The Dirty Parts

May 21, 2023June 12, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

NOTE: This post is sexually explicit and full of naughty things. Feel free to skip it in favor of something more uplifting and G-rated. Seriously.

If you were around in the 1980s, you probably remember this radio hit from The Cars:

I know tonight, she comes – she’s taking a swipe at fun
She tells me it’s easy when you do it right – I know tonight, she comes

Or this catchy little pop-gospel number, played endlessly on MTV and Top 40 radio:

I hear your voice – it’s like an angel sighing – I have no choice…
I close my eyes – oh God, I think I’m falling out of the sky…
When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer – I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power – just like a prayer, you know I’ll take you there

While it wasn’t exactly news by this time that Madonna was tawdry, most listeners heard or even sang along with these words without actually processing what they were describing. (Spoiler alert: she wasn’t actually praying, although “Oh God” may have been uttered a few times.)

The approach wasn’t entirely new. Cole Porter several generations before had done quite well with lyrical winking and nudging:

And that’s why birds do it – bees do it – even educated fleas do it – let’s do it – let’s fall in love…
Sloths who hang down from the twigs do it – though the effort is great
Sweet guinea pigs do it – buy a couple and wait!
The world admits bears in pits do it – even Pekingeses in the Ritz do it
Let’s do it – let’s fall in love

Sometimes it wasn’t even THAT subtle, and yet most of us missed it until re-watching with our own kids a generation later…

Go, greased lightnin’ – you’re burnin’ up the quarter mile
Go, greased lightnin’ – you’re coasting through the heat lap trials
You’re supreme – the chicks’ll cream – for greased lightnin’…
With new boosters, plates and shocks, I can get off my rocks
You know that I ain’t braggin’ – she’s a real pussy wagon – greased lightnin’

If you’d never noticed what Danny Zucko was getting at in this song, don’t feel bad. You may recall an episode of Arrested Development in which Michael and his niece Maeby were halfway through a rousing karaoke rendition of “Afternoon Delight” when it dawned on him what they were actually singing…

Thinking of you’s working up my appetite – looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of lovin’ you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight – afternoon delight…
Started out this morning feeling so polite – I always thought a fish could not be caught who wouldn’t bite
But you’ve got some bait a-waiting and I think I might try, nibbling a little afternoon delight…

In short, there are endless examples of sexual innuendo and outright potty talk in rock’n’roll and other forms of popular music. It makes sense, given that art explores all sorts of things about the human experience, and sex – for better or worse – is a memorable and often complicated part of all that.

While we’ve certainly loosened up when it comes to intimate topics, most openly explicit stuff is just… boring. It requires little creativity and says nothing about the emotional dynamics typically implicit in such things. Lyrical porn is just like any other sort of porn – it may have a certain salacious appeal, but it’s not exactly “art.”

What can be interesting are the many ways writers use metaphors or imagery to hint at desire or sexual naughtiness without actually saying anything inappropriate – and why they choose to do so. I’m going to focus here on musical specimens with a focus on accessibility. Most examples from legit poetry or literature with which I’m familiar are centuries old, meaning the primary challenge isn’t so much rhetorical subtlety as obsolete language. Besides, I’m sure every English teacher has their own favorite dirty passages in the books they assign – stuff that Republicans would be wetting themselves to ban if they understood them in the first place.

There are THREE BASIC REASONS writers use sexual innuendo, although they sometimes overlap.

1) The writer wants to be suggestive without triggering censorship or criticism.

Here’s a segment of “If I Were A Bell” from Guys and Dolls, staged and filmed in the early 1950s:

From the moment we kissed tonight, that’s the way I’ve just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp, I’d light – or if I were a banner, I’d wave
Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing
Well, sir, all I can say is if I were a gate, I’d be swinging…
Ask me how do I feel – ask me now that we’re fondly caressing
Well, if I were a salad, I know I’d be splashing my dressing
Or if I were a season, I’d surely be spring…
Or if I were a bell, I’d go ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding!

Lamps lighting and banners waving are certainly innocuous enough, but “swinging” has a hint of suggestiveness – although not enough by itself to trigger any suspicion. Add some caressing and the bit about losing your dressing, though, and it’s the tiniest bit blue. Almost.

It’s a beautiful thing, straddling such lines while still looking so wholesome.

The band Queen wasn’t exactly prudish, but neither were they willing in the late 1970s to come right out and celebrate the excessive drug use and bisexual one-night stands of lead singer and songwriter Freddie Mercury. Instead, we get lyrics like this from “Don’t Stop Me Now”:

Tonight, I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive, and the world – I’ll turn it inside out, yeah – I’m floating around in ecstasy
So don’t stop me now – don’t stop me, ’cause I’m having a good time…
I’m burning through the sky, yeah – 200 degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I’m traveling at the speed of light – I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
I’m having such a good time – I’m having a ball – if you wanna have a good time, just give me a call
I’m on a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course – I’m a satellite – I’m out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb – about to oh oh oh oh oh explode
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you… Let loose, honey, all right

If you didn’t know much about Mercury, you might be able to simply enjoy this as a generic party song – which most did. No one close to the band had ANY illusions, however, what these lyrics were really about.

2) The coy language reflects the flirting and uncertainty of the situation.

Here’s Kay Howard, fifth wife of Henry VIII, singing about her teenage years in the musical “Six”:

Take my first music teacher, Henry Mannox
I was young, it’s true, but even then I knew – the only thing you wanna to do is… (*kiss* / *sigh*)
Broad, dark, sexy Mannox taught me all about dynamics
He was twenty-three, and I was thirteen going on thirty
We’d spend hours strumming the lute, striking the chords and blowing the flute
He plucked my strings all the way to G – went from major to minor, C to D

There’s a mix of innuendo here, from the overt (“I was thirteen going on thirty”) to the metaphorical (“blowing the flute”). Context makes even the bits about plucking strings and changing keys sound dirty, even if we’re unable to identify exactly why that is.

Don’t worry – it gets easier:

But then there was another guy – Francis Dereham…
Serious, stern and slow – gets what he wants, and he won’t take no…
Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfill – he even let me use his favorite quill
Spilled ink all over the parchment – my wrist was so tired – still I came back the next day as he required

In this case the double entendres are both amusing and tragic. On the one hand, you can almost picture their loaded interactions in the guise of workplace activity – the looks, the incidental contact, etc. On the other hand, Howard is essentially a young lady being sexually exploited by older men in a time when women had even less social capital than they do today. The song moves from sorta fun and sassy to angry and broken at the end, and the metaphors and innuendo of those early verses help emphasize that transition.

It doesn’t have to be quite so intense. Here’s a bit from “Brand New Key” by Melanie from the early 1970s (and covered multiple times since then):

I rode my bicycle past your window last night – I roller-skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you’re avoiding me – I’m okay alone, but you’ve got something I need
Well, I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you’ve got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them on to see…
I ride my bike, I roller skate, don’t drive no car – don’t go so fast, but I go pretty far…
Well, I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you’ve got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them on to see…

If you try to pin it down as a direct sex metaphor, it doesn’t really work. At the same time, it’s undeniable that the lyrics flirt with the potential double meaning – just like the singer is apparently flirting with her little friend.

3) It’s supposed to be funny.

What makes something funny is an eternally evasive question which varies from person to person and generation to generation. In general, however, sex and love are fertile grounds for humor because they’re so universal and so universally awkward to ponder or attempt.

This is easily the riskiest of the three. When it works, the results can be sublime – or at least clever. Sexual innuendo gone wrong, on the other hand, quickly veers into crass, offensive, or juvenile.

Here’s a Christmas song from Anna and the Apocalypse which walks a shaky line between these extremes:

There’s a lack of presents in my stocking – and my chimney needs a good unblocking
Come on Santa dear, I’ve been waiting for you
Lemme tell you, if you’re feeling frozen stiff, my fire’s burning hot for you
Before you take a nap, let me sit upon your lap
There’s only one gift that I wanna unwrap when you’re near – Baby, it’s that time of year…
I’ve warmed your milk and made your favorite snack, so come on over and unload your sack
Tie those reindeer up – ’cause you may be a while – and I know what’ll make you smile…
Come on Santa, give it to me

In the context of the film, the tune is intended to be sexy and suggestive (as per #2 above). As a number in a musical, however, it’s primarily meant to be funny. The metaphorical innuendo is intentionally awkward (“my chimney needs a good unblocking”) and at times so explicit (“unload your sack”) that the audience is clearly intended to be in on the joke.

In other words, the rhetorical games act as overt double agents – metaphor and innuendo intended to toy with sexually explicit messaging, but nudged just far enough over the edge to allow us to laugh at them while they do it… all without quite coming out and saying anything R-rated.

The at-times-brilliant The Book of Mormon, in contrast, reaches WAY too far with “Baptize Me”:

I’m about to do it for the first time, and I’m gonna do it with a girl – a special girl who makes my heart kinda flutter – makes my eyes kinda blur – I can’t believe I’m about to baptize her!
Bathe her in God’s glory! And I will baptize her with everything I got – and I’ll make her beg for more as I wash her free of sin – and it’ll be so good, she’ll want me to baptize her again!

Believe it or not, it gets worse from there. That’s probably why the most successful humorous innuendo is often fairly succinct – get in, get out, and move on before they know what hit them.

Excerpt of “My Dead Gay Son” from Heathers:

They’re up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings
They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings
They live a playful afterlife that’s fancy-free and reckless
They swing upon the pearly gates and wear a pearly necklace

Then again, so much of Heathers is edgy that perhaps such moments fit right in.

I’ll close with a combination of all three. “I Love The Way” from Something Rotten! is a duet initiated by Portia, a young Puritan who feels compelled to mask any sinful feelings like love or the enjoyment of literature from her family (and to some extent herself). Her (musical) conversation with Nigel – a playwright – is flirty and awkward, just like their new feelings toward one another. For the audience, however, it’s neither subtle nor titillating. It’s just supposed to be funny.

Portia: I love Sydney, and Marlow, and often I borrow their words to express how I feel. I love poems of mystery, fantasy, history – oh, what seductive appeal! At night, alone in my bedroom, satisfying my need – the candlelight fire ignites my desire… to read! …
I love the places that words let me go – I love the way that your words move me so! No words have touched me the way that yours do…
I find pleasure perusing those writings and musing so often I pleasure myself – wait, that didn’t sound right
Nigel: No, I know what you mean – when I’m deep in the throes of impassionate prose, I could scream!
Portia (spoken): You scream?
Nigel (spoken): Yeah.
Portia (spoken): So do I!
Portia: Oh, I love a lilting line of lyrical alliteration… when the phrases come together like a consummation
Nigel: It’s sweet elation!

Those crazy Renaissance lovebirds.

I hope you found this post as fulfilling as I did. I’d hoped it would last longer, but somehow I got out everything I had to say with time to spare (sorry about that). I hear it happens to lots of writers. Hey, any chance you have a cigarette?

Raining in the Dark Cave of My Winter Car (Part Two)

May 10, 2023June 13, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

Certain types of similes and metaphors come up over and over in literature, poetry, pop songs, and the visual arts. Most lend themselves just as easily to larger uses like symbolism theme-ish stuff. Last time, I listed some of the most common – metaphors which are probably obvious to most of us, but which nevertheless manage to remain elusive for far too many of my students. Today, we’ll look at a few easy examples suitable for the classroom.

As with other literary devices, my examples are heavy on popular music because it tends to be so much more accessible than the legit stuff we keep hoping they’ll learn to appreciate. It’s not essential that students know or like the songs you choose, but it’s nice when that works out from time to time.

From “Here Comes The Sun” by the Beatles:

Little darlin’, it’s been a long cold lonely winter – little darlin’, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun – here comes the sun – and I say, it’s alright
Little darlin’, the smiles returning to their faces – little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun – here comes the sun – and I say, it’s alright…
Little darlin’, I feel that ice is slowly melting – little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been clear
Here comes the sun – here comes the sun – and I say, it’s alright

Let’s start with the obvious – these lines work just fine on a strictly literal level. Maybe the author just really likes the spring. It’s a much richer piece, however, if we read it as a song of hope – of coming through difficult times and feeling better about the future as a result.

Here’s another fairly light example from “Singing in the Rain” (a tune which predates the movie by 20+ years):

I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain – what a glorious feeling – I’m happy again
I’m laughing at clouds, so dark up above – the sun’s in my heart and I’m ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place – come on with the rain, I’ve a smile on my face
I walk down the lane with a happy refrain – just singing, I’m singing in the rain
Why am I smiling and why do I sing? Why does September seem sunny as spring?
Why do I get up each morning and start? Happy and head up with joy in my heart
Why is each new task a trifle to do? Because I am living a life full of you.

In the film, Gene Kelly quite literally sings this song in the rain – so there’s that. The lyrics are clearly intended to work on a metaphorical level as well – “the sun’s in my heart” and “September seem[ing] sunny as spring” and such. (Nice alliteration in that second line, by the way.)

Examples of spring as a new beginning or the sun coming out after the rain suggesting hope or joy are pretty much infinite – “Mr. Blue Sky” (E.L.O.), “I Can See Clearly Now” (Johnny Nash), “You Are My Sunshine” (most famously covered by Johnny Cash), “Daybreak” (Barry Manilow – who I’m including mostly just to see who’s paying attention), “Beautiful Day” (U2), “Unwritten” (Natasha Beddingfield – this one also has a nice window metaphor in the mix), or even “Ain’t No Sunshine” (Bill Withers, with a little reverse on the theme).

The other seasons are important in much great literature and poetry, but less common in popular music. Darkness, on the other hand, comes up quite a bit – especially for artists who want to sound, well… dark. If you’re not sure where to start, consider “The Dark Side” (Muse), “Darkside” (Blink-182 – this one has thinly veiled drug references), “Beware of Darkness” (George Harrison), or “In the Dark” (Billy Squier – although there’s some sexual innuendo near the end).

Depending on your audience, darkness and night help communicate the trauma of abuse as well. In the musical “Spring Awakening,” Martha reveals her experience to her friends in “The Dark I Know Well”:

I don’t scream though I know it’s wrong – I just play along
I lie there and breathe – like there and breathe…
There is a part I can’t tell about the dark I know well
There is a part I can’t tell about the dark I know well

“In the Night” by Weekend addresses similar abuse in slightly more elusive terms, and I suspect there are at least a dozen other examples out there for anyone who chooses to look. In most cases, the darkness and night are probably both literal and metaphorical. While I wouldn’t include such a triggering topic on any worksheets or PowerPoint presentations, it nevertheless demonstrates how effectively figurative language can capture negative experiences and emotions as well as it does happy, optimistic stuff.

Seasons other than spring are less commonly referenced in popular music, but that doesn’t mean they’re never used at all. Here’s an excerpt from “Winter Song” by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles:

This is my winter song to you – the storm is coming soon – it rolls in from the sea
My voice, a beacon in the night – my words will be your light – to carry you to me
Is love alive? Is love alive?
They say that things just cannot grow beneath the winter snow – or so I have been told…
I still believe in summer days – the seasons always change – and life will find a way
I’ll be your harvester of light and send it out tonight so we can start again
Is love alive? Is love alive? …
The storm is coming soon – it rolls in from the sea
My love a beacon in the night – my words will be your light
My love a beacon in the night – my words will be your light to carry you to me
Is love alive? Is love alive?

Nothing overly complex here, but they get in winter and summer and the changing of seasons and light and storms and OMG what a cornucopia of metaphorical staples!

In “I Hit the Brakes,” Admiral Twin uses a basic driving metaphor to explore a relationship in which two people seem to be wanting very different things:

I should have known by the look on your face when you climbed in the car where you wanted to go
Rumors I’d heard, no longer ignored – you opened your mouth, but before you could speak
I said no, I really don’t think I want to know – I really don’t think I want to go that far now
Let’s just stay right where we are now – leave well enough alone
I squint at the road but I can still see windshield reflections; you’re staring at me
You’ve something to say that I don’t want to hear, and it gets hard to drive when I’m covering my ears
So I say no, I really don’t think I want to know – I really don’t think I want to go that far down
I’d rather stay uninvolved now
These fevered confessions frighten me, and though you’re my friend
I swear if you don’t stop soon it’s a long walk home again
You just won’t quit – what made you believe I wanted to hear the secrets you keep?
Now I see what it takes – your head hits the windshield when I hit the brakes
’Cause I said no, I really don’t think I want to know – I really don’t think I want to go that far now…
You’ve gotten me involved now – now look what you’ve done

It would be easy to get bogged down in the distinction between metaphor or symbolism here, but the important thing is how the writer combines the familiar terrain of a car ride (including the terrifying implications of a head hitting the windshield) with the complexities of human relationships. We’re left unable to say for certain whether the issue is primarily about the passenger (“I don’t feel that way about you”) or the driver (“I’m terrified of intimacy or commitment”), but we certainly feel the intensity by the time it’s through.

The musical “Dear Evan Hansen” loves playing with symbols and at least one idiom (the protagonist, Evan Hansen, literally falls out of a tree in the forest and no one hears him or cares). Evan’s struggles are expressed in “Waving Through A Window,” which utilizes several common metaphors – but in interesting, thought-provoking ways:

I’ve learned to slam on the brake before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake – before I lead with the worst of me…
Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun – because you’ve learned, because you’ve learned
On the outside, always looking in – will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
’Cause I’m tap-tap-tapping on the glass – I’m waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear – so I wait around for an answer to appear
While I’m watch-watch-watching people pass – I’m waving through a window

Before we get to “tap-tap-tapping on the glass,” notice the simple car metaphor in the first line. The absurdity of hitting the breaks before starting the car brings powerful pathos to Evan’s isolation and fear of rejection. If we couldn’t fully relate before, that line alone ought to do the trick.

Next comes the sun – in this case acting both as illumination (“because you’ve learned”) and pain (“you keep getting burned”). At first glance, this contrasts with his complaint that “I try to speak, but nobody can hear”; as it turns out, even Evan’s insecurities are jumbled and contradictory. In that sense, he’s just like most of us.

The strongest metaphor throughout, however, is the window on which he’s “tap-tap-tapping.” Not only is it repeated in various forms throughout the song, it’s emphasized through alliteration (“watch-watch-watching people pass” and “waving through a window”), repetition (“watch-watch-watching” and “tap-tap-tapping”) and onomatopoeia (the “tapping”). In this case, the window metaphor emphasizes the singer’s sense of isolation from the rest of the world – “on the outside, always looking in.”

While it’s not obvious from this song alone, the window also represents the various screens through which we utilize social media. The staging of the show utilizes multiple cell phone and laptop-shaped screens with scrolling posts and endless notification noises. Many of Evan’s interactions with others occur via his laptop or other devices, further emphasizing his sense of distance and isolation, even when he’s actively communicating. As he learns to open up (instead of waiting on the rest of the world to let him in), we see more face-to-face interactions. Throughout the play, online communication is primarily used when shaping false narratives or identities. Conversely, while not every face-to-face relationship is honest, every honest relationship moment we see occurs face-to-face – not “through a window.”

I know, right?! ISN’T FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE JUST THE BEST?!?

When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound?
When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound? Did I even make a sound? It’s like I never made a sound. Will I ever make a sound?

It’s hard to imagine a more resonant expression of our universal need to feel “heard.” As I’ve harped on with other literary devices, it’s fine if we want to take a moment to discuss the “falling in a forest” reference and whether it’s an idiom or a metaphor or symbolism or a future injunctive appositive, but never at the expense of exploring what it means, and suggests.

We study literary devices to make us better readers, listeners, writers, and speakers – not to make us better categorizers of literary devices. Even the most common metaphors and symbols – light and dark, weather, the seasons, doors and windows, cars and roads, etc. – can be used in fresh, interesting ways. In turn, they can bring depth or different perspectives to thoughts, feelings, and situations which are both unique and universal.

That’s the power of language.

Like A Metaphor

May 5, 2023June 12, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

I’m about to commit the gravest of blasphemies against ELA doctrine, so I might as well get it out of the way up front.

It’s silly that we have different names for “similes” and “metaphors.” They’re the SAME THING. The distinction is purely technical and largely irrelevant.

Alliteration is alliteration whether it occurs in multiple sentences or a single pair of words. The name doesn’t change based on whether the repeated consonant is hard or soft, capitalized or lowercase.

Onomatopoeia is onomatopoeia whether the sounds being emulated are emitted from living creatures or inanimate matter – loud or soft, comforting or frightening.

Personification is personification. Imagery is imagery. Foreshadowing is foreshadowing. Themes are themes.

But metaphors are only metaphors if they don’t use “like” or “as.” If either of those words appears, suddenly they’re similes. As a result, we spend so much time trying to help students distinguish between the two that we lose sight of why these devices exist in the first place.

A metaphor compares two things which aren’t otherwise alike in order to emphasize one or more characteristics of the primary character or situation being described.

A simile, on the other hand, compares two things which aren’t otherwise alike in order to emphasize one or more characteristics of the primary character or situation being described… and uses “like” or “as” to do so, so it’s a tad less intense.

“You’re an angel” is a metaphor.

“You’re like an angel” is a simile.

These aren’t exactly the same, but they’re close enough that they shouldn’t require multiple worksheets to tell them apart. And just to complicate things, not every description using “like” or “as” is a simile.

“I’m going to the Halloween party dressed like an angel” is neither a simile nor a metaphor – it’s just a description. But we get kids so focused on that “like” and “as” nonsense that they feel betrayed when statements like this don’t qualify.

That’s a shame, because a decent metaphor (or simile) can bring connection, complexity, or any number of other interesting characteristics to a piece of literature, a simple poem, a pop song, or even a persuasive essay – often more efficiently and effectively than any other literary device. There are endless iterations of this across multiple genres, but for now I’m going to stick with a few easily digestible examples from popular music – the kind you’d use when first teaching these devices to kids.

Most musical examples are fairly straightforward…

From “I Am A Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel:

I’ve built walls – a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship – friendship causes pain – it’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain
I am a rock – I am an island

From “Life Is A Highway” by Rascal Flatts:

Life’s like a road that you travel on – when there’s one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend – sometimes you stand – sometimes you turn your back to the wind…
Life is a highway – I wanna ride it all night long
If you’re goin’ my way, well – I wanna drive it all night long

From “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran:

I’m on the hunt, I’m after you
Mouth is alive, with juices like wine and I’m hungry like the wolf

From “We Got The Beat” by Talib Kweli:

Coming from the deep black like the Loch Ness, now bring apocalypse like the Heart of Darkness…

You get the idea. Others, though, are developed a bit more thoroughly, as in this excerpt from “Buggin’” by the Flaming Lips:

All those bugs buzzing around…
Well they fly in the air and you comb your hair
And the summertime will make you itch the mosquito bites
The buzz of love is busy buggin’ you
Well they fly in the air as you comb your hair
And they’re splattered up and down your windshield – the headlights
Well, they bite – yeah, they bite – but you can’t see them there
But they bite – yeah, they bite – but you can’t tell they’re there
Does love buzz? Because that’s what it does…

We have multiple things going on here. There’s all that onomatopoeia of the buzzing and splattering and the alliteration of the bugs biting. But there’s also an underlying metaphor – love is like bugs in the summer. It’s annoying and messy, but it’s everywhere and chances are, you can’t escape it. Love is probably the most written about subject in all of human history, but this quirky metaphor finds something new to say about it. Exactly what that is may be difficult to explain – but that’s why the writer uses the metaphor in the first place.

In “Brick” by the Ben Folds Five, we have the recurring metaphor referenced in the title:

Now that I have found someone, I’m feeling more alone than I ever have before
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly – off the coast and I’m headed nowhere
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly…

A brick isn’t a bag of concrete, but it’s enough that over time the pull becomes unbearable – especially when you can’t quite reach dry land and aren’t even sure what direction you’re going. The details described in the rest of the song are quite specific, but the experience of being pulled down by a relationship you don’t feel free to escape is universal – hence the power of the metaphor.

Things don’t always have to be so profound, of course. In “If I Were A Bell” from the musical “Guys and Dolls,” love interest Sarah Brown (a “good girl” missionary being swept off her feet by a “bad boy” gambler) uses a series of metaphors to express her happiness with just enough sexual innuendo to provide plausible deniability should anyone question her too closely:

Ask me how do I feel – ask me now that we’re cozy and clinging
Well, sir, all I can say is if I were a bell, I’d be ringing
From the moment we kissed tonight, that’s the way I’ve just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp, I’d light – or if I were a banner, I’d wave
Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing
Well, sir, all I can say is if I were a gate, I’d be swinging
And if I were a watch, I’d start popping my springs
Or if I were a bell, I’d go ding dong ding dong ding…
Ask me how do I feel – ask me now that we’re fondly caressing
Well, if I were a salad, I know I’d be splashing my dressing
Or if I were a season, I’d surely be spring
Or if I were a gate, I would swing – have a fling – almost any old thing
Or if I were a bell, I’d go ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding!

None of these are overly specific – a bell ringing, a gate swinging, a salad “splashing its dressing,” etc. Used this way, the metaphors suggest an emotional state through their cumulative effect. (They don’t all even make sense individually.) The character is experiencing something new and unexpected. She lacks the words to explain it – so… metaphors galore.

Admiral Twin does something similar in “Better Than Nothing At All,” although the cumulative effect of their metaphorical onslaught has a very different tone:

I’m a bitter pill on your tongue, but I tell you – I’m better than nothing at all
I go down as smooth as a nail or a memory drowning in alcohol…
I’m the ghost in your closet when you turn the lights out – I’m rattling ’round through your bones
I know all your secret designs and amusements – I’m listening on the phone…
I’m the rock at the bottom of where you are falling, and when we kiss you’ll be there
I’m the thorn in your side when you’re trying to be cool (but nobody really cares)
You’re afraid of the outside – you’re afraid of the outside creeping in
You don’t really want me, but you’d better believe
Oh, I’m better than nothing at all – oh, I’m better than nothing at all

A few of these could also be classified as “idioms,” but their purpose is the same. Something very difficult to accurately describe in literal language – in this case, a dysfunctional relationship of some sort – can be captured quite powerfully with the right metaphors.

Some writers use metaphors so subtly that the story (or poem, or song) works just fine without our conscious awareness that anything deeper is going on. I love this example from “Little Black Dress” by Sara Bareilles:

I tried to be everything you’d ever want and sometimes I even stood on my heart and stomped
Now I’m finally alone and dressed for the show – but going nowhere – they don’t need to see me crying
I’ll get my little black dress on, and if I put on my favorite song – I’m gonna dance until you’re all gone…
Now I’m fighting to find the ground again, to steady my feet
Get up off my knees and just remember that I am more than just somebody’s puppet
I can find the cord and then I’ll cut it
I stand a pretty good chance to dust myself off and dance
I’ll get my little black dress on, and if I put on my favorite song – I’m gonna dance until you’re all gone…
And if I tell myself that nothing’s wrong, this doesn’t have to be a sad song – now with my little black dress on
It’s time to connect the dots and draw a different picture up and paint it with the colors of everything I ever was
Return to the scene of the crime, the day I let the music die, and rewrite the final lines cause this time I –
I’ll get my little black dress on, and if I put on my favorite song – I’m gonna dance until you’re all gone…
And if I tell myself that nothing’s wrong, this doesn’t have to be a sad song
Not with my little black dress on

The song is a fairly straightforward celebration of self-empowerment after a bad breakup, and most students will catch the “puppet” metaphor easily enough.

It’s noteworthy, however, that it’s a little black dress – not red (suggesting danger or sexuality) or green (implying rebirth or new growth) or whatever. Black is the color one wears to a funeral. In this case, it’s not the death of an individual, but of a relationship. Combined with the elusive reference to “the day I let the music die” and the recurring insistence that “this doesn’t have to be a sad song,” it’s safe to say the choice was intentional.

You know how these artistic types are, after all.

But let’s just say it’s NOT intentional – that a “little black dress” is simply a standard, all-purpose go-to for many women. Does that invalidate the “funeral” metaphor I just spent so much time on? No, not at all. Metaphors and similes don’t rely on the intent of the author anymore than a pregnancy must be planned in order to produce a baby. Sometimes they just… happen.

The examples above are only a few very basic examples of some of the different ways metaphors and similes can be used; the possibilities are pretty much endless. Many songs, poems, and stories utilize these literary devices in “one-and-done” fashion to make a single point, while others weave thematic tapestries you could spend weeks unraveling. There are also some metaphors so common in stories, poems, and songs, that they’ll require their own separate post – windows, doors, weather, light, dark, seasons, water, birth, cars and driving (or crashing), waking up, falling asleep, etc. We’ll try to tackle a few of these next time.