Top Ten Education Myths (Part One)

Letterman Top TenI don’t do many numbered lists, but I notice they’re going out of vogue and figured that was the perfect time to do one more. It’s like wearing cargo shorts, or getting excited about Kings of Leon. 

Go on – judge me.

Anyone in education for more than a week is deluged with clichés and presumed bits of wisdom which rarely play out as promised. They’re not usually malicious, but neither are they reliable. Like a mirage, perceived substance vanished when you’re most desperately relying on them. 

In an effort to reduce the volume of sand in our collective edu-eyes, here’s the first half of my Top Ten Education Myths Countdown.

Top10ten#10 – The students will make you crazy. There are certainly times that my students leave me frustrated, bewildered, or even frothing towards neurosis. They can be a difficult lot, no matter how many inspirational memes you retweet each week. 

That being said, it’s not the kids who truly hold the power to undermine your sanity – it’s the adults. The higher up the ladder, the more likely they are to zap you with the crazy ray when it’s least welcome and not at all necessary. 

If you’re not nodding in silent assent as you read this, thank your leadership effusively and often. They’re the exception.

Piano Lessons#9 – The teacher students like the best is the best teacher. This is not without elements of truth. It’s difficult to reach kids who DON’T like you, and teachers who are comfortable with and care about their students tend to give more, and get more from them. 

But a teacher may be wildly effective because they’re consistent, know exactly what they’re doing, and demand big things of those not accustomed to being considered so very full of possibilities. They may receive ZERO Starbucks cards at the holidays but deep thanks from former students years after they’ve moved on and have a little perspective.

Conversely, there are very ‘cool’ teachers who are strong on the bonding but weak on the ‘challenging’ or the ‘knowing stuff’. Correlation is not causation –you may know many good teachers who are totes down with the kids, but that doesn’t make it a ‘rule’.  

Sleeping Teacher#8 – Teachers are afraid of accountability / Teachers’ unions are there to make sure their members aren’t held to any real standards. We, as a profession, are largely culpable for this perception. There are few things more horrifying to watch than a teachers’ strike on the news – horrible slogans, bad hair, and chants beginning with “2, 4, 6, 8…” 

You’d think we were collectively thrown off of American Idol during Hollywood Week and just couldn’t accept that our slow, tender version of “All About That Bass” just wasn’t up to snuff. 

But think about your elected leaders – the ones who make you go nuts on Facebook or Twitter with their inane comments and proposals. Better yet, recall the most difficult relationship from which you’ve ever had to extricate yourself, especially if it involved being judged or misconstrued – the more irrational the better. Ask yourself if you’d want that person in charge of your income, your profession, or your major life decisions. How about letting them tell you how to raise your kids? No?

That’s what it’s like when people with zero track record of having any idea what they’re talking about continue to insist on telling us what good teaching looks like, how to handle our students, etc. And they have power over our meager lil’ paychecks as well. 

It’s enough to make those horrible slogans seem encouraging. 

Teacher Martyr#7 – Teachers have it easy / Teachers work longer and suffer more nobly than any other profession in the history of mankind. We may overreact to tired old cracks about ‘having summers off’ and whatnot, but far sillier are our efforts to establish that we do, in fact, martyr ourselves in ways that leave slackers like Gandhi and Mother Theresa bathed in shame and inadequacy. 

There’s that email showing what we’d make if we were babysitters (something in the hundreds of thousands annually), and all those tortured tales about our 60-hour weeks and the resulting personal dysfunctions. “Yeah, but did MLK every have to buy his own SCHOOL SUPPLIES?!?”

I’m not saying no one does it that way – just that it’s not the norm. Nor is it healthy for extended periods. Sure, I put in plenty of hours before 8:00 and after 3:00 prepping, grading, and occasionally trying to learn a few new things.  

But then I go home. I read books. I watch hockey. I have a family. So should you.  

Bad Children's Books#6 – Such and such kids won’t learn no matter what you do.

Maybe. Or maybe I just suck and haven’t tried the right thing. Maybe if we could find a better setting – more structured, less strict, different peer group… Maybe if more of our faculty looked like him, or more of our curriculum mattered to her. 

Then again, maybe not. Sometimes it’s not us – it’s them. The moment this becomes an excuse to write them off, however, you’re doing it wrong. 

Don’t beat yourself up over every kid you can’t reach – chances are their issues go way deeper than you can spelunk in an hour a day with 152 others to inspire. But if that ever stops bothering you, eating at you, making you question everything you thought you liked about yourself… well, then you suck. 

Time to let you in on a little secret. 

I know exactly what my Top 3 are going to be, but I’m torn about #4 and #5. I have some ideas, but I’d like to know what YOU’D put on this list before I finish it in a few days. Comment below, or email me if you prefer. 

Bonus points if your suggestion is already one of my Top 3.

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May I Please See?

Annoying Teachers

Teachers can be a stubborn lot. 

To be fair, in this profession, we kinda have to be. Trying to steer 34 teenagers at a time into meaningful learning while trapped in a concrete box an hour at a time against their will requires, well… a certain amount of stubbornness. Sometimes it works, other times – not so much. 

But you try again the next hour. You come back the next day and adjust. Refusing to give in is a job requirement.

Thrift Store ShoppingYou get tired of cautious price-checking as you shop for groceries, or putting on your best face while you limit how many back-to-school clothes can come from Target before going back to the… usual places. Your friends don’t mean any harm when they share their vacation stories or invite you to that restaurant they chose to ‘accommodate your budget,’ but – SERIOUSLY? They don’t even have a kids’ menu there!

It takes stubbornness to love your chosen path anyway. To decide it matters on those many days you DON’T have motivational breakthrough with little Bobo and his tearful thanks for all you do. 

If you stay in this profession long, you start to notice that every year or two the BIG-FIXIT-PLAN-THAT-WILL-SAVE-US-ALL comes to your district and dominates every faculty meeting and required PD day. Touting examples from schools nothing like yours in communities your kids will never live in, we slap this year’s program on top of the past dozen we’ll now ignore but never acknowledge enough to remove. 

It takes a rather bullheaded individual to learn how to either surf those waves or let them wash over you without pulling you under. It takes a stubborn soul to resist bitterness towards those genuinely trying to help or apathy towards legitimate personal and professional improvement.

So, yeah – we’re a difficult bunch.

It’s a given in Oklahoma that nothing done at the capital is intended to help your kids do or learn anything meaningful. We don’t all burden ourselves with trying to keep up with the jumble of agendas, vendettas, naïve intentions, or other factors in play. Some of us follow a few bills and could name several ‘good’ and ‘bad’ legis up there, while others choose to tune it out and simply do our best – knowing that sophistry and power always have and always will seek to undercut and disparage us. Our kids are just collateral damage in battles that have little to do with education, ‘standards,’ or preparation for a rich, meaningful life. 

OK Leggies

Before I even read the paper or the latest press releases from OKC, I’ve assumed the position – defensive, cynical, and a bit pissed off. Because I know people I care about are about to take it again – hard and without dinner. 

It’s become my new normal. I don’t blame others for trying not to get wrapped up in it – although it’s like pretending you don’t have cancer, or that your spouse isn’t fooling around when it’s obvious to everyone else. Ignoring it rarely fixes it; “optimism” is a poor substitute for responsibility.  

So yeah – showing up every day and trying to make a difference takes some stubbornness. Working the political process takes a healthy dose of mule-headed optimism. Pretending we can win – professionally, politically, personally – it all takes some pretty iffy grit. 

In short, teachers are a pain in the ass. Big surprise.

Flipping OffBut I’m going into 2016 with an open mind. It’s a new year, a new legislative session, and a new round of draconian budget cuts. Why not new ideologies and understandings as well? Maybe I’m wrong about some things. Maybe we’re ALL wrong about any NUMBER of contentious issues. 

I’m ready and willing to learn. Eyes open.  Please… show me. I know you think you’ve said it all before, explained it all already – but so have we. Let’s try just once more? For the children?

May I please see examples of students who were ‘trapped’ in failing schools, unable to pursue other options on their own, but received vouchers and flourished? Kids who weren’t going to private schools already? It would be great to have a few anecdotal examples for that ‘personal’ connection, and then maybe some numbers on how that’s worked out in similar states or communities to our own.

If it’s not too much trouble. 

Oh, and bonus points for actual low-income students of color. Your rhetoric constantly hints they’re the primary beneficiaries, but you never quite come out and actually say so… 

[[{“type”:”media”,”view_mode”:”media_small”,”fid”:”1710″,”attributes”:{“alt”:””,”class”:”media-image”,”typeof”:”foaf:Image”}}]]

 

While we’re on school choice, may I please see some examples of public schools who are so very thankful for the implementation of vouchers? I know we’ve been pretty up in arms about our funds being cut as state and federal requirements continue to grow, but the rhetoric from the right is that public schools will benefit greatly from fewer students and less money, because… percentage-numbers-choice, and America-freedom-eagle-truth. 

Love My KidsI’m ready to sincerely consider your examples, and their stories. Seriously.

Of course it’s not just taking away resources that improves schools – it’s public shaming. We’ve been fighting one another for years now over this annual A-F state report card thing. I’ll admit this – teachers do get touchy about accountability. We don’t like it when you accuse our kids of being stupid, and we don’t like it when you suggest we’re lazy and incompetent. 

It becomes a bit of a vicious cycle – you keep cutting and regulating us out of the ability to do anything useful, and when we have trouble accomplishing all we’re trying to, you feel like the few resources you funnel our way are being wasted. 

ReportCardsBut both the OKSDE website and the annual rhetoric from our State Legislature is clear – schools landing on the low end of that A-F list will receive increased support – training – mentoring – guidance – resources – from the state, yes? There’s a reference to using ‘spurs’ on us I’m not crazy about, but other than that…  

It’s not to shame anyone, or to further stereotype the most marginalized, vulnerable, and disenfranchised segments of our state’s population – it’s to identify need, and inform parents who can’t otherwise possibly figure out if their child is going to a good school or not. 

I’m ready to focus more on the ways the state tries to meet the needs of underperformers, but I’ve been too caught up in my own frustration to pay attention to that part. May I please have some examples of schools you’ve turned around through careful diagnoses and tough love? Some stats fitting their stories into a larger state context would be helpful as well, thanks.

Finally – and I appreciate your patience, I know I’m putting a lot on your plate here – could you explain this ‘trickle down’ thing in the state economy again? I’ve been a bit close-minded in my recent frustration, and I’m having trouble with the details.

As oil prices fall, earthquakes increase, and the national economy recovers, we fight against federal dollars because Obama-gay-terror-federalism, and Hitler-slavery, right? (And you thought I didn’t listen!) You keep cutting taxes on the top sliver of wealthiest citizens and businesses in Oklahoma because we cannot tax ourselves into prosperity – so if we eliminate state revenue altogether… we’re rich?

That’s where I’m confused.

Trickle Down CartoonI know there’s a balance of sorts, and that high enough tax rates kill growth. But may I please see examples of how cutting the obligations of the most prosperous has led to more jobs, more state revenue, more services, more prosperity – in OUR state, recently? 

Someone – the Governor, maybe? – was trying to convince me recently that our budgetary woes are primarily the result of falling oil prices or ISIS or something. I’d like you to know I jumped to your defense! If there’s one thing you’ve been consistent about over the years, it’s that you’re not interested in excuses when the results aren’t what you’ve mandated. You believe in accountability! Taking responsibility! Making the touch choices so the important numbers go higher!

I respect you too much to pretend you don’t have absolute and total control over what happens to the state and every numeric result therein. Poor outcomes means you’re either lazy or poorly trained, and how insulting would it be to hear THAT repeatedly every time you can’t work miracles? 

Besides, if the State Legislature has zero influence on the economy, why do we even bother having you? You could be out in the schools, showing us again how to do the learning gooder instead. You should have a talk with that Governor. She doesn’t understand how this stuff works – not the way you do. 

Thank you so much for your patience with us! We’ll try to be more open-minded and reasonable, and I look forward to your explanations and examples. Don’t be afraid to use small words and clear visuals. I’m a teacher, after all, and you know better than anyone what THAT means. 

Union Sign

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Dear Frustrated Student…

Knocked Down

Hello. Pull up a chair. 

I know you came here to talk about grades, or get help on an assignment, or maybe just because your mom or one of your principals forced you to. That’s OK – I don’t take those sorts of things personally.

I can’t help but notice, however, that whatever your motivation, it does NOT seem to be a deep hunger for learning this particular skill or content. That’s also OK – like I said, not personal.

I can see your frustration. Seemed like you had all the time in the world to make up work, catch up on reading, figure out a plan… and now – suddenly – the semester is almost over, due dates are past, and you finally noticed the review sheet for the final and you don’t know ANY of this stuff – or so it feels.

Or maybe it’s a nagging disdain for school in general. Maybe you’ve begun to notice that the system itself isn’t particularly geared for deep, personal learning. It’s more like a weird bureaucratic game – fake some nice, show up and turn stuff in, and guess what each teacher actually wants from week to week. What you want, who you are, where you’re at, doesn’t seem to matter much.

And you’re right – it’s a stupid system. Some of us are working on that, but…

Library Girl

Hear me out – just for a moment. Please consider that even if grades are stupid, they’re still how the current system works. Even if they don’t accurately express who you are, what you know, or what you’ve done, they ARE attainable without extensive suffering. More importantly, grades give you options. 

Maybe your parents will go easier on you about stuff if your grades are good. You have more choices about what to take next year if your grades are good. It’s easier to get into things you want to join, or get the jobs you want if you start working while still in school.

When you graduate, those silly numbers and letters largely dictate how many choices you’ll have about where you go and what you do from here. It’s not about what I think you should do at that point – it’s about YOU having OPTIONS.

And those, for better or worse, largely come from grades.

Trombone Boy

I hope, too, that you realize that even if grades don’t always measure learning, there’s still lots of learning to be had here. Most of your teachers got into this profession out of some combination of caring about kids and loving whatever subject they’re teaching. 

Not ME, of course – I’m working out my personal issues by torturing teenagers – but I’m the exception. Most of the others felt a ‘calling’ to do this. They may seem jaded and bitter now, but the roots of their idealism are still there. You just have to tap into them. 

You don’t have to love every subject, and certainly not every assignment, but please don’t let your frustration get in the way of noticing when something really is kinda cool, or interesting, or important, or engaging. It’s OK to care from time to time. It doesn’t mean you’ve sold out or given in; it just means you’re listening and willing to learn. 

One other thing, then we’ll look at your grade and realistic options between now and the end of the grading period. Pretend you’re really listening to me here and I’ll probably go easier on you when it comes time to finalize this stuff. We like to feel like we’re ‘reaching the kids’. 

It’s possible you haven’t made very good decisions so far this year. Maybe this is the latest in a long series of rocky semesters, or maybe it’s new – school used to be easy until

If the underlying issues are about family, or legal stuff, or chemical imbalances, addiction, abuse, or simply good ol’ generalized rampant dysfunction – you need to understand that you’re not old enough for most of what’s happened to you in life so far to be your fault. 

For the same reasons we don’t let you vote, drive, decide whether or not to go to school, or let you manage your own behavior while here, etc., you’re not morally, legally, spiritually, or intellectually culpable for the vast majority of what’s happened to you up until now.

Even when you’ve made choices – good OR bad – they’re inevitably shaped by your upbringing, DNA, and events beyond your control.

Confused or Annoyed

It’s not that problems go away when you hit 18, but they become more and more YOUR problems to handle as best YOU can. Part of what sucks about being a teenager is you have so many near-adult responsibilities, but so little power to handle them as you see fit. 

That’s going to start changing, and suddenly all the rules will be different. Good decisions won’t always produce immediate good results, but a series of good decisions usually results in more good results than bad. All we can do is play the odds. 

Old people like myself used to hang this poem on our bathroom walls or behind our desks – it starts with something like, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

You can’t change your parents, or your teachers, or your past. I know that sucks, but that’s how it is. You’d be surprised how many people burn up all their time, energy, and emotion trying. It never works. 

You CAN do a better job with the parts IN your control. It won’t seem like it at first, but the learning happens in the struggle. You get better at it by doing it over and over. When it works, keep doing it; when it doesn’t, try again. 

I know, sounds easy, right? It’s always easier to see and understand when it’s someone else. 

Headache

Finally, you’re smart enough for this class. If you weren’t, you’d already be in another class. If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s categorizing and tracking kids. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and if you were too stupid to be in here, I’d have taken you aside long ago and said, “Honey, I have some difficult news. You’re… well, you’re a great kid, but you’re simply too stupid for this class. I’m going to help you find a bozo class where you can be with your own people.”

But I didn’t, did I?

I promise you, then – you’re more than capable. Of course it’s hard. Why would we come to school and practice a bunch of stuff we could already do, or learn stuff we already know? Hmm? Oh, well – I can’t help how that other teacher does things, but that’s not what we SHOULD be doing, at least.

And you’re going to make it. It won’t be quick, but it WILL GET BETTER. Life doesn’t get easy, but you’ll get better at it being hard, I promise. Eventually you’ll be able to reach out to those around you less capable than yourself and help them get through their craziness as well. Because you’ll get it. Because you’ll have done it. 

I’ll stop now, but I’m right about all of this. I’m very, very old, and very, very wise. Understood?

OK. Let’s look at that grade…

Help

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Don’t Worry – I Have A Plan #OklaEd

#oklaed

In an #OklaEd chat a week or so ago, we were challenged by @Coach57 to not merely complain about state legislation and legislatures, but to suggest specific solutions.

Fair enough.

I confess my cynicism does tend to get me stuck attacking nonsense rather than offering alternatives. History teaches many lessons, but few are more clear or consistent than this: it’s almost always much, MUCH easier to get people united AGAINST something than it is to reach consensus over what to be FOR. 

The thing is, I’m not convinced a majority of state legislatures actually want solutions to improve public education. Some seem quite determined to destroy it altogether – presumably in service to whatever private corruption they wish to install in its place. The rest merely pander to an ill-informed constituency with destructive platitudes and bad ideas marinated in shoddy rhetoric. 

None of which negates Coach’s point. So here’s my plan for Oklahoma Public Education. 

Districts decide what courses they’ll offer, how they’ll teach, and what’s required to graduate. They’re free to offer different types of diplomas, use traditional grading or not, or reinvent the idea of school altogether. 

I can hear the heads exploding already. Stay with me – it’s not as anarchic as it sounds.  

Each district would be part of a collective, a team of mutually accountable districts not necessarily scattered equally across the state, but also not packed together by region. We’d need a pretentious name for these – something that’s not entirely accurate but makes an offensively cheesy acronym. 

Each collective would be composed of 12 – 20 districts, a mix of large and small, urban and rural. Representatives from these districts would meet periodically – at least several times a year – to share ideas, successes, and failures (also known as ‘learning experiences’), AND to hold one another mutually accountable. 

Each district must secure the approval of its collective for its proposed curriculum and standards, however traditional or non-traditional they may be. The collective can grant ‘pilot’ status to ideas outside the norm, and set a period of time during which these ideas can be tried and assessed – probably a few years. They may also serve in an advisory/supportive capacity – fresh eyes from outside, as it were. 

Travel expenses and time investment would be offset by the elimination of most state compliance requirements. I can’t remember half of the bureaucratic crap districts have to crank out every month, but @OKEducation used to do lists from time to time – he could probably fill in some specifics. 

The representatives from each district should be at or near superintendent level, perhaps with a curriculum person as cohort. We don’t want this to be a symbolic exercise in cranking out the same old magniloquence – we want to actually change the substance of how school works. 

Doctor Frankenreform

Membership in each collective would be juggled from time to time to promote cross-pollination and reduce any tendency to fall into mutual back-scratching. Collectives would be overseen in a general way by the SDE using resources it wastes now on testing, compliance, and other bureaucracy not of its own design, but most of the decisions and actions of the collectives would be self-reported. The SDE or state legislature would only step in if a collective fails in some dramatic way to perform its functions. 

What madness would this unleash? Not much, I fear. The expense of real change is a natural retardant on progress, for better or worse. Keep in mind that most districts are already filled with teachers trained in core subjects, in classrooms set up and stocked for the same old same old, and led by graduates from the traditional system. 

If anything, I think it will be difficult to shake ourselves OUT of current ruts. I don’t expect much SO wildly outside-the-box that we make the funny pages up North. Change – and I do expect substantial, positive change – is likely to be evolutionary more than revolutionary. 

Hopefully it’s a LITTLE revolutionary, though?

Districts in sufficient proximity to one another could choose to work together in order to offer a greater array of options to their students. One might focus on STEM subjects and their real-world application in cooperation with local businesses or other institutions, while another combines arts programs from several schools to benefit from economies of scale. 

Bokachita High might offer a wider variety of AP courses than they could on their own, while Patumba Academy focuses on mechanical skills and FFA. These are just examples from my less-than-imaginative, old-schooled brain. I’m sure that districts given a little freedom would do much, much better. 

As to the potential for error, malice, or incompetence when granted such freedom, yes – stuff might happen. On the whole, however, I’ll trust a bunch of career educators who’ve stayed with their profession despite state abuse to make decisions about what’s best for kids over a bunch of career politicians who’ve done little to demonstrate similar priorities. 

The leadership of one district might be tempted to follow the path of least resistance, or place other priorities over the long-term good of students, but not five districts meeting together. Certainly not a dozen. 

I’m not saying we’re saints or martyrs, but we don’t get paid to bestow favors and we don’t get reelected based on our public posturing – given the choice, I’ll risk placing my faith in the educators. 

Irresponsibility

How do we judge the success or failure of a district or a collective? The resources currently devoted to standardized testing and those horrible companies would be redirected to a new branch of the State Department of Education in charge of communication with and feedback from universities, technical schools, and employers, both within and beyond state boundaries. 

They’d gather statistical and anecdotal feedback regarding how prepared students were for post-secondary education, employment, training, etc. They’d also do both short and long-term follow-up with randomly selected students to gage their perceptions of how prepared they were for college, career, life, etc. 

This is an imperfect process, made less so by limited resources, but as far as I know we don’t do anything at all like this under the current system. We just give this one multiple choice test in March, and… that’s it. That’s the summary of your entire educational experience, boiled down to a number. 

OK – that’s not fair. We give seven mutiple choice tests in March. THOSE are the summary of your entire educational experience, boiled down to seven numbers.

None of this is about tying this or that school district to one kid’s success or failure, but over a period of years we could accumulate some very useful feedback regarding the effectiveness of different things tried in various districts. All information would be made available to all districts for consideration in their collectives. I suppose the existing state tests could be available to districts as well, should they find internal value in administering them under whatever conditions they find appropriate. 

The more conservative elements of our state leadership are fond of talking about choice and competition in regards to public schools. If they mean it, they should be quite fond of a system giving so much choice to local districts. And while it’s not strictly ‘competition’, I’m not sure we want ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in our education system. We just need more flexibility figuring out what ‘winning’ looks like from place to place. 

We hear ‘accountability’ thrown around like a double-edged trump card every time talk of eliminating testing is broached. This setup includes plenty of accountability – the sort of professional oversight we like to think is common in medical or legal fields, as well as state-gathered feedback from universities and employers. 

You know all those times you’ve heard politicians talk about deregulating this or that industry so they’re free to create jobs and grow the economy and such? We need to tap into some of that libertarian fervor when it comes to state schools and tell the folks at the capitol to get out of the kitchen for a bit and let us cook. We promise, we’re taste-testing as we go. 

Fixing Education

The full potential of such a system is, like everything else, limited by funding. It’s more or less revenue-neutral, however, and if there are inherent flaws based on lack of resources, they can’t be much different or worse than those we face currently. In my unicorns and rainbows idealism, such a setup might encourage more participation on the part of state industries or those folks already dumping cash into #edreform – assuming they lack a specific agenda of their own in so doing. 

So turn us loose to really try to reach and teach our kids. We’ll hold one another’s feet to the fire, challenge and encourage and suggest and share. It’s not like the current system is working, and in almost every school in the state you’ll find teachers and administrators already bending and stretching and violating the rules as best they can to accommodate those in their care. Let us do it without having to pretend we’re not, and without so much resistance from people who’ve never met our kids. 

And if, in a decade, the industries and institutions to which you pay such deference are unhappy, then you’ll have your license to have your way with us – charters and virtuals, border to border, Pearson proudly stamped on every faux-ploma. 

Or… it might work. We might start finding better ways to help a wider variety of students not only graduate but go forth and prosper – in whatever way that might mean for them. The top can be toppier, the academic middle can be fished out of those cracks they’ve perpetually fallen into, and many, many more of those we’re currently losing altogether can find some reason and some pathway to make themselves useful economically and personally – contributing to the good of all instead of further draining what we have now. 

What, exactly, do we have to lose?

Impossible School

Impossible School

Welcome to Impossible School. I’m Blue, an adult in the building who apparently has enough time to show visitors around without sacrificing something far more useful I should be doing. That’s just the beginning of the many impossible things going on here at Impossible School! 

Let’s start with the foundation of our humble approach – the Possible Machine. I know, I know… the name sounds like a contradiction, but it’s this device which actually makes Impossible School, well… possible.

You’re familiar with pen and paper assessments, yes? (Sometimes they’re on computers, but that merely makes them more expensive – the substance is sadly the same.) Generally these ‘assessments’ make deeply flawed efforts to determine a student’s existing content knowledge. Sometimes they venture into the realm of hit’n’miss personality profiles or oversimplified learning styles. Rather ambitious for ‘Choose A, B, C, or D’, right?

The Possible Machine does this – properly – and much, much more. It allows faculty and staff critical insights into what each student needs in order to make a meaningful learning experience possible. We can, of course, never guarantee success no matter what we know or do, since student choice unfortunately remains a critical component of all education. But we CAN get SO MUCH closer to providing the best possible opportunities and pathways to each and every lil’ darling who crosses our threshold. 

Here, let’s slide into this classroom for a moment. That’s Ms. Lipsky over there, half-guiding that small circle discussion. These are kids who do best with personal interaction. They need the security that comes with structure, and they’ll read assigned material, but the information takes root and becomes meaningful when they have time to discuss it in a safe, somewhat organized environment. They’re capable of great things if they’re able to do this more often than a traditional classroom allows. 

See the young lady on the far right? She’s not saying much, is she? Normally that would be a red flag, but in her case – 

Oh! We’ve been asked to join in! Over half of the kids in this group were also identified by the Possible Machine as quite capable of professionally appropriate social skills – even at this grade level – if given a little guidance and opportunity. Consequently, they’ve been encouraged to take this sort of initiative.

No, thank you! We must continue the tour – but you’re doing great, kids!

Ah, here – Room 211. Mr. Zeller is giving a rather advanced lecture on the role of Calculus in AP Physics. You see we’re able to seat nearly 200 kids in this class, and have chosen an ‘auditorium’ style seating arrangement. Most of these students are on a self-selected Engineering track or other very #STEM sounding combinations of courses, and were identified easily and early as focused and self-driven. We have several assistants, of course, to provide individual or small group help, but you know the real challenge with this group?

Literature. They don’t naturally love literature. 

Oh, some dragon books and such, sure – but we had to use graphic novels just to build basic familiarity with the classics. We don’t bury them in it, of course, but everyone ought to know a little Jane Austen, don’t you think?

What’s that? The Purple Door? Of course we can. You’ll notice much smaller class size here, and a very relaxed dress code and casual seating arrangements. These students have a variety of needs and gifts, but what they have in common is a lack of intrinsic interest in academic subjects like math or history and varying levels of unsupportive or even chaotic home environments. 

Thanks to the Possible Machine, we were able to realize this immediately and set them up with teachers who, while quite qualified in their subject matter, are more about heart than head. They spend as much time on life skills as they do traditional content, and students are assessed for progress and effort rather than cut scores on state exams written by people who couldn’t on their best day so much as fathom their realities. Most of these kids need protein and access to mental health services more than they need a deeper understanding of the Progressive Era – ironic as that may seem. 

We do, of course, work on math and reading skills. The instructors are some of our most knowledgeable, but their focus is on stimulating interest and applying what’s learned towards successful living rather than simply punishing kids – however wrapped in fluffy platitudes – for their upbringing. 

Across the way here you see a classroom which at first glance looks similar – looser policies regarding dress and language, and a variety of seating options. These kids, however, are very motivated to do well, and consequently can be pushed much further in the cores and several extension topics which vary by semester. 

Pushed? Oh yes, I choose that word quite specifically. I said they were motivated, not intrinsically driven to truly learn. They come from families who care deeply about good grades and college prep and staying in just the right amount of activities. We don’t have to worry about these kids failing – the Possible Machine knew that from the moment they walked in the door.

The challenge with this group is actual learning. Sure, we have ‘grades’ as motivators, but Miss Benovidas and Mr. Carson have shown quite a gift for transitioning them into actual interest in the various subjects being taught. Under the old system, these kids would have been completely written off based on the numbers and letters they were able to secure by successfully gaming the system. We’d throw a few awards at them, give them an extra ribbon or two at graduation, and think we’d accomplished something as they went forth cynical and jaded, unable to see the wonders of string theory or appreciate the beauty of fractals as mathematical art. 

We’ve retained the outdated A-F labeling system, but only to smooth the transition. Miss B. and Mr. C. don’t measure their success or student progress by those silly letters; their challenge is to find ‘sparks’ in the eyes of these little darlings over something they didn’t think they could even care about – the Populist Movement, or the power of allegory in a great speech, for example. 

Thanks to the Possible Machine, we don’t insult students who come from educated, involved homes by dragging them through ‘financial literacy’ or ‘Constitution Day’, and we don’t unnecessarily traumatize them with ‘Sex Ed’ or hours of ‘how to calculate your GPA’. They can skip that and move into what their parents would call ‘real school’. 

On the other hand, we don’t neglect students who couldn’t otherwise ask essential questions about sex, or pregnancy, or health care. We’re able to identify those who couldn’t successfully watch an episode of The West Wing without more background knowledge, and those for whom the only pathway to success in science or math is through music and art. 

The Possible Machine confirms our instincts as to how many of our young ladies need to be told regularly that they’re strong, and beautiful, and smart, or that what happened to them wasn’t their fault – it wasn’t ever, ever, ever, in any way or by any definition – their fault. It points out the young men who seem fine, but who need someone to look them in the eye and ask how they’re doing several days a week, and the quiet ones who really are fine watching and listening and mostly staying… quiet. 

The Possible Machine tells us which kids need sports more than they need World History, and which kids will do better in World History if we use sports as leverage. It helps our teachers better intuit who to push, who to comfort, when to offer greater freedom and when to maintain the comfort and security of unyielding structure. 

We hear repeatedly that “all children can learn,” yes? And they can. Of course they can.

But they can’t all learn equally well in the exact same ways or on the same schedules. They can’t all move forward on the same tracks at the same speeds to hit the same checkpoints at the same time. That’s ludicrous. Imagine a public education system grounded on such an inane fallacy! Why, it would be mired in mediocrity for decades!

At Impossible School, all children can learn, and do so more widely and deeply than they could have imagined. At Impossible School, we build on the unique combinations of interests, strengths, and possibilities each child carries within them – and can reevaluate this yearly, monthly, or weekly if need be. 

We’re able to teach more than the ‘average’ student or the fictionalized ‘standard’ kid. Thanks to the Possible Machine, we’re able to figure out the intangibles of each student – each weird, wonderful, gifted, needy, broken, individualized student – and chart how they might best be stretched and realized intellectually, personally, and professionally. 

At Impossible School, we refuse to treat diversity as a disease only curable by standardization. 

Because it’s possible, somehow. It’s possible – for all of them. 

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