Follow The Yellow Brick Road

Wiz Book CoverIn 1900, L. Frank Baum published The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, a children’s book he wasn’t convinced would do particularly well – not compared to his fabulous Mother Goose and Father Goose collections a few years prior. Turns out it was a hit, and spawned multiple stage versions – usually musicals – and thirteen written sequels by Baum. 

It was also turned into one very odd black and white silent film in 1925, directed by and starring a man with the very unfortunate name “Larry Semon.” 

Egads.

The story was thus already pretty well-known when MGM released the vehicle by which most of us became acquainted with the Land of Oz – the 1939 Judy Garland film responsible for getting “follow FOLLOW follow FOLLOW…” stuck in our heads. After CBS decided to show it pretty much annually from 1956 until hell freezes over, in a time of three and only three major networks, it became a staple of Americana.

In the mid-1960’s, an educator by the name of Henry Littlefield published a piece arguing that The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was in fact an allegory of sorts – that in the spirit of Gulliver’s Travels or Animal Farm, Baum’s innocent tale was actually commentary on politics and economic policy in the late 19th century. 

L. Frank Baum

I’m no expert, but those who are find it highly unlikely Baum intended any such thing. Then again, I care very little what he INTENDED when he wrote it; I’m of the school that once an author releases his work into the world, it’s no longer his to control. If I want to use it as a ‘Parable of Populism’ – to make the history and fiscal disputes of the day a bit more palatable to teenagers – that’s damn well what I’m going to do.

Take that, dead writer guy.

It doesn’t take much Googling to find Littlefield’s essay or dozens of sites sharing their own variations. For those of you who aren’t quite THAT interested, but may nevertheless feel mildly curious enough to at least finish THIS post, the highlights go something like this:

The Scarecrow = Midwestern Farmers. While not considered particularly intellectual, they were smart in practical and stubborn ways. No matter how often they were knocked down or otherwise disassembled, they bounced back time and again. What they needed was to recognize this in themselves – they’d had it all along, you see. 

“You see,” he continued confidentially, “I don’t mind my legs and arms and body being stuffed, because I cannot get hurt. If anyone treads on my toes or sticks a pin into me, it doesn’t matter, for I can’t feel it. But I do not want people to call me a fool, and if my head stays stuffed with straw instead of with brains, as yours is, how am I ever to know anything?”

Dorothy's FriendsThe Tin Man = Northeastern Factory Workers. Having slaved away under dehumanizing conditions for so long, they’d essentially lost their souls – their hearts – the parts which make us most human. Upton Sinclair would capture this less festively a few years later in The Jungle, a book he intended to be about the factory-driven destruction of the human spirit and instead ended up being about how gross sausage is. Meat-packing was reformed; factory labor continued to kill the human spirit for another few generations. 

I thought I had beaten the Wicked Witch… [but] she thought of a new way to kill my love for the beautiful Munchkin maiden, and made my axe slip again, so that it cut right through my body, splitting me into two halves. Once more the tinsmith came to my help and made me a body of tin, fastening my tin arms and legs and head to it, by means of joints, so that I could move around as well as ever. But, alas! I had now no heart… 

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The Lion = William Jennings Bryan. Before he went down in history as they guy who argued for Biblical values and against monkey-men in the infamous Scopes Trials, Bryan was THE voice of the Populist movement – and their candidate for President in both 1896 and 1900. His ‘roar’ had great impact on the farmers of the Midwest but far too little on the factory workers of the Northeast. He lost both times.

…[T]here came from the forest a terrible roar, and the next moment a great Lion bounded into the road. With one blow of his paw he sent the Scarecrow spinning over and over to the edge of the road, and then he struck at the Tin Woodman with his sharp claws. But, to the Lion’s surprise, he could make no impression on the tin, although the Woodman fell over in the road and lay still.

Dorothy = ???  Dorothy is our protagonist, our ‘everyman’. She need not represent anything or anyone other than us, the reader, responsible for our role in confronting the realities around us without the power to fully control any of them single-handedly. Some argue she’s an echo of Mary Elizabeth Lease, a rather vocal lecturer and writer who argued for women’s suffrage and temperance but was best known for her passionate orations in defense of populism. This may be hinted at in Judy Garland’s Dorothy, but the child in the original text isn’t the “raise less corn and more hell!” type by any stretch. 

Dorothy & ShoesThe Yellow Brick Road = The Gold Standard. It’s an almost sacred path to the Emerald City, but one fraught with inconsistency and danger. There are pitfalls and surprises, and even substantial gaps prohibiting all but the most creative travelers for going forward. But, when you add…

The Silver Slippers + The Yellow Brick Road = Bimetallic Standard. NOW we’re talking!

At that moment Dorothy saw lying on the table the silver shoes that had belonged to the Witch of the East. “I wonder if they will fit me,” she said to Toto. “They would be just the thing to take a long walk in, for they could not wear out.” She took off her old leather shoes and tried on the silver ones, which fitted her as well as if they had been made for her.

The folks at MGM were clearly unconcerned with allegorical monetary policy when they opted to give Dorothy ruby slippers to better demonstrate the glories of the relatively new ‘Technicolor’ of the day. You can’t trust Hollywood, children! If they’ll lie about shoe color, they’ll lie about ANYTHING!

The Wizard / The Emerald City = The President and Washington, D.C.  The consummate politician, the man behind the curtain presents himself with a different face to whoever he’s speaking at the time. His power is based on illusion and on the willingness of the people around him to believe. Mandatory eyewear is locked on every citizen or visitor to maintain the illusion of green – wealth, growth, and envy – and while Oz lacks a real power source such as gas, it has plenty of hot air. Enough to power a balloon ride back to Omaha. 

First they came to a great hall in which were many ladies and gentlemen of the court, all dressed in rich costumes. These people had nothing to do but talk to each other, but they always came to wait outside the Throne Room every morning, although they were never permitted to see Oz…

The Witches = Support from N/S, Opposition from E/W – particularly the moneyed interests of the Northeast and the Railroads and other large scale owners in the west. In the Presidential Elections of 1896 and 1900, most of Bryan’s support came – if you view the results with sufficient preconceptions – from the North and the South. McKinley won due to support from the West and the East. If you look at it the maps just… right…

Election Maps

That’s the thing, though – once you’re looking for the allegory, it’s everywhere. Dorothy is constantly seeking and needing clean water, a primary obsession with any homesteader or farmer of the day. Water is what finally destroyed the Wicked Witch of the West, who primarily sends nature’s own dangers to thwart Dorothy and her friends. The Populist Party was born in Omaha, Nebraska – the birthplace of the Wizard once he’s no longer a political fraud and goes back to being a well-intentioned, if ineffective, travelling performer. 

Soon the backstory of the flying monkeys seems to parallel the plight of American Indians and the field of poppies seems to have something to do with China and the people who break so easily are the postbellum South and – 

It kinda takes on a life of its own.

QuadlingsOn the other hand, there are plenty of events which even the most creative mind can’t reasonably tie to history or populism. The Quadlings who lack arms but fire their heads at you on long necks are a fascinating obstacle, and the fragile ‘china people’ are far more poignant once you drop the weak ‘unreconstructed South’ connection. And how many varieties of ‘the little people’ (or field mice or Winkies or…) can one book have before it no longer makes sense to label them all with the same Jacksonian value?

If it’s an allegory, it’s a rather inconsistent one. 

It could, of course, be both – partly inspired by events of the day, partly rounded out as a colorful children’s tale. Just because the latest Captain America or Batman movies don’t strictly mirror current events doesn’t mean they don’t have plenty to say about our national ideals and choices in a time of perpetual ‘war on terror’. 

But as I said, I don’t care. It’s a tool, and as long as it helps make bimetallism, third party politics, and the plight of the Midwestern farmer a bit more palatable for my darlings, I’ll just keep trotting it out – without shame. I could go looking for some better answer, some amazing new solution instead, but… seems to me in this case the thing I most need has been with me all along. 

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Singing Bi, Bi, For Our Money Supply…

William Jennings BryanThe Populist Party reached their zenith in the 1890’s. Although they won state and local elections here and there, before and after this decade, their only real shot at the Presidency came in the Elections of 1896 and 1900. Both times they ran William Jennings Bryan as their candidate, and both times the Democratic Party gave in and joined them in the nomination.

Both times they were defeated by Republican William McKinley. So, that must have sucked for them.

Historians argue (as historians love to do) about the extent to which Populism impacted the Progressive movement a few decades later or the New Deal after that, but the cause/effect relationship between them isn’t nearly as important as the underlying question behind ALL of them:

How much should the government help? How do we balance freedom – including personal liberty and capitalistic choice – with security? Even assuming the government has the ability to deftly swoop in and regulate the economy and interactions of a nation into perfectly balanced equity, is this a good idea?

Harry Under StairsI mean, Harry Potter was safe and secure at the Dursley’s under the stairs – literally and completely. No harm could come to him. As the series progressed, he grew increasingly autonomous and faced greater and greater danger. Finally, released even from the rules of Hogwarts or the direction of Dumbledore – completely and totally independent – he frickin’ DIES!

Er… at least for a bit.

The same tension exists in owning a dog, managing a school, or legislating a nation. Too many restrictions stifle growth, maturity, progress, and basic fun. Too few, and it’s chaos. 

I Feed You AllNot that most American farmers in the late 19th century were pondering such abstractions. Mostly they’d joined their voices – and their votes – to demand a few basic policy changes to compensate for what they perceived as gross imbalance in the economic order of things. They didn’t see themselves as wanting ‘help’ so much as fighting to remove cancers in the system.

What did they want?

First, government regulation (or even ownership) of railroads, telegraphs, banks, etc. – anything so ubiquitous as to essentially be a public utility. In the same way government today regulates the companies providing gas, water, or electric in your home, they considered certain services too essential to be left to the whims and biases of the free market. 

Second, they wanted a progressive income tax. Under a flat tax, everyone paid the same percentage of their income. You made $10,000 this year? Pay ten percent. You made $50,000? Ten percent. $250,000? Ten percent. Those making the least paid the least; those making the most paid the most. 

Tax ChartThe Populists wanted a weighted system. If you made $10,000 this year, you pay little, or nothing. You made $50,000? Ten percent. $250,000? Twenty percent. $1,000,000? Fifty percent. Those making the most were still left with more than everyone else, and those making the least were freed from the burden of paying at all. 

The Populists called this equitable. Those who felt they were being punished for staying in school or working hard disagreed. The basic argument continued for the next million years.

Third, and maybe biggest on the list, the Populists wanted to dramatically increase the money supply. They wanted more coins minted, and they wanted to allow paper money to be printed backed up by silver in the national treasury as well as gold. This was called a ‘bimetallic standard’ – ‘bi’, of course, meaning ‘two’.

BifocalsIf you’re a bi… cycle, you have two wheels.

If you’re bi… lingual, you speak two languages.

If you’re bi… polar, you have two emotional extremes.

If you’re bi… pedal, you walk upright, on two feet.

If you’re bi… 

Huh. I can’t think of any other examples. But you get the idea.

In any case, today all paper money is backed up by the ‘full faith and credit of the federal government’ – so THAT should make us all feel MUCH, MUCH better about things. But not then – then it was actual specie. Metal value. 

Silver & GoldSilver is valuable and not at all common, but it’s far more plentiful than its friend gold. The change would be dramatic. More money in circulation lowers the value of each dollar – counterintuitively helping those with less money and especially those in debt.

Explaining this in class makes everyone’s brain hurt.

Talking economics in high school is like trying to diagram sentences in another language. Students’ brains are not acclimated to this sort of information; they’ve experienced relatively little of the real world, financially speaking.

Then again, when it comes to economics, WE don’t actually know what we’re talking about half the time. Most economic theories are made up AFTER stuff happens, then applied backwards to prove that whatever happened HAD to, and explaining why – until next time, when it works differently. It can be a bit of a mess.

But imagine a student – Jacobie – shows up to class one day with a pizza box. He was in charge of snacks for Students Obesity Club that day, and has a half-dozen slices left over. 

Pizza PizzaThe food quickly draws attention and Max offers him a dollar for one of the slices. He accepts. 

Oliana buys another two at a dollar each, and as supply dwindles and more students arrive – thus increasing demand – Jacobie sells another two for a total of five dollars. He may have thrown in the last packet of parmesan for cash up front. 

As he’s about to either eat or auction off the final slice, Leena approaches him with head down but eyes coyly up. Batting her sad little lashes, she tells Jacobie that she has no money – BUT, if he’ll “loan” her this last slice of pizza – because she’s soooooo huuuunnngryyyyyy – she’ll repay him double tomorrow. 

Two hundred percent. In 24 hours.

He of course relents. The pizza is gone.

Vic has been watching this entire process, and believes he’s found the key to both popularity and prosperity. The next day, he shows up in class with a towering stack of pizza goodness – 12 full-size pizzas of various toppings – and two very nicely printed and laminated signs declaring he’s offering them today only for $2.00 per slice.

Stacks of PizzaHe sells most of the first box, but things quickly slow. Lowering the price to $1.00 helps a little, but it still looks like he’ll be stuck with 9 or 10 boxes of pizza with ten minutes to go. He panics and drops to 50 cents a slice… then a quarter… and manages to move enough that he’s only losing a little money for his troubles.

He might have broken even if he hadn’t splurged on the #$@% signs. 

Just before the bell, Leena slides up and hands him two quarters. She takes two slices of pizza in a napkin, glides sweetly over to Jacobie, and presents them to him with an appreciative smile. “Here you go – we’re even,” she states.

Has Jacobie made a profit?

On the one hand, he loaned ONE piece of pizza and was repaid with TWO. That’s doubling his investment by any definition, surely?

On the other hand, he loaned out $2.50 worth of pizza, and was repaid with 50 cents worth of pizza. Framed in those terms, he lost roughly 80% of what he put in.

So it is with paper money.

When there’s not very much of it, it’s worth more. This benefits those few who have the money – Jacobie and his limited supply of pizza. It makes things hard for everyone else, but the haves will sometimes loan to the have-nots in a gesture of goodwill and a reasonable return.

Increase the supply, and the value of each individual dollar – or slice – goes down. This benefits the masses, but hurts the people holding the pizza boxes. It particularly chafes creditors. They may be repaid, but they’re being repaid in dollars worth far less than those they loaned. The numbers say they’re making more, but the value says they’re losing – severely. 

The Populist tended to have less money, and to owe more than they had to banks and other creditors. The idea of ‘freeing up’ the money supply was quite appealing to them – ironic, in a way, given that much of their distressed circumstances sprang from overproduction of something. 

Add some silver to the existing gold reserves, and we have a path to prosperity – a road along which anything might be possible. And you can bring your dysfunctional singing friends, too.

Ease On Down The Road

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Let’s Have A (Populist) Party!

Farm Machine

I stopped to ask him what the machine was and what it did. He told me it was a manure spreader – a ‘sh*tslinger’, he said. 

Oh! It’s a big ol’ thing, isn’t it? I asked.

Well, he explained, it takes a LOT of sh*t to make stuff grow.

Isn’t THAT the truth, I thought. Always. 

Farmers in the late 19th century were frustrated.

To be fair, some of their struggles were not entirely unexpected. As the west ‘filled up’ with white homesteaders, choice farmland was increasingly rare. The U.S. Government had run out of peoples to remove, and even at their most Manifestly Destined could find no justification for another war with Mexico. 

Westward ExpansionThe 1890 Census would soon declare the frontier ‘closed’, to the chagrin of men like Frederick Jackson Turner who believed the westward struggle against nature and deprivation both defined and strengthened American character. Things were so desperate that white guys began looking lustfully at Oklahoma as their last best hope – the same ‘Indian Territory’ (I.T.) to whom the bulk of surviving Amerindians had been forcibly removed. 

I.T. had been chosen both for its distance from existing ‘civilization’ and the tacit assumption it represented the most god-forsaken plot of unloveable soil on the continent. Now it was being eyed with a desire born of desperation and a few hopeful shots of delusion. By 1889, the first sections were being opened to white settlement via land run, and eventually Oklahoma would become the 46th State of the Union. 

But not yet. 

As the century approached another turn, farmers across the Great Plains – even those in slightly more cooperative climes than Oklahoma’s – were enduring hard times. This was not unprecedented, but it did seem to be persisting – and advances in both literacy and communication facilitated an awareness that not everyone seemed to be sharing similar struggles. 

Oklahoma TerritoryIt wasn’t always a lack of production. Many farmers across the Plains were quite successful – at least in the traditional sense. They were growing and raising more good stuff than ever before! Wheat! Corn! Cotton! Moo-cows! Chickens! Tomatoes! Quiche! 

But thanks to the laws of supply and demand, the more they raised, the lower the selling price. That’s great for those purchasing, but suck city for those producing. Throw in improved agriculture in Europe, and the American farmer was in a world of hurt. 

As individualists, they reacted in an individually sensible, hard-working way – they looked to produce MORE.

HomesteadersFarmers already worked 365 days a year, sun-up to sun-down. They worked on Sundays, birthdays, Christmas, and when they were sick. They labored in the earth and cared for any animals they held, enduring drought and deluge, heat waves and freezes, in hopes of coaxing forth from the earth sustenance for themselves and the world. 

They grew and raised stuff you could eat, or wear, or – back in the day – smoke. They were useful. Heck – they were essential!

But this was a time of the ‘newer and better’ – machinery, fertilizers, and other technological wonders (“just look at this scientifically shaped point on this metal – that’s right, folks… REAL METAL – shovel!”) With ‘newer and better’, they could bring even more land into production! Purchase more acres, more machinery, more seed, more productivity – PROGRESS! 

But… this meant they’d need money. Borrowed money.

Looking east they saw a world of bankers and businessmen, of numbers and percentages, stock markets and manipulation. Men in suits, working what had already become known as “bankers’ hours” – 5 days a week minus holidays, done by mid-afternoon, and inside by the stove when it was cold or near an open window when it was hot. 

ScroogeThey didn’t actually grow anything, or produce anything your kids could eat, or wear, or even that you could smoke, drink, or otherwise enjoy. 

Instead, they scribbled in little books, mysterious ciphers covered in obscure terms, and this somehow meant they got to keep part of your money. You couldn’t for the life of your loved ones tell exactly WHAT they were doing, but you knew you needed them – they held access to loans, to financing, to equipment, seed, and survival during patient years. How did THIS make sense, they wondered? 

There’s a reason Dickens only a generation before had written Ebenezer Scrooge as a money lender (albeit a British one) – what could be more cold-hearted and useless in this life?**

It wasn’t JUST the banks, of course – farmers felt taken advantage of by railroads, the operators of grain elevators and silos, and pretty much anyone with money or influence in a system they instinctively believed warped in favor of the Ebenezers, but lacked the time or worldviews to master themselves. 

So the banks loaned money to the farmers, and the farmers purchased land and equipment. And it worked, in a sense – they became even harder-working, even more productive. They raised even MORE stuff you could eat, smoke, and wear!

A Vicious CycleWhich meant, of course, that prices went even LOWER. In some cases, less than was necessary to break even. Some couldn’t pay back their loans. So, they renegotiated, perhaps borrowed more, bought more, raised more…

See a pattern?

For the first time in American history, it seemed, a large demographic was doing everything right – they were honest, hard-working, productive, and responsible – and they were failing

Individuals had of course failed before, despite their best efforts, but individual failure can always be blamed on fate, or sin, or some personal shortcoming perhaps hidden in the mix. When the most idealized segment of American Dreamers – those whom Jefferson declared “the chosen people of God” – were facing bankruptcy and starvation, however… 

Either malicious players were subverting the system, or the system was broken. They weren’t quite ready to go full Tom Joad (“Damn right, I’m bolshevisky!”), but they were – for the first time en masse – willing to call on the one earthbound entity big enough to tackle perceived corruption and necessary correction on such a grand scale. Those who most clearly defined ‘individualism’ in the American psyche began talking, and joining together, to petition their government for a redress of grievances. 

People's Party FlyersThe Populist Party was born. 

They wanted what in their minds would be a return to a level (or fertile?) field. Government regulation or control of railroads, grain storage, even telegraphs – not to make things ‘easier’, but to make things ‘fair’. (The railroads and other owners likely quibbled over the precise definition of that term in such circumstances.) 

They also wanted to turn bi. Not just themselves, but the entire country. 

That’s probably best covered next time. 

RELATED POST: Singing Bi, Bi For Our Money Supply… 

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**I should, um… clarify for any of my creditors who might be reading this that these are not MY sentiments, of course. These are the approximated impressions of a thousand long-dead homesteaders. I love everyone the same and value our varied contributions to the Great American Melting Pot of Commerce. 

Also, I’m expecting a check and should be caught up by Monday. 

Wil Wheaton, Aquaman, and Octave Chanute

Wil WheatonWil Wheaton, for those unaware, is best known for his role as ‘Wesley Crusher’ on Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987 – 1994). He was a regular for the first four seasons, then a recurring guest for the final three. 

Every popular show has its haters and its hated, and Wheaton took a lot of flak from fans. He drew disproportionate heat in much the same way as Jar Jar Binks or every WWE Diva except Paige – not only for the character(s), but as proxy for larger issues of quality and awkwardness. 

(It’s odd how much hardcore fandom is defined by virulent loathing of everything done by that which you love. Anyone who’s ever been part of a fan base with an average age higher than 15 knows what I mean.) 

Wheaton's Law

But Wheaton was great as what he was supposed to be – an awkward teenage nerdboy on a starship. He flew the Enterprise ‘D’ during its most heart-stopping encounters with the Borg! It was HIS facial expression when Riker ordered ramming speed that brought – 

Er… what I’m saying is, he did fine. STTNG had its issues, but it was amazing more often than not once it found its footing. 

Wheaton has continued acting and doing voice work, but also writes, blogs, and shares his passions for home-crafted beers and tabletop gaming. A cursory YouTube search will give you a taste of the variety of projects in which he’s involved, and the character he brings to everything he does:

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Wheaton had every opportunity to become bitter, or burnt out, or messed up like dozens of other ‘child stars’ whose careers don’t end up being all they’d dreamed (although it might be far worse when they do). He has every reason to complain or dysfunct. 

For the most part, however, he just keeps doing his thing, remains gracious towards and about others, and stays a very real version of himself. He works everywhere doing everything, and even has his own ‘law’, like Murphy and Occam. Perhaps most importantly, he was nice to me on hockey Twitter once:

Hockey Twitter

Superfriends

Aquaman I’ve written about before. It appears that newer incarnations of this particular icon are striving for a darker, bad-asser, skater-eyes type Aqua-hero than he up with which I grew. That’s fine, but the Aquaman of which I’m writing here was the ‘also along’ – the borderline misfit. 

Superman would fly off to push the planet’s rotation in the opposite direction while Batman & Robin solved a scientific riddle and fought a few thousand destroyer-bots. Wonder Woman would take her jet to the lair of the Apocalyptic Mastermind and make him tell all while deflecting atom bombs off her bracelets. 

New Aquaman

Even the Wonder Twins and Gleek would capture someone or save something from destruction, taking the form of a gorilla and an ice castle or whatever the #$%& it was they did, exactly.

Aquaman would be sent dramatically underwater, to coordinate some octopi or other sea life and rescue a few ships or somesuch. Fine in and of itself, but usually rather lame compared to the rest of the gang. 

But he did it, sans whining. He didn’t worry about credit, or fairness, or points for style (he wore that horrible orange, for goodness’ sake). He had his role – his skill set – and that was enough.

I confess, I’m not looking forward to dark moody bad-ass Aquaman. It’s like fully armored, locked-and-loaded Gandhi coming to a big screen near you. 

Octave Chanute was a bit of a celebrity in his day as well. He was a wildly successfully engineer who built the Chicago and the Kansas City Stockyards, along with as a number of bridges and other stuff that might not be considered particularly sassy or sexy by Kardashian or Duck Dynasty standards, but were a pretty big deal in the late 19th century. His unfulfilled passion, however, was manned flight.

Octave Chanute FlyerChanute was an innovator who designed a few machines himself, but was too old to strap himself into some bizarre contraption and jump off a cliff. His greatest contribution to the field was his willingness to gather correspondence and information from all around the world regarding the aerial efforts of others. He compiled and edited specialized periodicals, and put people in touch with one another when he thought they might mutually benefit.

In other words, he acted as an internet of sorts for a sparse, oft-maligned, and diverse group of men sharing a similar vision. This ‘internet’ was seriously time and labor-intensive – handwritten with fountain pens and pulp-based white paper (another cutting edge creation of the day) – in lieu of dial-up. 

Octave ChanuteOccasionally he’d organize a dinner, or at least cigars in the den. That, I suppose, was the Skype of the day. 

Chanute sought no credit, sharing freely with anyone interested and expecting others to do the same. He was a huge source of encouragement for two guys most of us HAVE heard of – the Brothers Wright – and the means by which many contemporaries first became aware of the amazing things going on at Kitty Hawk.

Any sci-fi fan knows Wheaton, just as anyone interested in the history of aviation is familiar with Chanute. Aquaman is better known but far more misunderstood, and chances are slim the average non-comic-book-reader could tell you much about him beyond the talking to fish thing.

They are easily dismissed as B-players, also-rans – the proverbial ‘red shirts’ who inevitably beam down with Kirk and Spock but never live long enough to beam back up. They are the Mindys to other people’s Morks. They are the squiggle dash next to the ‘1’ on your keyboard – always there, always assumed, but not… you know… NOT THE ‘1’ OR THE ‘E’.

And I celebrate them. Vigorously.

Not by pumping up their roles or exaggerating their impact – that would merely compound the larger error. And not by tearing down their better-known colleagues – the Patrick Stewarts and Captain Americas of the world do amazing things, and yay for them. 

But by definition most of us will never be Dr. Who, or Wolverine, or Thomas Edison. We can love them and emulate them and buy their merchandise, but let’s not see our options – or the potential of those trusted to our care – as so tragically binary. 

CressidaAbraham Lincoln was a pretty big deal, but so were the Robert Andersons and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlains – not to mention nameless thousands who showed up and did their part. Katniss may be central to ending the Hunger Games and overthrowing President Snow, but without the talent, focus, and drive of Cressida, Messalla, and their ilk, we have an entirely different finale. 

Obviously we never strive for mediocrity, but that’s not what we’re looking at here. We’re looking at people who worked hard, accomplished much, and mattered greatly – all with grace and style. They may stand in the shadows of giants, but they are mighty nonetheless. 

More importantly, they find peace in the roles only they can fill, and refuse to allow the spotlights of others to shape their attitudes or their excellence. 

We could stand to dial back our deification of the Washingtons, the FDRs, maybe even the MLKs. No need to tear them down, but let’s not let them block the entire view.

I think that I, for one, am going to try to do a better job teaching my kids to be Wil Wheaton. Or Aquaman. Or Octave Chanute.

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Handlebars

Velocipede

Recognize this? It’s almost a bicycle. No pedals, though – just a wooden frame and wheels. The ‘velocipede’ had to be customized to the height of the rider, and could only be ridden without losing your ability to reproduce by sticking to well-maintained garden paths or other flat, soft-but-not-too-soft ground. The kind not found most places.

It was also pretty tricky to turn. You had to lean, firmly but subtly. Crashing not only hurt, but dramatically reduced whatever level of ‘suave’ you’d managed to retain while straddle-running on the damned things. 

The natural limitations on who could thus enjoy such a contraption led to the derogatory nickname “dandy-horse” – although if you spent your days frolicking on one of these, you probably didn’t care what the proletariat called you.

Sometime in the mid-19th century, pedals were added. There were no chains or gears; they were connected directly to the center of the front wheel. Variations added a third or even a fourth wheel for balance, but doing so increased the amount of work necessary to propel the beast any direction but straight downhill. 

The BoneshakerIn keeping with their love of all things dainty, the French introduced the metal frame, lighter and sturdier. Unfortunately, the large wooden wheels and lack of any sort of shock-absorbing mechanism led to another unflattering moniker: the “bone-shaker” – less foppish than ‘dandy-horse,’ but still unlikely to facilitate worldwide acceptance and marketability.

Then someone tried rubber tires. Once successful, they seemed so obvious it was hard to imagine why they’d not been used before. It had only taken a few centuries, but mankind was finally producing a bicycle that didn’t painfully rearrange your bowels every time you rode it. 

It was almost… comfortable.

This allowed riders to finally begin complaining about something new – the speed. Sure, pedals were exciting for a generation or so, but now that the frame and tires could handle – without causing permanent physical injury – velocities greater than grandma hustling to the loo, there stirred a need… for speed.

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Add some #STEM, and the solution once again seemed retrospectively self-evident:

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The ‘Ordinary’, later known as the ‘Penny-Farthing’ (due to the disparity in wheel-size, not the cost), altered the elitism of the ride. They were difficult to mount, required great athleticism to balance and propel with any authority, and even minor ruts or obstacles could stop the giant front wheel instantaneously – while the rider and the rest of the machine kept going forward over the now-motionless ginormous front wheel. 

Riders were expected to practice ‘taking a header’ in the same way other athletes practice falling correctly or reality stars practice shame and regret. Those less-interested in pain and bone-breaking could still find recourse in tricycles or quadracycles, but the cool factor was completely absent. It may have been in the negatives. 

In 1885, an Englishman by the name of John Kemp Starley transformed the centuries of absurdity and (literal) butt-hurt into a proper bicycle. He made the wheels the same size – keeping those nice rubber tubes – and based propulsion around a chain drive attaching the pedaled gears to the back wheel, leaving steering to the front wheel.

Starley Safety BicycleThe ‘Safety Bicycle’ allowed an even greater top speed than the ‘Ordinary’. More importantly, it suddenly made the bicycle easy to ride, fairly safe to steer, easier to control, lighter, and – as production increased to accommodate the wider customer base – less expensive than anything comparable prior. 

By the 1890’s, bicycles were a thing. It’s hard to imagine today, when most everyone seems to have one hanging in their garage or collecting dust in the barn. But the craze was real. It was a big – and sometimes strange – deal. We’re talking MySpace levels, or Sigue Sigue Sputnik, even. Social media when any of the half-dozen variations of The Bachelor are on – THAT level of madness. 

Because now EVERYONE could ride – yet it was still cool. The feeling of movement, and speed, was unlike anything most had ever experienced – and without the need to purchase a ticket or build a barn. The ‘Safety’ was so accessible even WOMEN could ride – and ride they did. 

It really kinda got outta control.

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Forsaking long, bulky skirts for practical attire – in some cases even PANTS – women discovered a sense of freedom beyond what they’d believed possible. In addition to fueling a push for better roads, feeding economic growth, promoting health and the outdoors, and simultaneously increasing a sense of community and mobility without apparent irony, the insane popularity of the bicycle also propelled the women’s movement in a way nothing intentional could have.

Suffrage was likely inevitable, but that chain drive and those symmetrical tires shaved the wait by a generation or two.

Kids' BicyclesThere are bicycles to suit pretty much any type of rider today – any gender, race, nationality, or income level – but by and large they’re all traceable back to that first ‘Safety’.  I suppose we should pay appropriate homage to its ancestors as well – but many are rather awkward to consider. 

How could it have taken THAT long to come up with… the bicycle? It doesn’t seem so complex… two wheels, a seat, and a pedal with a few gears? Oh – and that chain. The parts matter little if we lack the proper connections between them – if we can’t transfer our energy and effort into productive motion in our chosen direction. 

Education in the modern use of the term can be traced back to a wide variety of sources, depending on how you figure it. It’s safe to say, however, that most iterations – while presumably the best anyone could come up with at the time – seem rather awkward in retrospect. Most look rather painful, actually.

The incarnations with the most potential – and thus those whose popularity lasted the longest – served only those most able to afford the ideal conditions necessary to enjoy them: the right socio-economic status, a proper upbringing and mindset, and, well… being a smarmy white guy. 

The vehicle changed, but each revolution solved one problem by creating another… until J.K. Starley. 

In a way, he created an entirely new machine. At the same time, it was undeniably based on all that rolled by before.  

Horse CycleSuddenly something of great potential but limited use, realistic only for a few, became accessible. The experience reached for by a select minority in prior generations was suddenly not only possible, but intoxicating. It was fun. It was freeing. And it was so good for you – body, mind, and soul.

It’s an analogy, you see – bicycles and education. (I point that out because not all of you have had the same bicycle.)

No one had to be required to ride, and certainly no one was denied the opportunity – the seats adjusted easily and variations abounded for whatever your personal styles or needs. You still had to work to make it go; the more you pedal, the further you get. But with a few gears, anyone can get anywhere with a little effort and patience – even if it takes some a bit longer than others.

The modern bicycle changed something for almost everyone, and everything for some. It offered unlimited opportunity for anyone willing to pedal – and for a while, EVERYONE wanted to pedal.

Well?

This... Green Thing

RELATED POST – Women on Wheels: The Bicycle & The Women’s Movement of the 1890’s (from AnnieLondonderry.com)

RELATED POST – Bicycle History & Invention (from BicycleHistory.net)