long-term good of students, but not five districts meeting together. Certainly not a dozen. 

I’m not saying we’re saints or martyrs, but we don’t get paid to bestow favors and we don’t get reelected based on our public posturing – given the choice, I’ll risk placing my faith in the educators. 

Irresponsibility

How do we judge the success or failure of a district or a collective? The resources currently devoted to standardized testing and those horrible companies would be redirected to a new branch of the State Department of Education in charge of communication with and feedback from universities, technical schools, and employers, both within and beyond state boundaries. 

They’d gather statistical and anecdotal feedback regarding how prepared students were for post-secondary education, employment, training, etc. They’d also do both short and long-term follow-up with randomly selected students to gage their perceptions of how prepared they were for college, career, life, etc. 

This is an imperfect process, made less so by limited resources, but as far as I know we don’t do anything at all like this under the current system. We just give this one multiple choice test in March, and… that’s it. That’s the summary of your entire educational experience, boiled down to a number. 

OK – that’s not fair. We give seven mutiple choice tests in March. THOSE are the summary of your entire educational experience, boiled down to seven numbers.

None of this is about tying this or that school district to one kid’s success or failure, but over a period of years we could accumulate some very useful feedback regarding the effectiveness of different things tried in various districts. All information would be made available to all districts for consideration in their collectives. I suppose the existing state tests could be available to districts as well, should they find internal value in administering them under whatever conditions they find appropriate. 

The more conservative elements of our state leadership are fond of talking about choice and competition in regards to public schools. If they mean it, they should be quite fond of a system giving so much choice to local districts. And while it’s not strictly ‘competition’, I’m not sure we want ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in our education system. We just need more flexibility figuring out what ‘winning’ looks like from place to place. 

We hear ‘accountability’ thrown around like a double-edged trump card every time talk of eliminating testing is broached. This setup includes plenty of accountability – the sort of professional oversight we like to think is common in medical or legal fields, as well as state-gathered feedback from universities and employers. 

You know all those times you’ve heard politicians talk about deregulating this or that industry so they’re free to create jobs and grow the economy and such? We need to tap into some of that libertarian fervor when it comes to state schools and tell the folks at the capitol to get out of the kitchen for a bit and let us cook. We promise, we’re taste-testing as we go. 

Fixing Education

The full potential of such a system is, like everything else, limited by funding. It’s more or less revenue-neutral, however, and if there are inherent flaws based on lack of resources, they can’t be much different or worse than those we face currently. In my unicorns and rainbows idealism, such a setup might encourage more participation on the part of state industries or those folks already dumping cash into #edreform – assuming they lack a specific agenda of their own in so doing. 

So turn us loose to really try to reach and teach our kids. We’ll hold one another’s feet to the fire, challenge and encourage and suggest and share. It’s not like the current system is working, and in almost every school in the state you’ll find teachers and administrators already bending and stretching and violating the rules as best they can to accommodate those in their care. Let us do it without having to pretend we’re not, and without so much resistance from people who’ve never met our kids. 

And if, in a decade, the industries and institutions to which you pay such deference are unhappy, then you’ll have your license to have your way with us – charters and virtuals, border to border, Pearson proudly stamped on every faux-ploma. 

Or… it might work. We might start finding better ways to help a wider variety of students not only graduate but go forth and prosper – in whatever way that might mean for them. The top can be toppier, the academic middle can be fished out of those cracks they’ve perpetually fallen into, and many, many more of those we’re currently losing altogether can find some reason and some pathway to make themselves useful economically and personally – contributing to the good of all instead of further draining what we have now. 

What, exactly, do we have to lose?

Let’s Talk About Urinals

Dark StoreA few years ago, in a fit of enviro-economic greenness, Wal-Mart started this thing where they didn’t turn on the lights or keep their stores tolerably warm or cool. 

Presumably this saved tens of thousands of dollars per location, but that wasn’t the stated motivation for the change. Rather, they were doing it for… ‘the environment’. Not the store environment, it seems, but the larger concept of Mother Earth and her sweaty, dark embrace. 

Needless to say, this approach was tempting for any number of organizations, including the public education institution in which I daily shared wisdom and inspired greatness at that time. We arrived one day to discover that the urinals in the faculty restrooms had been altered. 

For those of you cursed by the cruel combination of biology and social mores which makes it unlikely you’ve enjoyed observing at a urinal firsthand, they look something like this:

Urinals

Although rarely accompanied by printed instructions, common usage patterns suggest four basic steps: approach, prepare, urinate, flush. Handwashing is ideal afterwards, but that’s a different station. 

Now, though, the handle used to flush them had been removed. A very nice, commercial-quality sticker was affixed to the wall between them:

“This Urinal Does Not Require Flushing.”

Tulsa is not the most glorious of consumer meccas, but we do have a few pretty nice retail establishments and a number of malls run by ginormous international conglomerates. Only a few miles from this public education institution is one of the flashiest malls in a several-state area, and they had – a few short years before – remodeled their public restrooms and installed fancy new environmentally cozy urinals. 

Woodland Hills MallI’ll spare you the intimate details, but suffice it to say we all knew damn well what a flushless urinal looked like, and this was not it. Them fancy mall pee-ers were devoid of water, nicely decorated and scented, and had little plastic things that did I-don’t-know-what, but left you feeling modern and fresh and I’ll tell you what. 

This was the same old urinal, and the same old water, but with the flushing handle removed. 

Were further confirmation needed (it wasn’t), it wasn’t unusual for those in the building after hours for various reasons to be in the restroom when the custodian came in to clean. He usually started by pulling out some pliers and using them to flush the urinals we were unable to because of the missing handles.

“This Urinal Does Not Require Flushing.”

It so very much DID, though. It totally did. We just couldn’t. And that’s a very different thing.

Two Buckets

It was a large building, and this particular faculty restroom was located such that it was well-used throughout the day. Fall days. Winter days. Spring Days. Cold days. Warm days. 

People come in early; people stay late. Male people. Urinating people. Lots and lots of urinating people.

Plastic buckets would at least have allowed for greater volume, and been further away during these most essential interactions. As it was, by mid-afternoon even walking into the restroom was… distressing. 

“This Urinal Does Not Require Flushing.”

It took a long, sustained stream (see what I did there?) of complaints and explanations and – I’m almost ashamed to say – photographic supplements, but eventually they had the handles put back on. I’m thankful we won that particular fight, but it’s time and energy and advocating capital I’d rather have spent on something more substantive.

It also made me a Bambi-hating anti-environmentalist afraid of change and accountability or something, but no one came right out and put it that way. The annoyance from my betters was palpable, however. 

Years later, I can’t help but be reminded of the experience every time I see rhetoric slathered on top of the same old systems. It’s usually accompanied by just enough tinkering to lend credence to whatever trendy claims are being put forth, while in reality further handicapping those trying to take care of critical business.

“These may LOOK like multiple choice tests, but they’re carefully designed to measure CRITICAL THINKING!” (That’s not a thing. Multiple guess is multiple guess.)

“We’re moving towards inquiry-driven, standards-based learning!” (OUR Inquiry and OUR standards, of course.)

Yes We Can!

“Our priority is treating every child as an individual with unique strengths and interests!” (As we cram them through the dehumanizing factory model of faux enlightenment curriculum?) 

“I believe my job is to SUPPORT our Teachers, and be an Instructional Leader!” (iPad w/ evaluation rubric alert!)

“This NEXT set of state standards will be the highest expectations for all children ever anywhere in the universal highness of standardized critical thinkingly career readiness global market!” (Need I even?)

“This Urinal Does Not Require Flushing.”

The sentiment may be sincere. Sometimes we just need to cut utility costs, or get off a state naughty list, or qualify for someone’s grant money. Too often, however, selling the rhetoric requires taking steps to make things worse in order to pretend we’re making them better (see ‘Common Core’, ‘No Child Left Behind’, or pretty much anything done by President Snow for the 12 Districts).

Perhaps a better place to start would be to ask those doing the urinating or the educating (I was tempted to ponder that particular analogy further, but opted to go ‘high road’ instead) what they think might be the most helpful. Be honest about goals and motivations of other interested players. Work it out like grown-ups, crazy as that may sound.

The powers-that-be can keep taking off the allegorical handles and posting their little stickers explaining what a wonderful improvement this is, but that doesn’t make it so. We may not be able to prevent such policies, but we’re not going toilet it go unchallenged. 

It’s hard to stop the flow of information once it’s started. We’ll keep leaking our golden insights to anyone who will listen. I may sound like a bladdering idiot (that one was a stretch), but I’m here to inform those in power:

“Urinal-ot of trouble if you don’t listen. Stall if you wish, but you won’t wipe us out. Because we’re teachers. And we’re pissed.”

Flushing is most definitely required. 

Night Custodian

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Inconceivable Conversations

BananaPhone

I Do Not Think That Word Means…

We should put children on trial. 

What?

On trial. Kids should be required to go on trial to graduate. 

You mean, like… if they’ve done something wrong or fallen sho-

No. All of them. Innocent or guilty. Graduation or death. Maybe incarceration. 

*pause*

Why?

*impatientsigh* 

We all go through trials in life. High school is to prepare us for these trials. So they should be put on trial. 

Those two uses of the words are largely unrelated.

Clearly I believe in children and you don’t. 

What You Think It Means…

We MUST test children with state-created tests. All children should have to reach a certain cut score – to be determined long after they’ve made the attempt – on standardized exams in randomly chosen subjects, regardless of their backgrounds, interests, abilities, or circumstances. 

But that’s insane. Kids aren’t all the same. And our choice of ‘important’ subjects is wildly subjective. The standards change annually, and the tests aren’t even that g- 

Life is full of tests. 

Full of tests? 

Yes. 

Multiple choice, single-day, high stakes tests, during which you cannot have so much as a bottle of water and large periods of which involve mandatory staring at the wall because you’re not allowed to read or nap or look around and are being held captive solely at the whims of the testing companies and little Billy who takes forever on everything? Those sorts of tests? Life is full of those?

Yes. 

*pause* 

That’s not even close to true. 

Pilots take tests to become pilots. Ha! SCORE! *doesvictorydance* 

Pilots want to be pilots – they’re intrinsically driven to do well. They’re paying for it, they want it so bad.

They’re not being required to become pilots by some distant entity who’s decided piloting is more important than, say, plumbing. 

Pilots take the most important part of the test in a plane. Flying. They learn by doing and test by showing they can do, along with whatever pen and paper stuff is required.

Plumbers, on the other hand, don’t have to take the pilot test; they have to do something involving plumbing and the format isn’t even the same. They don’t sit at a computer for six hours, their entire success or failure resting on a cut score which hasn’t even been set yet based on this week’s ever-changing standards which themselves have nothing to do with plumbing but everything to do with weak-minded leaders who want to sound tough on edu- er… tough on plumbing and get themselves re-elected by constituents barely able to unclog their own toilets, let alone fix actual pipes in this particular allegory.  

*pause* 

So you’re saying that plumbers don’t need to know what an airplane is? That plumbers will never need to fly anywhere? 

That’s not even remotely what I’m saying.

*playsinspirationalsongaboutbelievingyoucanfly*

I Am Looking For A Six-Fingered Student…

All children can learn. 

Yes. 

I believe in the potential of all children. 

Yes, so do I. 

No you don’t. You said plumbers can never learn to fly. 

No, I – actually, never mind. You go ahead. 

Kids need a rich background in a variety of subjects to be well-rounded citizens and fulfilled individuals, and because we’re training them for jobs which don’t even exist yet! 

Yes. 

So every kid regardless of ability, interest, or circumstances, should be required to read-to-learn by 3rd grade and pass certain benchmark tests at 5th, 8th, and 10th grade or be held back. 

No. 

You need to make up your mind.

Those aren’t the same claims. The first celebrates the general potential of young people, and the second is a rather dogmatic and specific set of punative, limiting, unnecessary checkpoints. 

So you don’t think kids need to know how to read? 

I think they’d become better readers if they were offered a purpose other than being tested over books. I think they’d become better readers if we focused on helping them become better readers instead of on helping them become better test-takers over reading passages. Is that the same thing? 

I think that math is good for everyone, and history is good for everyone, but I also believe with equal-if-not-greater conviction that team sports are good for everyone, and the arts are good for everyone, and learning how to present yourself professionally online and hold a decent conversation is good for everyone, and knowing how to fix your own toilet or make other minor repairs around the house is good for everyone, and first aid is good for everyone, and spending time outdoors alone in quiet contemplation is good for everyone and knowing that you’re beautiful and strong and more than you’ve been told by the corporate-driven world around you is good for everyone.  

It’s not a question of whether or not this or that is ‘good for everyone’. It’s a question of whether or not we select a few specific things to draw hard, punitive lines over, at the expense of all the others. If we could teach them all everything at all levels all the time, that would be ideal. But if we want to teach them how to learn and grow as best we can with minimal time and resources, the Biology EOI is not a ditch in which I wish to die – not for all kids in all circumstances of all varieties. Especially when it means taking so many kids down with us. 

And remediation by repeating grades has a horrible success rate – lower than Oklahoma marriages or tax policies. Most kids who are held back don’t get better at whatever’s giving them difficulty, they just learn that they’re ‘slow’, or ‘stupid’. We’re teaching the strong students to hate learning while they beat the system, and weak students to hate learning while it beats them. We’re going to teacher hell for that kind of thing. Kids who are held back or placed in unending remediation don’t magically bloom the ninth time through; usually they become discipline problems or simply drop out. 

At which point our scores go up. 

Well, yes – I suppose… 

Meaning more kids are learning and that high standards help all children. 

*stunnedsilence* 

Our Schools Are Only MOSTLY Dead

We’re training them to compete in a global economy. 

Are we? 

Yes. There’s a globe, and an economy – they are therefore competing within that economy. 

The number of Oklahoma graduates going up against kids from China, Germany, or Russia for a specific position is pretty small… 

Our number one goal should be to produce Finnish children without doing anything Finland is doing to get there. If we can’t do that, we’ll make them Chinese, or Russian. Wait, no – how’s Estonia doing these days? Do we even TEACH Estonian in high school…? 

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“Mirror, Mirror”

Mirror MirrorI’m wrong quite regularly.

That’s OK – I’ve learned to live with it. I’m actually getting pretty good at it. Sometimes I throw stuff out there I’m not entirely sold on myself, seeking refutation from which I can learn or to which I can cling. 

Other times I just like to stir the pot a bit and see what comes to the surface. Some learners are more kinetic, others more verbal – I learn best from provocation. It’s a gift. 

I’m blessed to be surrounded by people who disagree with me about any number of important things. Some inform me regularly that I’m full of stuff one does not normally wish to be full of for any length of time. Others enjoy the heated engagement as much as I do. 

It’s nice to have people online agree with me, especially when I’m so often insightful and witty, but it’s equally appreciated when I’m challenged – or even called out on my overconfident snark-flinging. 

Other times, though, I find conflicts springing up not because I disagree with someone, or they with me – rather, it comes because we’re not even operating under the same set of assumptions. My paradigm crashes into their paradigm and awkward frustration ensues. 

Mirror MirrorPerhaps this is my failure to communicate clearly. I can be a bit scattered and make all the wrong assumptions and it’s just… yikes.

Often, though, I think it has more to do with entrenched worldviews – paradigms which deserve to be challenged, or at least questioned. If they can’t withstand a little examination, they’re not very good worldviews, are they?

For example, I’ve long been an advocate for a much wider and looser definition of ‘essential curriculum’. I don’t believe every child needs to focus on the exact same subjects at the exact same point in their lives or reach the exact same cut score to have any chance of being a useful human being. I find state standards – here or most places – to be an unacceptably haphazard, outdated, narrow-minded selection of hit’n’miss priorities yoked with punitive standardized exams. And yet, it is towards this freakish mélange that we devote the largest chunk of school resources, priorities, and evaluations.

I find it inconsistent at best (and grossly hypocritical at most likely) that we hold so sacred and homilize so vigorously standards for EVERY child – HIGHER standards – ESSENTIAL standards – The HIGHEREST HIGH STANDARDS OF ESSENTIAL HIGHNESS, without which all youth are destined to wallow in mediocrity and food stamps – which most of us holding good jobs or enjoying fulfilling careers probably couldn’t pass without substantial preparation. 

Mirror Mirror 2Standards which those making the rules couldn’t pass even with preparation. 

Not because they’re SO HIGH, but because they’re simply not necessary or useful to us on a daily basis. 

Those for whom ‘improved test scores’ acts as a synonym for ‘richer learning’ and an immutable antecedent of ‘good employment and greater personal fulfillment’ read such claims and don’t merely disagree – they shudder in horror and outrage at the very suggestion that math is stupid and unnecessary, no one needs to know science, why should you study history if you’re not going to become a historian, and reading is for pale, sickly nerds who can’t play hockey. 

Except that I haven’t said anything remotely like that – not in my world. 

In theirs, however, it’s quite genuinely the same thing. “It’s inane to hold every last child from every variety of circumstance and with all sorts of different strengths, interests, abilities, and opportunities, to the exact same Algebra II requirement and cut score or they can’t graduate high school” reads 100% the same to them as “When am I ever going to need math?”

This is the same sort of conflation used less innocently by edu-reformers to push their agendas. They open with a statement with which only bad yucky stupid people would disagree – such as “All children can learn!” Everyone in earshot nods vigorously, grunts in assent, and looks around uncomfortably as if expecting any moment to be confronted with a vile defier of child potential.

The Bringers of this New Wisdom then slide quickly into some variation of “So of course we must sit them at these screens for 6-hour periods without looking around, going pee, or reading talking thinking sleeping moving breathing loudly fidgeting or otherwise indicating they are a life form for hours and hours and hours even after they’re done because HIGH STANDARDS ACCOUNTABILITY POTENTIAL GLOBAL MARKET! 

Mirror MirrorIf you question the validity or long-term value of this test, the North Koreans have pretty much already won – all thanks to YOU, the soft bigotry of low expectations outdated edu-relic hippie-who-destroys-the-future labor union drone.

Because it’s the same to them – the test is the potential is the belief in the children is success is what we do. 

I usually leave it to others, then, to explain once more why such thinking is false. Why such assumptions are misguided. Why the efforts built on these perversions are not merely doomed to fail but dooming those consumed by them in the meantime. 

I simply lack the words to make those connections – not for those who disagree with me, but for those occupying an entirely different reality stream. In their worlds, Worf marries Troi, Britta keeps that blue streak in her hair despite the disapproval of Evil Abed, Vampire Willow is eternally “bored now”, and Captain America is irrevocably white. I’m not condemning their paradigm, it’s just that I can’t – 

No, I take that back. I’m totally condemning their paradigm.

Get over it, people. Testing and education are not the same. You cling to this only out of brainwashing or fear you cannot fight it – but you can. Come with me – keep me honest, if you must, but join me in this timeline. We can take Sunnydale back, keep Community on NBC, and let Willow find her own gay in her own way.

As to Worf, I always thought him with Troi was kinda neat. So we’ll keep that. 

Mirror Mirror

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