Examination Day – Fisher/Brecheen Edition

Examination Day ThreeIn February 1958, Henry Slesar took a carefuly look into the future and saw the ideal educational system envisioned by Senator Brecheen and Representative Fisher from Oklahoma’s future. He recorded his observations, but was unable to get them published until he labeled them ‘fiction’ and submitted them to the relatively new Playboy magazine – an irony he was likely unable to fully appreciate at the time.

He titled this lil’ prophecy “Examination Day.” You probably read it in middle school, although I suspect it’s destined for the ‘banned’ list soon.

Examination Day (Henry Slesar)

The Jordans never spoke of the exam, not until their son, Dickie, was twelve years old. It was on his birthday that Mrs. Jordan first mentioned the subject in his presence, and the anxious manner of her speech caused her husband to answer sharply.

‘Forget about it,’ he said. ‘He’ll do alright.’

They were at the breakfast table, and the boy looked up from his plate curiously. He was an alert-eyed youngster, with flat blond hair and a quick, nervous manner. He didn’t understand what the sudden tension was about, but he did know that today was his birthday, and he wanted harmony above all. Somewhere in the apartment there were wrapped, beribboned packages waiting to be opened, and in the tiny wall-kitchen, something warm and sweet was being prepared in the automatic stove. He wanted the day to be happy, and the moistness of his mother’s eyes, the scowl on his father’s face, spoiled the mood of fluttering expectation with which he had greeted the morning.

‘What exam?’ he asked.

His mother looked at the tablecloth. ‘It’s just a sort of Government intelligence test they give children at the age of twelve. You’ll be getting it next week. It’s nothing to worry about.’

‘You mean a test like in school?’

‘Something like that,’ his father said, getting up from the table. ‘Go read your comic books, Dickie.’

The boy rose and wandered towards that part of the room that had been ‘his’ corner since infancy. He fingered the topmost comic of the stack, but seemed uninterested in the colourful squares of fast-paced action. He wandered towards the window, and peered gloomily at the veil of mist that shrouded the glass.

‘Why did it have to rain today?’ he said. ‘Why couldn’t it rain tomorrow?’

His father, now slumped into an armchair with the Government newspaper, rattled the sheets in vexation. ‘Because it just did, that’s all. Rain makes the grass grow.’

‘Why, Dad?’

‘Because it does, that’s all.’

Dickie puckered his brow. ‘What makes it green, though? The grass?’

‘Nobody knows,’ his father snapped, then immediately regretted his abruptness.

Later in the day, it was birthday time again. His mother beamed as she handed over the gaily–coloured packages, and even his father managed a grin and a rumple-of-the-hair. He kissed his mother and shook hands gravely with his father. Then the birthday cake was brought forth, and the ceremonies concluded.

‘Dad,’ he said, ‘how far away is the sun?’

‘Five thousand miles,’ his father said.

*******

Examination Day FourDickie sat at the breakfast table and again saw moisture in his mother’s eyes. He didn’t connect her tears with the exam until his father suddenly brought the subject to light again.

“Well, Dickie,” he said, with a manly frown, “you’ve got an appointment today.”

“I know Dad. I hope —”

“Now, it’s nothing to worry about. Thousands of children take this test every day. The Government wants to know how smart you are, Dickie. That’s all there is to it.”

“I get good marks in school,” he said hesitantly.

“This is different. This is a — special kind of test. They give you this stuff to drink, you see, and then you go into a room where there’s a sort of machine —”

“What stuff to drink?” Dickie said.

“It’s nothing. It tastes like peppermint. It’s just to make sure you answer the questions truthfully. Not that the Government thinks you won’t tell the truth, but it makes sure.”

Dickie’s face showed puzzlement, and a touch of fright. He looked at his mother, and she composed her face into a misty smile.

“Everything will be all right,” she said.

“Of course it will,” his father agreed. “You’re a good boy, Dickie; you’ll make out fine. Then we’ll come home and celebrate. All right?”

“Yes sir,” Dickie said.

*******

Examination Day OneThey entered the Government Educational Building fifteen minutes before the appointed hour. They crossed the marble floors of the great pillared lobby, passed beneath an archway and entered an automatic lift that brought them to the fourth floor.

There was a young man wearing an insignia-less tunic, seated at a polished desk in front of Room 404. He held a clipboard in his hand, and he checked the list down to the Js and permitted the Jordans to enter.

The room was as cold and official as a courtroom, with long benches flanking metal tables. There were several fathers and sons already there, and a thin-lipped woman with cropped black hair was passing out sheets of paper.

Mr. Jordan filled out the form, and returned it to the clerk. Then he told Dickie: “It won’t be long now. When they call your name, you just go through the doorway at the end of the room.” He indicated the portal with his finger.

A concealed loudspeaker crackled and called off the first name. Dickie saw a boy leave his father’s side reluctantly and walk slowly towards the door.

At five minutes to eleven, they called the name of Jordan.

“Good luck, son,” his father said, without looking at him. “I’ll call for you when the test is over.”

Dickie walked to the door and turned the knob. The room inside was dim, and he could barely make out the features of the grey-tunicked attendant who greeted him.

“Sit down,” the man said softly. He indicated a high stool beside his desk. “Your name’s Richard Jordan?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Your classification number is 600-115. Drink this, Richard.”

He lifted a plastic cup from the desk and handed it to the boy. The liquid inside had the consistency of buttermilk, tasted only vaguely of the promised peppermint. Dickie downed it, and handed the man the empty cup.

He sat in silence, feeling drowsy, while the man wrote busily on a sheet of paper. Then the attendant looked at his watch, and rose to stand only inches from Dickie’s face. He unclipped a penlike object from the pocket of his tunic, and flashed a tiny light into the boy’s eyes.

“All right,” he said. “Come with me, Richard.”

He led Dickie to the end of the room, where a single wooden armchair faced a multi-dialled computing machine. There was a microphone on the left arm of the chair, and when the boy sat down, he found its pinpoint head conveniently at his mouth.

Examination Day Two“Now just relax, Richard. You’ll be asked some questions, and you think them over carefully. Then give your answers into the microphone. The machine will take care of the rest.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll leave you alone now. Whenever you want to start, just say ‘ready’ into the microphone.”

“Yes, sir.”

The man squeezed his shoulder, and left.

Dickie said, “Ready.”

Lights appeared on the machine, and a mechanism whirred. A voice said: “Complete this sequence. One, four, seven, ten, …”

*******

Mr. and Mrs. Jordan were in the living room, not speaking, not even speculating.

It was almost four o’clock when the telephone rang. The woman tried to reach it first, but her husband was quicker.

“Mr. Jordan?”

The voice was clipped: a brisk, official voice.

“Yes, speaking.”

“This is the Government Educational Service. Your son, Richard M. Jordan, Classification 600-115 has completed the Government examination. We regret to inform you that his intelligence quotient has exceeded the Government regulation, according to Rule 84 Section 5 of the New Code.”

Across the room, the woman cried out, knowing nothing except the emotion she read on her husband’s face.

“You may specify by telephone,” the voice droned on, “whether you wish his body interred by the Government, or would you prefer a private burial place? The fee for Government burial is ten dollars.”

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APUSH Back – Compendium

New HS Classes in OK

*Updated 2/24/15 08:00*

Things have been moving rather briskly lately, and I’ve had a mite o’ difficulty keeping up. Holy wow – it’s like no one even TAKES those ‘Which 1970’s TV Commerical ARE You?’ quizzes on Facebook anymore – they just post about AP in OK and shake their collective cyber-heads.

My Current Favorites:

A Student Defends AP (I posted this on my blog, but this isn’t more me – this is actually good)

Top 10 Reasons America Is Exceptional (Also on my blog, but not mostly me – Christine Custred talks about REAL American Exceptionalism)

VIDEO: Oklahoma Bans AP History Because Facts Suck (**Language Warning**)

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Local Edu-Blogs & Related Insights I Find Useful

The Legislative APUSH Push-Back: An Educator’s Perspective – OkEdTruths is the definitive source for all things legislative in #oklaed, and this post is no exception. Most of this one, however, is a guest-blog from one of the state’s most successful and reputable classroom educators, Mr. David Burton. 

Save AP – OkEdTruths highlights the very real danger that we’re on our way towards eliminating one of the few things actually promoting higher education in our public schools right now.

We Must #SaveAP From Our Politicians – Claudia Swisher knows her politicians, but it still hurts watching the sausage being made… welcome to The Jungle.

APUSH: What You Can Still Do – OkEdTruths with his usual clarity and precision.

An Educated Person (The Problem With “Lists” as Curriculum) – This post is not only not specifically intended to be about pending legislation in Oklahoma, it’s from an English teacher in a whole other state. But the argument is entirely applicable here – lists of stuff we think “everyone” should know aren’t the same as learning or thinking.

AP U.S. History Course Description and other info – This is from the College Board website, so it’s not as completely unbiased and objective as, say, the Black Robes for Patriotic God Juice guy in our legislature. Nevertheless, in the same way I try to go to the actual legislation before ranting about the law, it might be helpful to go to the actual course description before damning its progressive contents to hell.

Bringing Back the Black Robe Regiment – Dan Fisher, our Man in Black. This is not parody; this is HIS site.

Plante Fisher 2

And of course my invaluable insights and throwing of furniture:

I’d Rather Be Aquaman (This one is from several months back when Texas was doing the whole ‘More Red in Red, White and Blue’ thing over the same issue. Plus, this is one amuses me to no end. Turns out I’m narcissistic and vain.)

Oklahoma Turns Against APUSH? (full text of SB 650 as introduced, w/ minor personal commentary)

We’ve Found A Witch… May We Burn Her? (full text of HB1380 as introduced, w/ minimal commentary) 

Noooobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition! (my overview of just what the fuss is all about – a beginner’s guide, as it were)

Meet Senator Josh Brecheen, Part I – Fire From Heaven (you know us history types – thinking we can learn something about the present by analyzing the past)

Meet Senator Josh Brecheen, Part II – Books on the Bonfire  (the Senator is proud of his war on Common Core – surely he won’t mind us taking a look?)

OK Senate Bill 650 – Brecheen the Ice (a look at SB 650 and its implications)

HB 1380 – Something Seems Fisher About This (a look at HB1380 and the man proposing it)

Dan Fisher is SHOCKED at What’s In His Bill (NPR came to visit, and spoke to two people. A very coherent teacher with a healthy clue, and a man hurt and breathy-offended that people would suggest he means anything he clearly says)

Dumb & Dumber

Other News / Commentary:

Meet the Man Behind the Right’s AP History Freak Out – (TalkingPointsMemo.com, 10/9/14)

Oklahoma Legislative Committee Questions Legality of Advanced Placement Courses in Public Schools (The Tulsa World, 2/17/15)

Oklahoma Lawmakers Vote Overwhelmingly to Ban Advanced Placement U.S. History (ThinkProgress.com, 2/17/15)

Oklahoma, Ranked 48th in Education, Votes to Ban AP History Classes (BlueNationReview.com, 2/17/15)

Great, Now Lawmakers Want to Get Rid of AP Classes… (TheLostOgle.com, 2/17/15)

Oklahoma Republicans May Have Outlawed Advanced Placement Classes (TheDailyKos.com, 2/17/15)

Sorry, Oklahoma. You Don’t Get To Ban History You Don’t Like. (TheGuardian.com, 2/18/15)

News9.com Full Interview With David Burton (News9.com, 2/18/15 – video)

Oklahoma May Scrap AP History for Focusing on America’s ‘Bad Parts’ (NPR “All Things Considered” segment, 2/18/15 – audio)

State Rep. Dan Fisher Introduces a Bill Introduces a Bill that is “Mythology, and Just Not True” (Red Dirt Report, 2/18/15)

Oklahoma Bill Would Make AP U.S. History… History (KFOR.com, 2/18/15 – article w/ video)

Oklahoma Bill Banning AP U.S. History Would Make Students Study Ten Commandments, 3 Speeches by Reagan (ThinkProgress.com, 2/18/15)

The Bizarre War Against AP U.S. History Courses (The Washington Post, 2/19/15)

Oklahoma Teachers Not Too Pleased About Bill to Ban AP U.S. History (Newsweek.com, 2/19/15)

Brecheen Snake Oil

Oklahoma Lawmaker Says He’ll Pull Back Controversial AP History Bill for a Rewrite (The Tulsa World, 2/20/15)

Oklahoma Votes to Ban AP U.S. History (TheOnion.com, 2/20/15 – satire, sort of I wish)

Lawmaker Who Targeted AP History Looks to Bring Back the Black Robe Regiment (The Tulsa World, 2/20/15)

The ‘Black Robe Regiment’: History, law professors counter Oklahoma lawmaker who targeted AP history (The Tulsa World, 2/21/15)

Editorial: Threat to AP U.S. history part of general assault on public education (The Tulsa World, 2/21/15)

Letter to the Editor: Don’t Whitewash U.S. History (The Tulsa World, 2/22/15 – written by AP High School Student)

Plante Fisher 1

Things To Ask Your Legislator or Others Supporting the Move to Kill AP:

I’m told I am not always the most dispassionate or rational voice on these subjects. That my ‘tone’ might be counterproductive in some situations.

Protestor ArrestedI don’t know… I think the image of me kicking and crying as I shriek: “WHY DO YOU HATE OUR CHILDREN?!? WHY ARE YOU AFRAID THEY MIGHT THINK OR GROW BEYOND THIS?!? WHAT ENTITY DO YOU SERVE THAT FEARS TRUTH OR LIGHT?!?” and they drag me away, never to be seen by family or friends again – well, it has a certain poignancy, don’t you think?

Still, I live to serve. Here’s my humble effort to prioritize and organize the existing issues regarding this effort to crush whatever minimal signs of higher level thinking may remain in our students.

Feel free to make comments / corrections / suggestions below. It’s not personal – my ego will manage. It usually does.

I’m conflating the House and Senate versions for efficiency. Feel free to link to this page when you email your Representatives and Senators over these bills.

Logistics / Finances:

Q1: What is your reasoning for thinking a multi-national organization like the College Board will submit to the whims of Oklahoma and ‘revert’ to the previous course outline based on our demands? Are you aware Texas – a state which, whatever our opinions of them, has a much larger population and budget than ours – tried something similar recently with almost no impact? Is this a serious expectation written into the bill, or merely cynical grandstanding?

Q2: Will the state be reimbursing students who under the current system would be receiving college credit for their APUSH scores in amounts equal to whatever additional tuition they’ll be paying as a result of this legislation?

Q3: How many years and how many hundreds of thousands of dollars do you plan on devoting to this new, improved AP course and test you wish to design to replace the College Board course and exam? Who, exactly, will write it? How will you pilot it, analyze its effectiveness, seek feedback from universities and public school history teachers around the world – or at least the state?

Q4: Given current budget restraints, where is all of this new money coming from to create this ‘new, improved’ AP course? Or do you merely plan on adding your list of documents onto the existing framework, despite your lack of faith in the current design?

Q5: How many additional school hours are you willing to finance for students to be adequately submerged in the many hundreds – possibly thousands – of required documents you propose? Will these hours replace current hours spent in math, science, or ELA, or will they be added to the current requirements?

Purpose / Assumptions:

Q6: What is it about other points of view or critical thinking that troubles you in the new APUSH course? Would you be willing to offer examples of APUSH courses currently being taught in Oklahoma which marginalize or ignore foundational documents or ‘American exceptionalism’ as at least one way to consider our history?

Q7: We hear repeatedly that we’re supposed to help students become “college, career, and citizenship ready” (or sometimes just “college & career ready”). Understanding and appreciating multiple points of view or other nation’s or culture’s paradigms and perspectives is an essential part of any of these three. If this is NOT the primary purpose of public education in Oklahoma, what do you believe that primary purpose SHOULD be?

Q8: Should students who do not come from an Anglo-Saxon background, or share an evangelical Protestant worldview, or conform to whatever else you consider to be the ‘real American’ standards and beliefs, be denied entrance to advanced coursework? If admitted, can they only pass if sufficiently willing to conform to a single lifestyle and value system, or are other interpretations and questions acceptable if supported with proper evidence?

Q9: Do you believe the values and ideals on which America was founded are so fragile as to be in danger from questions or challenges made in an academic setting? Could you help us understand what it is you believe your faith and your state have to fear from a generation taught to question both their own assumptions and those of others?

Q10: What do you believe is the primary purpose of Social Studies and History in public education?

Q11: Is it more important for students to be able to recite from a list of sacred texts, or be able to recognize, analyze, evaluate, and otherwise explain a variety of texts which they may encounter along the way?

Credibility:

Q12: Could you explain why you chose to include ___________ in your list of required documents, and what parts of this document or this collection of documents you believe is being currently marginilized by the APUSH framework?

I suggest a theme song for efforts to eliminate this whitewashing, flag-waving nonsense:

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Finally, HERE’S HOW YOU REACH YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.

I know we’re not all equally political, but please consider a short email or phone call expressing your thoughts.

If someone wanted to draft a sample and share it, that might be helpful. Mine will be in the comments below, but I’m sure there are better.

 Gandolf and Power

OK Senate Bill 650 – Brecheen the Ice

OKC Capital Bldg

I confess to some uncertainty regarding how things ‘work’ in the Oklahoma legislature, but if I’m reading the shorthand correctly, both of the bills regarding APUSH I’ve recently discussed – one in the House, one in the Senate – were officially presented tomorrow, February 2nd, 2015. 

So, time travel?

Senate Version

House Version

Let’s see if we can decipher any of this, shall we? I’m only citing excerpts – the full text is available here or here.

SENATE BILL 650 By:Brecheen  AS INTRODUCED 

An Act relating to schools; prohibiting state funds from being used to support – 

Well, that already pretty much sums up MOST of what our legislature does in regards to public ed, isn’t it? “prohibit state funds from being used to support”? 

An Act relating to schools; prohibiting state funds from being used to support certain U.S. history courses; prohibiting the State Board of Education from awarding certain grants until certain course framework reverts to framework in place at certain time; directing the State Board of Education by certain date to adopt certain history program; establishing criteria for program; allowing display of certain grade-level documents; providing for codification; providing an effective date; and declaring an EMERGENCY. 

I assume this is just standard legal speak, but how convoluted is that? It’s like certain legislators want to take certain steps to make certain that certain average constituents are unable to decipher certain things about what they’re certainly talking about because of certain potential reactions to what certain bullsh*it it is.

Pardon me – what certain EMERGENCY bullsh*t it is. 

This would be a good time to revisit Orwell’s thoughts on political-speak. I’ll wait. 

Ready to continue? OK. 

A.  No state funds shall be used to support advanced placement U.S. history courses in Oklahoma schools as the courses are designed as of the effective date of this act. 

B.  Beginning with the 2015-2016 school year, the State Board of Education shall not award any grants to school districts or make any expenditure of state funds, as authorized by Section 1210.703 of Title 70 of the Oklahoma Statutes, for equipment, instructional materials, course development, professional development or training, examination awards or examination scholarships for advanced placement U.S. history courses until the framework for the course is changed and reverts back to the course framework and examination that were used prior to the 2014-2015 school year. 

When all you have is an ideological hammer, every issue is a conspiratorial nail. I don’t know how many nickels we’re throwing into APUSH currently, but it can’t be substantial. Maybe someone can officially look that up for us and post it in the Comments below.

Hacksaw Jim MericanIn plain English, they want to kill AP U.S. History across the state until the College Board reverts back to the prior course outline. We’re counting on national reverence for Oklahoma’s leadership in intellectual development and our fiscal commitment to public education to do what Texas could not – blackmail and extort a multi-national organization for whom Oklahomans make up approximately .0043% of users. 

Okla-who-ma? 

This is delusional to the point of pathetic. Once again the question is begged – are they that ignorant, or do they assume we are? Are they incompetent, or merely exploiting the fact that those who elect them are easily manipulated? 

There is no scenario in which this bill is both reasonable AND well-intentioned. Its author is either knowingly pushing nonsense legislation (what we in the old country call ‘lying’), or so out of touch with reality that for his own safety he should not be left unattended.

I can’t find another way to interpret this, whether one agrees with its goals or not. 

HulksterThis isn’t a political ideology thing, like should we adjust food stamps or the minimum wage. This is like proposing legislation that unless Egypt becomes a full-fledged Christian democracy speaking only English, Oklahoma will refuse to let little children study the pyramids in school.

C.  Prior to the 2015-2016 school year, the State Board of Education shall identify and adopt an advanced placement U.S. history program and corresponding assessment that:

1.  Are not in contradiction with the subject matter standards for U.S. history adopted by the State Board of Education; and

2.  Include the following foundational and historical documents as part of the primary instruction in any U.S. history, honors U.S. history, and advanced placement U.S. history course offered in Oklahoma public schools: 

…and then a list of 4837 essential American documents.

This is getting to be a running joke in Oklahoma – the “We’ll make our OWN test! It’ll be gooder and bigger and purdier!” theme. 

How many sets of standards has Oklahoma written or planned to write just in the last decade or two? Which of them turned out so well we’re ready to flaunt them? 

My Flying Machine

That silly lil’ College Board – love them or hate them – has been doing this for about 60 years now, and spends ungodly amounts of time and money and research and field testing and data analysis and pretty much lives for this stuff because it’s WHAT THEY DO with a staff of hundreds and a budget of zillions. 

The APUSH rewrite alone took more man hours than going to the moon the first time. (I just made that up to support my point; I think it’s important to speak the language of those with whom you disagree.) 

But we need an issue, so we’ll plan on gathering up a few locals from the districts we like, maybe Stan from bowling league, a few reps from the major corporations, and book the Holiday Inn conference room for a day and a half – that oughta knock out something comparable. Heck, to show we’re serious we may allocate for a few two-liters of store-brand soda if the committee members want to take up a collection to order Subway for lunch.

You can like APUSH or hate it. You can lean as far left or right as you wish. But this bill makes no sense. It’s worth questioning why it’s being pushed, if what it proposes is neither sincere nor plausible. 

Now, those documents… 

a. organic documents from the pre-Colonial, Colonial, Revolutionary, Federalist, and post-Federalist eras of the United States, 

I dare anyone involved in this legislation to tell me what this means. I’d LOVE 3-4 examples of WHICH documents this would include, and why they’re not listed by name. 

b. major principles in the Federalist Papers, 

This is a semester’s worth of study all by itself. If you’re not familiar with the Federalist Papers, Google them for some good times. Great stuff, but I make the same dare to those pushing this law. What ARE the major principles of the Federalist Papers, according to you? No checking Wikipedia – if you feel strongly enough to legislate them, you should know what they say.

c. the writings, speeches, documents, and proclamations of the founders and presidents of the United States, 

Marinate in that for a moment. Every speech, letter, diary, order, or other word or action of every significant founder and every President ever. That’s better than the pre-Colonial and post-Federalist thing. I can’t believe they left out blood and urine samples – you know, just to bring history to life.

EagleWarriorI suppose he might only mean that he’d like to see more documents used in the study of history – that we learn to navigate primary sources, analyze them, question them, evaluate them, and synthesize them into meaningful interpretations and arguments. If so, that’s unfortunate because (a) that’s not what this bill actually says, and the point of written laws is that they’re written, and (b) that’s what the new APUSH course framework is trying to do so that teachers and students don’t have to be tied to long lists of specifics in order to learn how to ‘do’ history. 

Hey Senator, I heard the point dropped by – sorry you missed it.

d. America’s founding documents that contributed to the foundation or maintenance of America’s representative form of limited government, free-market economic system, and American exceptionalism, 

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Look at those magic words – “limited government”, “free-market economic system”, and “American exceptionalism.”  And only three letters and thousands of vaguely defined documents into the list!

All three of these are defensible elements of America’s founding ideals. All three are relevant and important, although surely even the Senator recognizes the negative connotations permanently latched onto the third.

But they are elements, not delineators. And – like “States’ Rights”, “Don’t Tread on Me”, or “But He Was Resisting Arrest” – they are currently all buzzwords for the furthest right wing of the Republican Party.

That’s fine – believe what you believe. But let’s not dance around the linguistics – we want a more pro-American, less nuanced version of U.S. History. We want overt indoctrination, not critical thinking or multiple viewpointed education.

e. objects of historical significance that have formed and influenced the United States’ legal or governmental system and that exemplify the development of the rule of law, including but not limited to the Magna Carta, the Mecklenburg Declaration, the Ten Commandments, and the Justinian Code, 

I must confess I regret a life devoid of the Mecklenburg Declaration and the Justinian Code. It’s left my classroom a sad and intellectually desolate place. All that time spent wasted trying to help them read or understand common themes running throughout our brief democracy. Oh, what could have been… *sigh*

f. U.S. Supreme Court decisions,

All of them? Ever? Could we at least narrow it down to your Top 100? I’ve labored annually to narrow my list of must-cover cases and still have a list that’s both too long and woefully inadequate. It just can’t be done in the current structure. 

Plus, who cares? How many Supreme Court cases can you name and explain? How are YOU doing in the so-called ‘real world’?

Miss PatrioticBefore considering this bill, could we at least identify which specific districts and teachers are teaching U.S. History – especially AP – without any founding documents, presidential speeches, Federalist Papers, or Supreme Court decisions? Is that happening anywhere in the state by anyone?

Thank god the Senator hates books so much or the next law would be for English class mandating students read every great book ever written (well, at least the ones without any dirty parts) or we’ll yank AP Literature, too.

Let’s skip down the list and see what awaits us. Are you scared? Me too!

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(18) at least a complete overview of the book entitled “Democracy in America” by Alexis de Tocqueville, 

Hey, Senator – or anyone educated in favor of this bill – what’s THIS book about? It’s on your list. None of you have read this – come on, admit it!

GOW CoverAnd what exactly is a ‘complete overview’? Do you mean ‘watch the movie’?

(19) the document known as “Declaration of Sentiments” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 

To his credit, the Senator has included a document calling for the equality of women. Now I KNOW he hasn’t read his own list. 

(34) portions of the book entitled “The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck, 

Ha! “Portions.” What do you bet other “portions” will be specifically banned? 

(45) “I Have a Dream” speech by Martin Luther King, Jr., 

(46) “The Ballot or the Bullet” speech by Malcolm X, 

Interesting choices out of all of the options for these two, but I’ll let that go for now. Besides, I’m genuinely surprised and impressed Brother Malcolm made this list at all. 

School districts shall permit teachers to display grade-level appropriate excerpts from or copies of the documents, writings, speeches, proclamations or records listed in this subsection in school classrooms and school building common areas as appropriate. 

Shall permit? There’s currently a ban on this? Or are we writing legislation to solve problems which don’t exist? Oh, right… 

SECTION 3.  It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an emergency is hereby declared to exist, by reason whereof this act shall take effect and be in full force from and after its passage and approval. 

Let’s assume for a moment you disagree with everything else I’ve said. You think the College Board is out to eat our young and that the only worthwhile function of public schools is to indoctrinate kids in good old fashioned Old Testament and ‘Merican values. 

Can you honestly say with a straight face that long-announced and relatively minor adjustments in an AP course outline create an immediate threat to public peace, health, and safety? That there is, in fact, an EMERGENCY along those lines? 

Emergencies

Here’s a different definition of ‘emergency’ I’d suggest instead: Oklahoma begins undermining Advanced Placement across the state, making it harder for our students to get into college or to be prepared for college when they do. On the outside chance we create some sort of off-brand faux-AP course, no one not required by state law to do so would acknowledge it as legit. Believe what you like about the College Board – they get kids ready for college and help get them in, whether through test scores or by simply having taken the courses.

Oklahoma is at the bottom of every educational scale – funding, outcomes, reputation. I get that no one in political leadership gives the tiniest fake damn about me or my kids or what any of us are trying to accomplish. I long ago gave up asking for improvement or support. But are we really going to try so very hard to find bizarre new ways to make it even worse? 

The House version of the bill is even longer and weirder. I’ll get to it soon, I hope.

OkEd, get well soon – this is too much for me to ‘shoulder.’ 

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Meet Senator Brecheen, Part II – Books on the Bonfire

Brecheen on Beck

I’ve been sharing some thoughts on Senator Brecheen lately as background to understanding his recent attack on Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) courses in Oklahoma.

There are perfectly valid debates to be had over the specifics of APUSH here and elsewhere, and I myself am a big fan of challenging and questioning our assumptions and uses of ANY given terminology, program, assessment, etc. 

But that’s not what I’m seeing from the Senator so far. 

I don’t yet have access to written or videotaped comments by the Senator on this specific bill, but thanks to his love of YouTube I do have a trove on something similar. As you may know, the Senator was vehemently anti-Common Core – not because of its pedagogy, the unclear means of assessment, poor implementation, or even its perceived exacerbation of equity and access issues. 

No, his main gripe was that it (a) came with lots of federal money, and (b) required our socialist children to rape one another for the glory of the devil in order to graduate. 

I may have the exact phrasing a bit off on that second one – I’ve been watching too much political discussion lately and clear, accurate language is not the norm. 

He addresses the first point in this rather laborious interview with Glenn Beck:

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Several things jump out at me from this. The first is that Brecheen was afraid the feds were going to take away staples of Oklahoma education like the A-F Report Cards, the new TLE system, our own high-stakes testing, etc. It’s important to remember that he thinks these are the GOOD parts of what we’re currently doing. 

The second is that Brecheen finds it silly to make an issue of a few zillion dollars of educational funding. Apparently Oklahoma spends five ooglecrillion dollars every DAY on those edu-whiners, so no one’s gonna notice one way or the other if we add or subtract a few billion here or there. 

That was the part that most made me want to smack everyone involved. It’s especially odd that very similar dollar amounts are apparently absolutely ESSENTIAL to the SURVIVAL of core industries in the state when it’s time to cut taxes on the wealthiest slivers of our population yet again.

Then again, they’re “job-creators”, as opposed to whatever it is we do in ‘public school’. 

Finally, Brecheen and what’s-his-name smile and nod in agreement with Beck when he claims that states who accept federal money with rules attached are whores. I’m curious as to whether Beck, Brecheen, and what’s-his-name believe this is only true in reference to education dollars, or if it applies equally to funding for highways and other infrastructure, health care, military bases or related industries, etc. 

I’m not looking to wage the Common Core war again. I AM suggesting that, as a history teacher, I tend to look to the past to illuminate the present. Brecheen is pushing legislation to save us from another boogeyman. Knowing whether he’s lying, insane, or just making it all up as he goes can better prepare us to respond this time around. 

Besides, one area of heated criticism in recent months is the connection between Common Core and College Board, the organization behind AP and the SAT. Google “David Coleman” if you’d like a fun read or two (thousand) along those lines. Good times! 

So, let’s continue with the Senator’s concerns over Common Core implementation: 

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OK – I gotta confess that IS a little scary. Prentice Hall and “Pearsons” running everything does terrify me a bit. And we can add ‘edu-company’ names to the list of things the Senator appropriates for his own purposes without actually getting them right – along with scripture, how baseball works, and Common Core materials.

The “suggested reading” to which he refers is from Appendix B to the ELA Standards of Common Core. He highlights Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, which is on Page 152 of the document.

Page 2, on the other hand – and note this is the FIRST PAGE OF THE DOCUMENT after the fancy title and cover art – BEGINS this way: 

Not A List

If he thinks they’re up to something, fine – but let’s not call it the “Suggested Reading List” if that’s explicitly what it claims NOT to be. I understand that facts and details can be inconvenient, but this renders them no less relevant, Senator.

Flip ahead 150 pages or so and you’ll find the entry causing him such concern: 

Morrison Excerpt

Clearly these aren’t the dirty parts. So here’s a fascinating question… 

How many of these pages and pages of titles did the Senator and his staff have to locate and peruse and – god forbid – READ in order to come up with an explicit scene like this? How tickled must they have been to have finally found those vaginas and genitals! Reminds me of the early days of internet searching when you’d finally –

Actually, never mind. That’s not my point. My point is that when facts and irritating details don’t fit his predetermined narrative, Senator Brecheen is happy to go to any lengths necessary to make them fit, or at least pretend they do.

My point is that his convictions aren’t shaped by reality; his reality is shaped by his conviction.

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I don’t really have anything for that clip – it just cracks me up. Reminds me of Steve Allen reading rock’n’roll lyrics in the 1950’s:

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Personally, I’m opposed to dirty books – especially in school. I’m a firm believer that we should avoid anything in history or literature that might make students with complicated lives feel at all connected to what they’re reading or who they’re studying. 

First off, they shouldn’t have dysfunctional lives in the first place. I know it’s not technically their fault if they do, but they should have the courtesy to suppress and deny it like we did for hundreds of years and it worked JUST FINE. Second, just because their lives have unpleasant or painful elements doesn’t mean I should have to understand anything about what that must be like, or expect my ‘good’ students to stretch themselves with that sort of insight or empathy.

Since when is school about challenging pre-existing experiences and beliefs about ourselves and our worlds? How is THAT going to help them on the state tests? 

I’d personally prefer we stick to nice safe happy books of how things should be and how everyone should feel. That way we have elusive, unreachable ideals to which all students can aspire. Since they’ll never reach a point where their lives or efforts can even begin to live up to the fictions we perpetuate, they’re far more likely to allow those who sound like they’ve made it to tell them what to do, or – if we’re lucky – to give up altogether.

I just can’t see a down side. 

But that’s irrelevant in the current APUSH argument. Unless, of course, you replace ‘nice safe happy books’ with ‘over-deified white guys no one can possibly relate to and flashy sanitized fireworks versions of complex events’. 

Then, I guess, it’s the same damn thing for the exact same reasons. Fear, entrenched power, venom…

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Way to bring it all home, there, Senator! The conflation of Joshua and Elijah followed by the reminder that the 10th Amendment protects “conservative Christian values.” In a way, it’s the perfect conclusion – once you have the course laid for your crusade, don’t worry about what stuff actually says or does or means. Just GO for it, knowing that those who question you need not be answered – they need merely be damned. 

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Meet Senator Josh Brecheen, Part I: Fire From Heaven

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What a go-getter! “You have to take what’s thrown at you.”

Except you don’t – at least not in the context he’s chosen for his little melodrama. That’s why they give you a glove. So you can catch stuff. Just letting it bonk off your face is either reckless or clueless.

You’re doing it wrong.

I’d let it go as just local political ad silliness, except it so perfectly represents how Brecheen uses whatever props are at his disposal – baseball equipment, Common Core documents, random phrases from scripture, etc. He straps them on and has a little morality play, but one whose meaning is predetermined by his unwavering agenda – not by anything his props actually do, or say, or mean.

I’m not suggesting he’s necessarily dishonest. It’s entirely possible he’s genuinely that ignorant and self-deceiving. I’d like to give him benefit of the doubt, however, and assume he’s merely cynical and exploitative, twisting the weaknesses of those he serves to promote his own agenda. I’m optimistic that way.

You may remember the Senator’s famous diatribe against Common Core some time back on the floor of the Oklahoma Senate:

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Weighty rhetoric. I can only wonder… WTF? What is he even SAYING?

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I’ve no wish to challenge the assumption that Old Testament excerpts are an appropriate basis for educational legislation, but at least use them correctly.

“I’m amazed people don’t know this.” Yeah, me too, Senator – especially when they’re reading it into the record. When relying on a holy book largely centered around a God so particular that minor violations often led to severe illness or the deaths of everyone you love, perhaps a little accuracy would be in order.

“Choose this day who ya who ya gonna serve” is not Elijah – it was said by Joshua in the 24th chapter of his own book in the Old Testament, not long before he died. Elijah DID ask, “How long will you waver before two opinions?” which is a similar sentiment, but said in a very different context.

Joshua was speaking to the chosen people of God at the end of a long period of relatively good times. His question was part of an extended recount of all the ways they’d been blessed by God, not from anything they’d done, but simply by being born into the right demographic. It could be paraphrased as “so you can keep going with the system that’s worked out fairly well for you and left everyone else pretty much damned, or turn your back on a good thing and suck along with them.”

This is not mockery of God or the Hebrew children, by the way – it’s just that the rules were different back then. It was a harsher time with harsher gods, and a favorite source of inspiration for those today who find the inclusiveness and self-deprivation of the New Testament rather nice in theory, but annoying in practice. So… we quote the Old Testament.

A lot.

Even if not always taken literally, it offers nice analogies for people doing pretty well today based on being born into the right demographic but believing they must really have accomplished something, and who feel spiritually or morally superior, seeing as how things seem to keep turning out so well for them – unlike those… ‘others’.

So, yeah – I see the appeal of this for Senator Brecheen. But keep your Bible straight, son.

The story to which he intentionally refers is Elijah on Mount Carmel, as told in I Kings 18. Elijah is never a happy prophet. He’s not generally welcome anywhere he goes because he’s always criticizing the way leadership is doing things. He speaks a bit bluntly and sometimes people have no idea what he’s talking about, but his words have power.

I’m a fan.

At Carmel he’s pissed because the folks who are supposed to be running the government are repeatedly shown to be self-absorbed, lying, hypocritical bastards. They exploit and use those in their care, and serve gods of convenience and worldly pleasures rather than Yahweh – the “love your neighbor and don’t be a perv” alternative.

Senator Bercheen successfully cast Common Core as Baal – a twist he’d have been able to identify as “irony” if he’d been schooled in its ten ‘Anchor Standards of Reading’, especially #4. (See what I did there? I cited my source accurately and used it in context to support my point. That’s the kind of anti-American time-wasting I’m doing in class instead of having my kids memorize Emma Lazarus.)

But, let’s go with that – Common Core is Baal. We’ll even let Bercheen be Elijah – who calls down literal fire from heaven to consume the sacrifices being offered. He then orders the losers to be chased down and murdered with swords – literally, in Elijah’s case, but hopefully metaphorically in the case of education reform.

But what a mindset! We’re not debating pedagogy; we’re destroying the unclean who refuse to follow our dogma.

It wasn’t my example, folks – I’m just cleaning up the record. And it’s irrelevant at this point whether you liked Common Core or not – that’s not the issue. The issue is the character, methods, and goals of Senator Josh Brecheen and his ilk. If men of good conscience and some awareness wish to debate what’s best for our children, let’s have that discussion all day long. If they wish to sweep aside reason and experience to play the trump card of holy justice, then save it for the Middle Ages. 

And before you accuse me of being too unfair, everying I’m using is from HIS YouTube channel and videos HE’S chosen to represent himself to the people.  

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You know it just got real when the dramatic strings drop out and it’s just the reverb drums for awhile. It goes on for minutes and minutes, but this was my favorite bit:

Flaming Children Bad Grammar

Totes adorbs on the little helly-flames for SFC! Burn, you anti-Josh f*ckers, burn! Our little Elijah certainly is a feisty fella’.

Too bad there’s not a Stand for Grammar group he gets along with. They could help with the sentence structure.

Brecheen does have some fans, however:

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Hey hey hey! He certainly seems down-home values to me.

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Well, there you go, then.

Brecheen may believe he’s standing up for truth and justice and such. He just thinks those who disagree with him are hell-bound, at least metaphorically.

That’s no excuse for not getting your facts straight, however – whether in regards to the scripture you’re quoting or the curriculum standards you’re opposing. Next time I’ll finish looking at his convoluted condemnation of Common Core as a tool not of poor pedagogy or even Corporate Edu-takeover, but as a plot to turn your kids into little perverts having much better sex than you. After that we should probably break down the APUSH bills themselves and try to figure out which parts are openly insane, and which are thinly veiled harbingers of bigger, weirder things.

Some even weirder than this:

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