Looking Back (A Year Of Twitching & Twittering)

May 24, 2017July 31, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

So another year is concluded, and I’m once again doing my best to focus on things I might control, might impact, might get right from time to time. Clearly my game-changing influence on state politics didn’t turn out to be very impressive.

I thought by way of purging myself, though, I might look back and see how much carrying on I actually did on the topic of the Oklahoma Legislature this past year – and, um… well, it was a lot.

Here are some highlights by way of a couple of Twitter searches in several different formats. I’ve put stars – or, some kind of odd shapes – next to a few which I’ll be lording over the masses for some time to come.

Searching Teacher “Raises”:

I hadn’t realized I’d begun (began? beginned? begone?) using #OKLeg so far back, but apparently…

I had a little trouble retrieving just tweets from November 2016, right after the election, but found them in some Twitter Analytics feature which cuts off a few, but leaves enough to get the general idea.

Apparently, I was frustrated with the results…

I’m planning on putting more time and energy on BlueCerealEducation.net, which is coming together nicely, and hope to be distracted by getting used to my new job somewhere outside of Oklahoma soon.

But it’s impossible to know for sure how things will unfold, so these are just goals – not guarantees. Still, I’m trying in sharing this little recap to move past pointless efforts to impact this state politically, socially, or any other -ally, and to focus on things which are actually interesting or fulfilling – and which periodically prove useful to others as well.

You are loved and appreciated, my darlings. Just because you’re surrounded by bastards doesn’t mean you’re not absolutely golden. Walk in warmth, and keep your eyes open – no matter how much it hurts.

Changing Course

February 24, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 4 Comments

Sometimes you have to admit you’re not where you should be. Not doing what you wish you were doing. Or, if you are, it’s not working.

Blue Cereal spent the better part of 2016 desperately trying to impact state elections in a way that would promote public education. The “teacher caucus,” other pro-thinking-and-learning candidates, rational budget policies, and even a few state questions – completely out of my element and in over my head, I joined those of you trying desperately to wake up the rest of the household as the arsonists poured their gasoline and compared fancy lighters.

And, as you know, we lost.

Bigly.

Like, embarrassing, what-were-you-even-thinking lost. “F*** You!” lost. Why-the-hell-would-we-give-up-one-iota-of-twisted-ignorance-and-willful-destruction-it’s-worked-so-well-for-us lost.

You may have picked up on my bitterness.

So I announced my intention to get out of Oklahoma. I no longer feel like part of the solution, but part of the problem. Every time we take a deep breath and go back into the classroom to make the best of it, we’re saying “Hey, you know what? Keep doing what you’re doing up there. There will be NO consequences. NO downside for you or your fiscal overlords. We’ll cover for you as best we can, as long as we can.”

And I couldn’t anymore.

I don’t have a job yet, but I’m now certified in Indiana (yeah, I know – long story) and only lack returning some sort of fingerprint kit to Ohio (again – story). I hope to be gone in June, shortly after the legislative session ends, the fifteenth revenue failure is announced, and – big shocker, here – it’s finally clear that YOU’RE NOT GETTING A RAISE BECAUSE THE “BETTER PLAN” IS FOR YOU TO SHUT UP AND KEEP ENABLING THE ABUSE OF YOUR KIDS BY THOSE IN POWER.

After a week or two of licking our wounds last November, I fully intended to get back to the stuff I actually like writing about. History stuff. Teaching stuff. Some political issues or current events, sure – but mostly the kinds of things that let us all believe for brief, delusional moments that something we’re doing might make a positive difference.

Unlike, say… political advocacy. Calling your state legislators. Educating the public. Voting.

*sigh*

Like I said – there’s still some bitterness. And apparently I’m “whiney.”

That’s OK. Maybe I am sometimes. I’m not always fair (although I try to be), or balanced, or rational, or calm. Hell, I’m not even always right – I’ve had to backtrack on several individuals and issues once I had more information.

But I do try to be genuine. Every opinion, every commentary, every stupid question I ask – totes for realsies. The pomp and snark and vanity – all legit. And my eternal, internal struggle between tortured self-loathing and being a pompous ass finds a perfect metaphor in Tornado Country.

When the 2017 legislative session started, I knew better than to pay attention. This was no longer my fight. But no one else was keeping up with the weekly onslaught of bills and discussions and votes and inanity. So I broke down and started detailing agendas for various committees that deal with edu-slation. I started pouring through the language, trying to make sense of statutes and amendments and the striking of titles. Posts like that take longer to write than just about any other kind, and the analytics say very few people even read them.

Obviously. Because election results.

Besides, they’re no fun to write. I’ve established a decent rapport with several legislators, but other than that the hours invested leave me with little more than a dirty feeling inside and a sense that I’ve sold out after swearing this stuff off on November 9th.

So it’s time to reboot. Again. That’s also OK – this was never about getting everything right the first time or pretending I have a coherent plan. I have enough style and damn sexy swagger that a few course corrections won’t stifle the overall mojo. Still, I thought the #11FF deserved some explanation – which is what this is.

For anyone who cares. Which you do. I love that about us.

For the next few weeks, I’ll be revisiting and reposting a few favorites of mine from past years, and trying to add a few more bits to other sections of the website. I’d also like to get back to shining light on the amazing edu-bloggery going on in #OklaEd and beyond – some of it heralded, much of it un.

Those of you who care what the Oklahoma Legislature is doing to your profession and your kids are likely already following OKEducationTruths, A View From The Edge, and Fourth Generation Teacher. You should also be reading For The Love, This Teacher Sings, and Teaching From Here. If OK Education Journal is back to stay, you should add them to that list as well.

Anyone who cares about education or anything else of lasting value in Oklahoma should be subscribed to the Tulsa World, and maybe even The Oklahoman, despite their abysmal editorial board. Also essential are Oklahoma Watch, OK Policy Institute, and The Frontier. These last three are free, but they need your financial support anyway. You’d be surprised how much internal warm-fuzzy you get supporting quality local journalism, so suck it up.

One last thing…

I may not be the only one who should be changing course. Many of you have contacted me privately to tell me about the jobs you’re pursuing outside of public education, or in the classroom but outside of the state. I applaud you for drawing those lines and saying “No more. I will not be an enabler of a system which is willfully, intentionally bad for kids immediately and for everyone else sooner than they realize.”

For the rest of you – the ones who are still teaching in Oklahoma – please understand that I do not judge you for following your calling or recognizing your commitments to family or logistics or whatever keeps you here. We do what we gotta do – I get it and I love you.

But please consider doing something, even if it seems crazy at the moment.

Go ahead and update your resume – you know, just in case something unexpected comes up. Take an hour or two over the weekend, then set aside a few days during Spring Break to pick a few states. Google their departments of education. Look for databases of job openings for which you may be at least partly qualified.

Talk to your spouse, or family, or besties, about options – you know, if you were to move. I’m not suggesting you turn in your keys with nowhere to go, just that you look at a few options. Just to be informed.

What would it take to get certified elsewhere? It might even be worth a few bucks to submit those forms, take those tests, just to know you have actual options come April. Don’t sell your house just yet – but maybe contact your realtor and ask what he or she thinks it’s worth these days.

It’s just preparation. Information. Foundation. In case you decide to change course. Keep in mind that kids in THOSE schools and THOSE states need a good teacher who knows their subject and cares about their lives ALSO. There’s no shortage of fields ripe for the harvest – you don’t have to stay on THIS plantation.

You’re not abandoning your calling if you do it somewhere else while forcing positive change here. And you’re not helping your kids by enabling the state to keep going the direction it’s going while you cover for them more and more each year, desperately wishing that THIS time you could explain to them why it matters or THIS time you’ll change them with your love or THIS time you’ll vote them out even though you know you won’t, you can’t, and that no matter how many signs you paint or how many chants you chant, the only real consequences being experienced are by you, and by your kids, because you’ll just keep trying to make it work so that they can just keep trying to make it not.

And they have all the money and power and popular support, because no one else sees it anymore except you and me, babe.

I’m still here, and I still adore you. But I’m changing course.

What about you?

#OklaEd Chat (2/19/17)

February 16, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 1 Comment

Blue Cereal moderates the #OklaEd Sunday Night Chat February 19th, 2017!

Here’s a preview of the anticipated prompts…

Blue Serials (2/8/17)

February 8, 2017July 31, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

I haven’t been doing the weekly wrap-ups recently. I’m never quite sure whether anyone reads them, despite the consistently high quality of the goodies within!

But there’s simply been TOO MUCH quality edu-bloggery lately not to compile it and celebrate a bit. If you’ve been busy, or distracted by national shenanigans, or tuned out after the elections, this might be a good time to tune back in for a bit.

Because it’s February, and it’s starting.

Here’s what you simply SHOULD NOT HAVE MISSED recently from #OklaEd’s best thinkers, explainers, and ranters. God, I love these people and that… stuff they do with the words and point-making and such. It’s glorious.

Oklahoma Definitely Deserves Better – Rick Cobb, OKEducationTruths. #OklaEd

Cobb has never pulled punches, and there’s no indication he’ll be getting less grumpy anytime soon. After being accused of thuggery and non-existent bad behavior and banned from a school choice event a few weeks ago, he’s turned his sights to the new legislative session and the so-called “better plan” that was so trendy as a tool to crush SQ779 last November.

“You can peruse the list of donors who contributed this money (all between October 1 and December 31 of 2016). If you know any of these people (or work for any of the companies that contributed), maybe you can ask them about that better plan. I’d love to hear it.”

Yeah, wouldn’t we all. I’m pretty sure it’s a very concise plan, probably consisting of no more than two words directed towards teachers across the state. The first begins with ‘F’, the second with ‘Y’.

Peruse Cobb on the Twitters and see what else is on his mind. He’s the foundational source of all things #OklaEd and their implications.

Past, Future, and Present – Meghan Loyd, For The Love. #OklaEd

“The past two weeks have been the worst in my teaching career. I have worked crazy long hours, and then I come home and cry over it… I have allowed my emotional needs and hurt negatively impact my students. I want to build a positive culture, and I have done nothing of the sorts.

Then my college professor posted this on Facebook…”

Loyd waxes raw on the power of transparency, community, and encouragement. Loyd is our go-to unicorns and rainbows supplier on #oklaed, but she’s been wounded this year. Doubting. Angry. What she refuses to be is afraid, or silent. For the love, she keeps putting it out there.

Follow her on the Twitters and give a little of it back to her, but with donuts. She does still crave herself some donuts.

How The Chamber Killed Teacher Raises – Mindy Dennison, This Teacher Sings. #OklaEd

Dennison is done messing around. In this post, as with last week’s Better Find Someone To Blame, she’s calling out people and organizations by name and daring them to correct her.

“They solicited and spent almost a million dollars to deny my family a $5,000 raise, and simultaneously endangered the quality of education for 700,000 school children by contributing to the mass exodus of our teachers. If I had to guess how much money they throw into a campaign for their “better plan”, my guess is somewhere between $0 and $0.”

Hey, I’m on her side. Even if I weren’t though, I’d think twice before trying to play rhetorical games with her again.

Follow her on the Twitters and see what else she’s had enough of.

An Open Letter to Prospective Teachers – Rob Miller, A View From The Edge. #OklaEd

Seems like we should finish with some positives, doesn’t it? And that’s what this is, despite one of my favorite openings of the entire realm:

“If you are a young person just entering college, or perhaps a millennial or Gen X-er looking for a career change, you should definitely not consider a career as a public school teacher. Seriously, don’t do it.

Wasting your potential as a classroom teacher is a really bad idea. Do something else. Anything else.”

Not that Miller has been stuck on his own unicorn farm lately. He’s tackled some of the inane rhetoric of our own legislators and written numerous posts about the Trump Administration and the atrocity that is DeVos.

Fortunately, though, he’s still pretty good at finding those reasons to push on – or up, as the case may be. I hope whatever else happens, they don’t beat that out of him anytime soon.

Find Miller on the Twitters and see what else he’s pushing.

Books To Read As We Survive Trying Times – Claudia Swisher, Fourth Generation Teacher. #OklaEd

“I recently saw an observation that when Barack Obama was elected, sales of guns spiked… and now with the election of Donald Trump, we are seeing a resurgence in the sale of books. As a Reading for Pleasure teacher, I find that fascinating… and hopeful.”

Swisher presents the first of four lists of recommended reading for the days ahead. And belief that it can matter.

You gotta love that.

Find Swisher on the Twitters and let her know what YOU’RE reading to get through. Be careful, though – she’ll probably encourage you and stuff.

Alright my darlings, that’s it for this Special Edition of Blue Serials.

I’d tell you things are going to be OK, but I don’t know if that’s true. I’d tell you we can turn this around, but I don’t know if that’s true, either.

What I can tell you is that you are some of the best this fallen world has to offer. You are noble and funny and gracious and kind. Smarter than you think you are and mattering more than the ugly ones will admit.

Fight well, and in love and light. That’s the only kind of fight worth winning in the end.

Mo Money Mo Problems: House Bills 1400 and 1401 (Guest Post: Rep. John Montgomery, HD62)

January 29, 2017July 31, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

NOTE: Rep. John Montgomery was elected to represent HD-62 (Comanche, think “West of Lawton”) in 2014 and re-elected this past November. I consider him a friend to #oklaed and a decent guy all ’round. He’s also unexpectedly amusing when he’s mocking me privately on social media. Like, he’s REALLY good at it. That’s rare.

Not the mocking part – I get that a LOT. But being good at it – THAT’S a gift.

When I started my recent post on positive potential legislation sitting in the OK Legislative queue recently, I reached out to him along with several other legislators asking what I might be overlooking. Rep. Montgomery brought up the bills he’s discussing here, and explained them to me as clearly as could be expected one Twitter app to another. But I know my strengths, and economics-made-easy isn’t among them. I half-jokingly suggested he should just write a guest blog explaining it instead.

And he did.

I very much appreciate him taking the time to share this information and explanation here. I wish more of our elected leaders would be so communicative.

While I cannot endorse all of the messages Notorious B.I.G. puts out there, the name of this song seems fitting to a discussion on state finances. The underlying wisdom seems to hold true elsewhere: more than a few articles have been written pointing out that up to a third of lottery winners end up declaring bankruptcy.

I wish I could make a blog post about state finance more exciting. Nobody likes talking about checkbook balancing, or for the hip young readers out there, paying your bills with Venmo or Google Wallet. No, we cannot just pop open a GoFundMe and plug our budget holes, and yes I have tried.

Much like those lottery winners, Oklahoma has also in a way won the economics equivalent of the winning numbers by way of our oil and gas resources. Unfortunately, we as as a state have similar problems to many winners – just one a larger scale. Mental health, divorce, tensions with others, and… trouble keeping our finances in order. The Economist has written rather extensively on what could be termed the “resource curse.”

In my humble opinion, it is time we turned our Achilles heel into our greatest blessing.

Fortunately, there is a way to insure permanent investments into education and put ourselves in an incredible position if we make the long-term commitment. I realize in a day and age when some folks my age are setting up dates at the swipe of a screen, that “long term” might be somewhat of a foreign concept for some. However, if you talk to more than a handful of my constituents and I suspect many Oklahomans, a long-term plan and vision is what they want most out of state government and other community leaders.

For the better part of two years, I have been watching and analyzing how our revenue streams function, as well as considering what other states (or countries) do that might make an improvement for Oklahomans. One idea is to set up a permanent fund or an endowment or two that would take in some level of revenue and grow large enough that interest from the fund can replace or eliminate our reliance on volatile revenue sources, as well as help stabilize the way we approach other revenue as well. Ideally, this would have a tangential effect of unleashing the spirit and ingenuity of Oklahomans.

“Whoa whoa whoa now, don’t hurt yourself, Mr. Big Talk,” I can almost hear you saying. “We’re on to you legislator types and your fancy-but-often-bewildering plans!”

Backing it up a bit, if we carry our personal finance analogy forward, we could say that we need to plan for retirement primarily from our oil and gas tax revenue, but secondarily from other potential tax sources. You know, diversify.

If I had a dollar every time I heard, read, and said “we need to diversify our state economy,” this discussion would be unnecessary because the state would be LOADED. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

Another problem with “diversify our state economy,” is that there is no big red “that was easy” button we can push and all of the diversity happens. Many very intelligent, caring, and tireless legislators and community leaders before me have made significant efforts in this direction – and with a high degree of success. Contrary to what many might believe, this most recent downturn could have been much worse for many Oklahomans.

The State Chamber of Oklahoma estimates that the oil and gas industry makes up roughly 13-15% of our state economy. However, state government reliance on tax revenue from the oil and gas industry can reach as high as 25% of state revenue.

Houston, we have a problem.

If you want us to try to take the bumps out of that chart above, I would refer you to HB2763 from last year. Fortunately, 2763 passed and we will stabilize that revenue in future years. http://www.oklegislature.gov/BillInfo.aspx?Bill=HB2763&Session=1600

If you think we also need a long-term vision and plan, then keep reading.

Fortunately for us, many states and several countries have trail-blazed the idea of saving sizeable amounts of what may not be an indefinite source of revenue and using the interest earned from investments, equities, real estate, etc., as revenue. Many countries like Norway, almost every country on the Arabian Peninsula that can pull oil from the sand with a straw, and most recently Israel, have set up a savings plan like this. Norway is sitting on just shy of $1 trillion in their fund, depending on which way the markets are going and if there’s a notion of divesting from the latest company to militarize farts. Saudi Arabia has been eating some of its $700 billionish fund in its global War on Fracking.

In the United States, 8 of the 9 states that rely heavily on oil or gas severance/gross production taxes have a permanent fund, endowment, or major savings plan for that revenue. I would not be writing this if Oklahoma were one of those 8.

North Dakota has become probably the most famous and envied. Voters there approved setting aside 30% of their oil and gas revenue into a Legacy Fund in 2010. That fund has grown to over $4 billion due to an oil production explosion of literally ten-fold over the past decade (compared to doubling in Oklahoma). They also set aside 5% of the revenue into an education endowment which has been growing since the late 1990s. The interest from the fund goes to schools, and thus it’s not hard to see how the ten-fold production increase translated to double digit education spending increases there.

They did not establish how the Legacy Fund would be used, which has caused some debate given the energy downturn. The state spent its $750 million rainy day fund to shore up against what we have called “revenue failure” here: that spending was coupled with a 3-4% across the board cut as well. This next two-year budget does not look much better for them either.

The state that has not received much attention in this regard is Alaska. 90% of state revenue there comes from the energy industry, so they were talking about $3-4 billion shortfalls most recently. However, they are also sitting on a $50 billion Permanent Fund that is used to generate interest and kick out a couple grand to each man, woman, and child in the state. They, by the way, have a $10 billion Rainy Day Fund that they technically owe $3-4 billion to because paying the fund back is required. There are some hot debates going on in that state over budget too of course, but the difference of position they are in financially is not by any accident

We should take what these other places have done, and put Oklahoma at the forefront of state financial dynamism. This year, I have introduced HB1400 and HB1401 to do just that.

HB1401 is primarily geared toward what I have spent most of this post talking about doing: setting aside a significant part of our oil and gas gross production tax revenue into what would be called the Legacy Fund. 20% of future revenue would be dedicated in this way. The fund would have subfunds for common education and higher education, who currently receive up to roughly the first $145 million of this revenue (which has actually caused some issues in the most recent downturn, but that’s a different topic). That would be directed into endowments that would become large enough that modest investment earnings could replace that revenue, permanently within about 10-12 years. Ideally, we would continue putting some part into these sub endowments after then, and can redirect another part of the funding either for more savings or bolstering current spending at the time.

HB1400 establishes a Vision Fund. It is aimed toward a position Alaska finds itself in: not levying the traditional, major state level taxes on income and sales. Once fully implemented, Oklahoma would be perhaps the second state to be in a position to eliminate a major tax source while providing a potent source of funding for education, research and development, and a group that was created after the 1980s oil bust called Oklahoma Center for Science and Technology (OCAST) – a group whose basic mission is the diversification of our state’s economy. We will build this fund through a structure in our state budget process which ends up leaving cash on the table to be appropriated, in addition to taking in a crude version of what could be called “micro-financing” where we will take a barely noticeable fraction of revenue each year and set it aside.

This plan will require a high degree of resolve, and it likely requires shielding from short term whims and thinking that have held our state back. We must rally behind a Vision or we leave no Legacy. Let’s not throw away our shot.

Bills, Bills, Bills (Silver Lining Edition)

January 26, 2017June 27, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

I’m not known for the sunshine I spread or my rainbow-themed unicorn farm. I’m surrounded by edu-bloggers in Oklahoma and beyond who are both smarter and more experienced than myself, and I’m under no illusions about the role I play.

But I do believe in being pragmatic. Having spent most of 2016 burning energy I didn’t have promoting the so-called ‘Teacher Caucus’ and related issues in #OKElections16, and having had slightly less than zero impact (the pro-education newbies who won were the handful I’d never gotten around to writing about), I’d like to try to find approaches that might, you know… work. Or at the very least, play against type – like Daniel Radcliffe.

I don’t want to be naked horse guy, though – but it’s like I’ve been naked horse guy and now I want to be a wizard…

This has gone way off course, hasn’t it?

The 2017 Oklahoma Legislature officially convenes on February 6th. The rules vary between houses, but for the most part bills have to be submitted a couple of weeks ahead of time.

Which is now.

Should you go poking around on oklegislature.gov or openstates.org/ok, you’ll discover a wide variety of bills and resolutions and thinly veiled cries for help. A few warnings should you decide to venture forth unprepared…

“Shell Bills” are a thing. Because State Representatives have to submit bills ahead of time, and have a limited number allowed, it’s not uncommon for them to throw together something filled with essentially meaningless language as a placeholder of sorts. Sometimes these end up being fleshed out with details related to their working title, other times they simply wither on the statutory vine. Occasionally they end up being bills about entirely different things altogether. It’s a misleading quirk of the system.

Every year brings a ridiculous number of bills fetishizing guns, proposing draconian punishments for abortion, fighting back against perceived abuses by the federal government, etc. Most of these never make it through a committee – they’re just there so demagogues can appease angry and/or ignorant voters in their respective districts. These are sometimes referred to as “red meat” bills.

Bills aren’t automatically put before the entire House or Senate. Some die right there in their sponsor’s arms, like buried flowers. Others are assigned to a related committee, where they may or may not be discussed, may or may not be approved, and may or may not continue their journey “I’m Just A Bill” style. House versions are reconciled with Senate versions, etc., until a small handful go to the Governor to sign – or not.

Just because something’s listed here doesn’t mean it’s going to be a thing. Don’t get your hopes up or expect your legislator to have the slightest idea what you’re talking about should you call and ask them to support one of these.

And yet, that’s largely why I’ve gathered them here – so you can call, and email, and bring them up at meetings. So we can have things to support and not just things to oppose. So we can bring solutions and not just –

Oh god, maybe I DO have a unicorn farm. Is that Celine Dion playing in the background? Has Meghan Loyd hacked my account?!

Whatever my frustrations – and they are legion – I think we can do a better job this session of starting off positive. Of demonstrating that we can be informed and rational and not all racist thugs like Rick Cobb.

Sorry – inside joke. Rick is not a racist thug. See, what happened was…

I’m off course again. Sorry. Legislation is boring.

Here are a few things worth looking at, asking about, and possibly promoting as we march boldly into the fray. Please feel free to add anything I’ve overlooked in the comments, or email me. Heck, write a guest blog about some of them if you like.

Light is all we have.

Pay Raise Bills

The Tulsa World recently did a nice slideshow highlighting some bills which caught their attention, including a variety of teacher raise proposals. Because I’m still rather skeptical of the chances of ANY of these passing, I’ll just share the highlights here:

HB 1115 – Representative Avery Frix (R), HD 13

This would prohibit the state legislature from passing new mandates on public schools unless they’re willing to fund them as well. Crazy kid – clearly Frix is new here!

HB 1279 – Representative Jason Dunnington (D), HD88

This would return income tax rates to what they were a little over a decade ago for the state’s highest earners. It would also remove the Oklahoma Capital Gains Deduction which was enacted in 2004 and benefits the top sliver of Oklahoma’s wealthiest almost exclusively.

Dunnington argues this would generate more than $500 million in recurring revenue – recurring revenue, not the kind you get by selling grandma’s car at the auction. He’s quick to mention teacher pay as something that revenue might be useful to fund.

It strikes me as a long-shot – it will be smeared as a “tax increase” – but for the first time in a while, legis seem to be talking seriously about meaningful ways to get un-broke, so who knows? Two of the bill’s three sections simply close existing tax loopholes – and that’s something we all at least claim to support.

In any case, this is a good one to get behind and call YOUR representative in support of.

HB 1351 – Representative Monroe Nichols (D), HD72

Currently, the Oklahoma Higher Learning Access Program (aka “Oklahoma’s Promise”) helps pay for college for students who meet basic requirements in High School and who fall below a certain income level. There’s an exception made for military families (who tend to move around a great deal) – their kids qualify regardless. This would add a similar exception for teachers’ kids.

It would be a simple, almost revenue-neutral way to show some love to educators. I’m just saying.

HB 1352 – Representative Monroe Nichols (D), HD72

Since 2011, Oklahoma has had the “Oklahoma Equal Opportunity Education Scholarship Act.” Essentially this allows individuals or businesses to donate money to a ‘scholarship fund’ which is disbursed as a sort of voucher (i.e., “scholarship”) to parents who’d like their child in private school. These individuals and businesses get a substantial tax break on moneys so donated.

This bill would add the option of donating money under similar conditions with the same limits and tax benefits to an endowment to fund the salaries of public school teachers. I’m not clear on how this works in terms of disbursement, but the idea amuses me to no end. It’s brilliant.

HB 1760 – Representative Katie Henke (R), HD71

Students in Kindergarten through Third Grade are monitored regularly for reading proficiency. Students in Third Grade take a reading exam (often referenced as the RSA – Reading Sufficiency Act) to determine whether or not they’ll advance to Fourth Grade.

Currently, students who do not pass this exam are not automatically promoted to Fourth Grade. A small team of the child’s parent(s), teacher, and a school reading specialist or similar professional meet to decide whether it makes more sense to retain the child another year or move them to Fourth Grade with additional reading support. The idea is that some kids just need more time to marinate where they are, while others should progress but with increased support.

This compromise ends this year and retention could become mandatory (no discretion left to the parents and teachers) unless this or something like it passes this session.

This bill is very similar to HB 2158 sponsored by Representative Jadine Nollan (R), HD66, and SB 123 sponsored by Senator J.J. Dossett (D), SD34. That’s neither unusual nor bad; it suggests widespread interest in making this happen. They can work out any minor differences once things are rolling.

HB 2154 – Representative Jadine Nollan (R) – HD66

This would continue altering the rubrics and algorithms of the Oklahoma A-F School Shaming System. It has lots of words in it and bunches of stuff in current law which it would cut, so I make no promises about my full understanding, but the gist of it seems to be to dial back the more abusive elements of A-F, citing the flexibility allowed by the ESSA.

It retains the A-F report itself, which I despise, but the innards seem to be gradually reworked in order to make the package less loathsome. I’d speculate this is a pragmatic compromise on the part of pro-education leadership with those who simply insist on looking tough on those damn teachers. The fact that no one will go on record with me to confirm this pretty much convinces me that’s the case. But, that’s just me – speculating.

HB 2158 – Representative Jadine Nollan (R), HD66

See HB 1760 above.

SB 2 – Senator J.J. Dossett (D) – SD34

This eliminates the U.S. History state test currently required of all high school students in Oklahoma. Now, we all know what’s going to happen. We cry out that there’s too much testing and it doesn’t do what proponents claim it does and why can’t we have fewer tests OMG OMG OMG! Then, someone suggests eliminating a test from the pantheon and we panic in reverse – ARE YOU SAYING MY SUBJECT ISN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO TEST?! WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!

This doesn’t remove U.S. History from the “stuff schools are required to teach” pile. Like Oklahoma History and American Government, it’s still a requirement – just not a state test. Calm the hell down.

On a side note, I think this one has at least some potential to erupt into the most fascinating patriotism-pissing contest if someone decides to go after it as anti-American or some such nonsense. Not saying it will – certainly not suggesting it should – but we have a weird relationship with history in this state. We don’t like it really, but we like it in theory and want to pretend we care about it deeply. It’s our arm-candy third wife, as it were.

SB 9 – Senator J.J. Dossett (D) – SD34

This would eliminate the straight-party voting option from Oklahoma ballots. That’s not directly related to public education, but it would do education a huge favor if voters were expected to at least look at the names before them and consider whether or not they know anything about that person’s positions or record before checking that box.

I know taking ten minutes to get informed before voting sucks, but we can try.

Voters elected and re-elected by substantial margins legislators openly hostile to public education in November 2016. They then turned around and told pollsters that their NUMBER ONE CONCERN for the upcoming legislature is supporting public education. They’re either lying or ignorant. I assume they’re lying – they want to sound like good people when polled, so they pretend they give a damn. This bill presumes they’re merely ignorant, and don’t see the connection. It doesn’t promise they won’t still vote straight ticket, but they have to take a few more tiny steps suggesting they mean it.

SB 123 – Senator J.J. Dossett (D) – SD34

See HB 1760 above.

SB 124 – Senator J.J. Dossett (D) – SD34

This would prohibit public money from being used, directly or indirectly, to support private schools (w/ the Lindsey Nicole Henry Scholarships for Students with Disabilities being a specific exception). This is obviously an effort to erect a roadblock to future voucher bills, and difficult to argue with it as a matter of principle.

SJR 32 – Senator J.J. Dossett (D) – SD34

This would put to a vote of the people a change in the Oklahoma Constitution which would require appropriates for public education to be made separately from general appropriations, and first. Man, give a guy an unexpected special election win and a year later he’s getting all saucy!

I’m sure there are some I’ve missed, and I know there are several I didn’t miss but am not sure how to explain (since I barely understand them myself). Feel free to add those you come across in the Comments below.

I’m still skeptical anything good is coming, but that doesn’t change our obligation to try. Be prepared, be firm but polite, and for golly gosh jeepers – BE INVOLVED.

Stupid, Lazy Third Graders

January 19, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

Watching bits and pieces of the DeVos confirmation hearings this past week, I couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic. While most semi-rational viewers were wondering how one could even consider putting someone in charge of education who understands so little about it, openly despises those involved in it, and shows no interest in learning more (and who will certainly not tolerate informed dissent), those of us in #OklaEd were wondering how it took the rest of the country so long to try it.

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Ah, Janet. How we’ve missed thee. What was that cute thing you used to always say…?

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That’s it! Ha – I love that one. “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” “Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose!” “In 4th Grade Kids Stop Learning To Read and Start Reading to Learn.” LOLZ.

Don’t Raise Teacher Pay (To Be Nice)

January 18, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 1 Comment

The stories are everywhere.

Ms. Lovesmore buying school supplies for her elementary classroom, trying to offset all those cruel state budget cuts. Mr. Marderman working three part-time jobs to supplement his pitiful teacher pay. The tears. The caring. And the children – Oh! The Children!

And I get it. Lots of teachers are rather devoted folks. Many of them do make sacrifices to help their kids, or simply to stay in the profession. I’m not trivializing the commitment.

But these mini-Passion Plays feed the wrong narrative about public educators and funding – particularly teacher pay. We might as well have Sally Struthers stand weeping in front of a naked math instructor, sadly scooping gruel from his bowl while flies buzz around a distended belly.

We shouldn’t tolerate the implication we’re somehow looking for charity; we’re not. It’s unbecoming to play on sympathy, especially when we’re not the only profession getting shortchanged at the moment. Besides, pity or warm toasties are horrible reasons to raise teacher pay or increase school funding. They’re emotionally driven, unreliable, and fundamentally inaccurate.

Public schools aren’t businesses, nor should they be. You’ll hear that a lot in the upcoming voucher battles, and it’s entirely true. But neither are we charities, or churches, or some type of third world profession. We’re not asking for handouts or love offerings while Sarah McLachlan plays in the background.

Nevertheless, teacher pay needs to go up substantially, and soon – but not for me. It needs to go up for you. And your kids. And your pocketbook. And your state.

A decent public education system is an essential function of civilization. We’re a fundamental element in the social contract that allows people to live together in relative peace, to specialize, to become more productive, and to progress artistically, culturally, medically, financially, and lots of other –allys.

Life in a state of nature is nasty, brutish, and short. It’s perpetual anarchy. All that “freedom” the far right keeps fetishizing to justify their horrible leadership? Yeah, you have that in a state of nature. The only trick is that you have to defend it all by yourself with your big rock in one hand and your pointy stick in the other.

Go to sleep and you might wake up with nothing. Encounter someone stronger or faster than you and you could die. There will be no Netflix binging or iPhone12 – not even an Applebee’s. Just you and your dead squirrel trying to stay hidden until the rustling in the distance fades away.

At some point this gets old. You somehow manage to coordinate with a half-dozen other free souls to work out an agreement – two of you will stay awake and stand guard, one of you will cook, another will explore. Maybe you bring in someone not so handy with pointy sticks but pretty good at making more comfortable shoes – that’s someone worth feeding. Later you find a pretty girl who can sing kinda nice, so you feed and protect her because… art.

No one joins out of pity for the guy making shoes or guilt over the girl who can sing. They join because they like comfortable shoes and good music and not getting killed by someone else’s pointy stick.

That’s called the “social contract.” My contributions may help you – and that’s great. It’s why you let me in. But that’s not why I’m doing it. I’m doing it because what benefits each of us benefits all of us; and what benefits all of us benefits ME.

For the social contract to function, each person involved has to give up some of their individual freedom – some stand guard during long nights even when they’re tired, others cook for larger groups than is always convenient. There was an issue one evening over who got to sit next to the singing girl, but the perpetrators decided it was more important to keep sharing that squirrel stew and sleeping in the warm cave, so they worked out a compromise.

This time.

Stuff like that is why you agree on a few written laws and protections to improve – not hinder – your growth, happiness, and well-being. They allow you to keep growing, and diversifying, and prospering, and being of mutual use to one another.

Which, ironically, is where it gets tricky.

Eventually it gets difficult to remember exactly WHY you were giving up so much of your own convenience, or contributing so many of your gifts and resources to the whole when it seems like you ask so little in return. The social contract has been so successful that we forget how eager we were to share that squirrel if it meant sleeping securely – how many extra shoes we’d contribute if it meant more people learned to sing like that.

Most of us understand why we want a fire department, even if we’ve never had to call them. We might not have supported that bond issue to re-imagine our downtown, but we at least see all the restaurants and clubs and shopping that sprang up a year later.

But why should YOU support a teacher raise? Why should YOU demand better support for public education in general? What do YOU get out of this part of the social contract?

I humbly offer a few possibilities…

Do it so you’ll have better teachers. Yes, it’s a “calling” – but so are many careers, and Economics 101 tells us that better pay means more people pursuing it. That means competition for positions (something we currently have the opposite of), better hires, higher expectations, and better results. In turn, that raises the culture of the profession, which leads to more people pursuing it, etc.

Do it so we’ll have fewer folks on public assistance or in jail. This one will take a few years, but the numbers are solid – stronger public education system means less of that other stuff. In turn that means lower taxes for you (or at least taxes spent on better things). Teach a man to fish…

Do it for the economy. Students who are challenged and encouraged by good teachers in a variety of subjects and surrounded by a diverse group of peers are better equipped to function in an increasingly complicated world. They make better businessmen, better entrepreneurs, better employees, better communicators, and better consumers.

Do it so the people around you will be less annoying. No school system can promise you 100% witty, thoughtful, and warm graduates, but it can damn sure shift the balance. A well-managed and legitimately supported public school system means more informed voters and conversationalists, more creative and self-driven colleagues and employees, and fewer people messing up your order at Taco Bueno.

Do it because all those kids have to be SOMEWHERE during the day. You can embrace vouchers, push charters and private and virtual and homeschooling all you like, but hundreds of thousands of teens and pre-teens are still going to end up in public schools, or nowhere at all. We can try to educate them, form work camps and use them as labor, lock them up, mass execute them, or leave them to their own devices all day every day and hope for the best. What would you choose?

Do it because we’ll take the colorful kids, the disabled kids, the kids who don’t speak English, the kids who have weird emotional issues, and the kids who come with twelve-page federally mandated Individual Education Plans. Those “undesirable” types you’re desperately trying to get your kids away from (see ‘vouchers’ above) won’t magically vanish just because we start subsidizing Hunter’s year at Science-Free Academy for the Straight and Prosperous. You want someone to take responsibility for your cast-offs and shape most of them into productive, hopefully-not-deeply-bitter humans? Pay up.

Do it so you can complain more without sounding like a complete jerk. Browbeating educators in Oklahoma is popular sport currently, but you’re automatically an a-hole for doing it (whether elected or not). It’s like throwing shade at South American missionaries for not eliminating the heat and flies. You’re welcome to complain, but… seriously? Pay teachers a meaningful wage and you can write more belittling editorials and pass more counterproductive laws AND get away with it.

Do it so other states have one less thing to mock us about. We somehow manage to make Arkansas look politically sophisticated and Texas seem passionately committed to the well-being and enlightenment of all children. TEXAS! We repeatedly elect Islamophobic conspiracy theorists, gun-fetishists, and legislators who say things like “if we’ll legislate the morality, God will take care of the economy.” It’s rather glaringly obvious to anyone looking our direction why we don’t want our kids to be better educated – they’d start to notice this kind of nonsense and be horrified by it. Start acting like you value public education and maybe we can all turn against New Mexico together or something.

Do it because of what it says about us as a people. That we value the right things, and that our ideologies can withstand an at-least-partially-educated populace. That we have vision, and some understanding how civilization works – or doesn’t. That it’s the “American” ideal – the foundation of democracy. And if providing that support, and investing in that ideal, also makes you look like “good” people, well… bonus.

But don’t do it out of guilt, or pity. Don’t do it because you feel bad for me. Do it because you’re selfish and demanding, and expect more of your community. Because you know it can work better. Do it so you’ll come out ahead in the social contract.

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I’ll Support Vouchers If You’ll Support Parent Choice (Repost)

January 12, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

{Note: This is a slightly edited and updated version of something posted several months ago. The original is here if for some reason you care.}

I think it’s a shame the way so many voucher proponents are so staunchly against parent choice.

Oh, I know they fling these two words about a great deal, but they contradict themselves repeatedly in their proposals. And I, for one, think it’s time we call them out on it.

For those of you who haven’t kept up with the conflict, vouchers are a means by which parents would be given a percentage of the per-pupil funding otherwise going to their local public school on behalf of their child in order to use that money at a comparable educational institution of their choosing. The schools would lose a percentage of the money they’re allotted per student, the argument goes, but they’d also have one less student to serve – thus reducing the cost of bussing, heating and air, teacher salaries, food service, nursing, administration, grounds care, building maintenance, technology, and classroom supplies.

They can buy the box of 24 colored pencils instead of splurging for the 32. It’s win-win, except for lovers of ‘burnt orange’.

It’s not so different than choosing to call a limousine service because you don’t want to take the bus. Busses are crowded and dirty, while limos have little plastic champagne glasses and –

Actually, I have no idea what limos have. Just seems like there’d be little plastic champagne glasses.

In any case, you could argue that it’s only fair to ask the city for your share of whatever they spend on busses in order to offset the cost of your limo. And the bus has no room to complain – think of all the gas it will save without you adding to its weight. Heck, they’re probably coming out ahead every time someone leaves and takes those public dollars with them!

Or so the argument goes.

Opponents of vouchers are repeatedly accused of being against “parent choice,” when nothing could be further from the truth. I wholeheartedly support the right of every parent to homeschool, or send their child to a private school – religious or otherwise – or to seek out online options, or whatever else they see fit. And in Oklahoma, they already have and always will have those options, fully protected by both popular opinion and explicit legislation.

The only point of dispute is whether or not public tax dollars will be used to assist these parents in their endeavors. That’s a perfectly reasonable debate to have.

Voucher supporters argue that the money belongs to the student or the parents, to be used for whatever they think best for their child. Opponents counter that public money belongs, once collected, to the public, to be used for whatever is determined to be best for the community.

Voucher supporters argue that schools need competition and tougher oversight to improve, while opponents counter that schools are not businesses, their goals are not profits, and their kids are not products – they need support if they are to improve.

But the most flyer-friendly, talking-point-ready argument from voucher supporters is the one built on that term – “parent choice.” So, if we must have this discussion yet again, let’s at least make sure the term actually means something.

If we institute vouchers, all participating institutions should be required to accept every student who applies. If they accept any vouchers, they should be required to accept all vouchers. Otherwise, that’s not parent choice. Let’s make it a fact as well as a talking point. Whatever their child’s special needs, academic ability, personality traits, behavior issues, background, race, religion, or sexuality, we’re told parents know what’s best for their child and should be given the freedom to make that happen. So let’s do.

If we institute vouchers, no participating institution should be allowed to charge parents one dollar above and beyond the value of the voucher. Otherwise, that’s not parent choice. I realize this may prove a hardship for some schools, who already run on a rather tight budget. But surely this is easily addressed by simply identifying waste and abuse. Parents are already pouring huge amounts of money into these places – it’s obviously just not being used efficiently.

I’m sure the various sectarian and other private schools in the state could cut back on administrative costs. Perhaps several of them could be consolidated. How many principals, counselors, and secretaries could they need? A three-day week would do wonders for the bottom line, and the weather is so nice this time of year – why keep running all that artificial air conditioning? Open a window, like we did when we were kids!

If we institute vouchers, all participating institutions should be expected to provide supplies and equipment for any extra-curricular activities offered by the school. Art supplies. Uniforms. Band instruments. Otherwise, it’s not really parent choice. We’ll also need to talk about breakfast, lunch, and of course transportation to and from school. Additional reading or math tutoring as required. If a school is only willing to fully serve some students, but not others, that’s not really parent choice.

While we have any number of top quality private options across Oklahoma currently, we can’t assume they’re all so reputable. If we institute vouchers, all participating institutions should be subject to some sort of quality control by the state. We’re already considering legislation to protect adult students from for-profit colleges; refusing to do the same thing for minors would be blatant negligence.

Surely it can’t be that burdensome to comply with a few basic requirements – submit some reports, compile a spreadsheet or twelve conforming the exacting yet ever-changing demands of the state legislature. Much like with public schools, we should of course proceed under the assumption that all private school administrators are scam artists and their teachers both incompetent and wanna-be child-rapists.

The paperwork too burdensome? Why are you trying to protect scam artists and child-rapists?

If we institute vouchers, we simply must have an annual ‘report card’ of some sort so parents can know which schools are the good ones. If vouchers are to magically solve problems, increase productivity, and reduce costs, then parents must be able to make informed choices, yes? If they’re not capable of figuring out if their child’s existing public school is doing a good job or not without publishing an overly simplistic critique in the local press each year, I can’t imagine how they’d choose from dozens of options they’ve never even visited.

I’d take my chances with that kind of parent choice. I even genuinely hope that some good comes of it – anything that ends up being good for kids is good for education, period.

But if voucher supporters aren’t willing to get serious about parent choice, then I’m not sure I can take their rhetoric seriously. If they’re not really in this for the reasons they claim, what in subsidized elitism’s name could they be fighting for instead?

I, for one, can’t imagine

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Defining Moments

January 1, 2017June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 1 Comment

Only a few paragraphs into “The Adventure of the Speckled Band,” Sherlock Holmes awakens Watson with an alarming comment:

“Very sorry to knock you up, Watson,” said he, “but it’s the common lot this morning. Mrs. Hudson has been knocked up, she retorted upon me, and I on you.”
“What is it, then – a fire?”
“No; a client. It seems that a young lady has arrived in a considerable state of excitement, who insists upon seeing me…”

For Mrs. Hudson – the widowed landlady – to have been “knocked up” was bad enough. That Holmes could so briskly do the same to Watson was particularly troubling, especially with an excited young lady waiting.

It soon gets weirder:

The ejaculation had been drawn from my companion by the fact that our door had been suddenly dashed open, and that a huge man had framed himself in the aperture. His costume was a peculiar mixture of the professional and of the agricultural, having a black top-hat, a long frock-coat, and a pair of high gaiters, with a hunting-crop swinging in his hand…

So Holmes’ tastes seem to have run a bit Village People or Steam Punk. Fair enough.

This is not the only time Arthur Conan Doyle seems to be telling a very different sort of detective story than we typically associate with his iconic characters. Consider this scene from “The Man With The Twisted Lip”:

In the dim light of the lamp I saw him sitting there, an old briar pipe between his lips, his eyes fixed vacantly upon the corner of the ceiling, the blue smoke curling up from him, silent, motionless, with the light shining upon his strong-set aquiline features. So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up… The pipe was still between his lips, the smoke still curled upward, and the room was full of a dense tobacco haze, but nothing remained of the heap of shag which I had seen upon the previous night.
”Awake, Watson?” he asked.
”Yes.”
”Game for a morning drive?”
”Certainly.”
”Then dress… I know where the stable-boy sleeps, and we shall soon have the trap out.” He chuckled to himself as he spoke, his eyes twinkled, and he seemed a different man…

Now THAT’S a party.

These are, of course, completely distorted and unfair readings of the texts. Whatever tawdriness may occur within these pages, it’s rarely the world’s favorite detective at fault. Our dear narrator Watson likewise seems noble enough throughout – no matter how many times he ejaculates.

Which he does a LOT, by his own reports.

The issue is language. It evolves over time, and without proper framing we’re easily led astray. A word like “aquiline” doesn’t throw us too badly. We probably don’t know what it means (“like an eagle,” especially in reference to the shape of one’s nose), but we know that we don’t. There’s no misunderstanding because we don’t understand to begin with.

Other terms, like “knocked up,” are more easily misread, having accumulated other meanings with which we may be familiar. The use of “shag” or “trap” wouldn’t automatically raise eyebrows, but by the time everyone’s ejaculating everywhere and the landlady is pregnant, we’ve formed a new context into which they’re easily inserted.

Er… as it were.

Sexual words aren’t the only sort which evolve, of course. Consider a trio of insults generally avoided in polite company: moron, imbecile, and idiot.

In the early 20th century, American psychiatrist and eugenicist Henry H. Goddard was very interested in “feeble-mindedness” and its impact on democracy and American culture. He helped popularize IQ Tests in the U.S., and assigned categories to various ranges of scores thereon.

A score of 75 or higher indicated “normal” intelligence or above. It generally takes 100+ to successfully complete four years of college.

A person in the range of 50 – 75 was labeled a “moron,” a term Goddard coined from the Greek “moros” – i.e., “dull.” This equated to a mental age of roughly 8 – 12 years old.

An IQ score of 25 – 50 made you an “imbecile.” This term already existed, but was now specifically applied towards those considered unable and unqualified to make certain decisions for themselves. The American Eugenics movement of the early 20th century pushed for sterilization of folks in this category – an idea embraced by the Progressive Movement (a detail generally omitted from our textbooks) as part of their overall effort to improve society.

The potential of eugenics – including selective sterilization – was gaining momentum in the U.S. when some little German fellow whose name escapes me took the idea and ran wild with it, taking much of his country with him. We don’t talk about it since then – at least not openly. We obscure it in indirect language and distorted words.

An IQ of 0 – 25 earned you the moniker “idiot.” In popular usage, a “dunce” was an idiot who simply couldn’t learn, while an “ignoramus” was someone who hadn’t learned anything yet. Both are different from a “fool,” who was unwise rather than uneducated, or a “cretin” – the oldest of these terms. “Cretinism” was specifically biological in nature, and often a result of iodine deficiency.

That’s right – the stuff they put in salt. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, right?

Goddard’s rankings meant that someone accused of being an idiot might reply with pride that he was, in fact, an imbecile! Of course, he might then be one-upped by any vain morons nearby.

None of these words are used scientifically today. They were replaced by “mildly retarded,” “retarded,” and “profoundly retarded,” which in turn fell out of favor and were supplanted by even gentler terminology. Given how quickly kids were slamming each other as “specially-abled,” it’s unlikely to stop there.

Language changes, and context matters.

“He’s a queer sort of fellow” is borderline offensive in 2017, but meant something completely different a few generations ago. “We’ll have a gay old time” would make for a very different Flintstones in 2017 than it did in 1962, and “we’ll all be gay when Johnny comes marching home” could go all kinds of directions. (Insert usual disclaimers here.)

When Ben Franklin wrote to his frustrated nephew in 1745 about dealing with his “violent natural inclinations,” the issue was lust, not serial killing. He first encouraged him to marry. “But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable,” Franklin continues, “then I repeat my former Advice…”

It’s easy to infer that Franklin’s nephew had been turning to prostitutes for relief. But “commerce” in this case simply meant “interaction” and “the sex” referred to women – as in the opposite sex, the fairer sex, etc. His nephew may have been fooling around, but he wasn’t paying for it.

I’m not sure if that’s better or worse, but it’s different.

If I reference a “fag,” do I want a cigarette? A bundle of sticks? My British man-servant? Maybe I’m just exhausted – although that would be “fagged.” Or am I hoping to get into a fight with a homosexual? It’s all about context and intent.

“Damn the torpedoes” meant to ignore the dangers of underwater mines. Avoiding a draft might require closing the window, hiding from the army, or refusing to edit a post that just won’t come together. And while you may not be ready for this jelly, thinking you are might get you into quite a jam.

I remind my students regularly to pay attention to how language is used – and with what intent. Meanings can be malleable, and context matters.

Of course, in all of these examples, definitions diversified naturally.The words evolved organically. The reasons vary, but none were manipulated with the goal of deceiving the listener or reader. Doyle wasn’t making sly sex jokes through Holmes, and while calling someone an “imbecile” may be cruel, it’s done with the intention they’ll understand what you mean.

Sometimes, though, language is used in confusing ways on purpose. Words are redefined to deceive or distract, to willfully muddle the issues involved. The technical term for this is stercore excretum – and it’s quite popular in legislative rhetoric and education reform these days. As useful as it is to recognize words whose function naturally varies over time, it’s even more important to question and clarify language used in unnaturally altered ways.

If something is proposed in the name of, say, “religious freedom,” what does that mean? Which religions? What kinds of freedom? Does “freedom” in this case mean “freedom”? Or does it mean “less freedom for you and more social and political power for me,” only dressed up to sound noble?

“School choice” is trendy these days. But what sort of “choice,” exactly? And whose? The schools? Parents? Students? The answers matter.

“Education Savings Accounts”? Are they savings accounts intended to be used for education? Or are they something completely different we’re intentionally obscuring – like calling Twinkies a “professional health management system”?

In government, budget “cuts” are sometimes increases, and “increases” are sometimes cuts. “Refusing to bow to political correctness” is the latest reframing of a childish lack of impulse control and zero accountability for being an ass. Context matters – and so does intent.

Expect brand new definitions of “pay raises” for Oklahoma teachers this session, alongside some creative new meanings for “compromise,” “serious effort,” and “valuing public education.”

It will be like another Christmas, but all the presents are old broken crap that used to be yours anyway, given back to you in recycled wrapping with glitter vomited all over it. You’ll then be expected to demonstrate a new definition of “thankful” and pay for everything yourself in the name of “acting like a professional.”

Yipee-ki-yay, #OklaEd.

We probably can’t change what’s coming. Voters recently redefined “holding out for a better plan” to mean “$%&@ those teachers,” and that will have consequences.

But let’s at least fight for clarity in 2017. Let’s insist on precise definitions and shine as much light as we can on intentions and context and discarded knowledge. If we can’t stop those in power from “helping” and “leading” in 2017, let’s at least make them call stuff what it is along the way.