The Gettysburg Address, Part Three (Lincoln’s Big ‘But’)

Gettysburg Address CopyThis one’s a little longer than I normally like – a fact which isn’t exactly helped by adding 54 words up front to tell you so. I wanted to wrap this one up, but couldn’t bring myself to cut more than I already have. For the #11FF actually plowing through these with me, my apologies

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation — or any nation so conceived and so dedicated — can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. 

BUT –

This may be the most powerful word in the English language. This ‘but’, at least, is a BIG, BIG BUT. And it belongs to President Lincoln.

Sir Mix A LotI like it, and I cannot lie.

“Gary, you’re such a great guy. You’re funny, you’re smart, and it’s been such an amazing past four months together. Any girl would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend… BUT-“ 

You know what’s coming, don’t you? 

“Ms. Terry, we appreciate your hard work over the past year and your creativity with kids. You’ve handled some tough circumstances as you prepared them for their CRTs… BUT-“

‘But’ can overturn everything that’s come before. Whatever follows is often MORE powerful as a result, like pulling back on the rubber band before letting it go. Here, Lincoln uses his big ‘but’ to take his message an entirely different direction suddenly and powerfully. 

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate — we cannot consecrate — we cannot hallow — this ground.  

Rubber Band Hand GunWhat beautiful sentence structure. He’s already hit us with repeated uses of ‘dedicate’ in the opening segment. Either he needs a thesaurus, or he’s intentionally layering in a theme before becoming more specific with his thesis. 

In class, we stop to define ‘dedicate’, and I ask for examples of things commonly dedicated – a tree, a book, a building, a scholarship in someone’s memory. ‘Dedicate’ can be pretty intense, like the baby dedication I mentioned last time, or mostly fun, like requesting a song on the radio for Marcia Stiflewagon, who looks awkward in a dress but kinda hot in her weightlifting gear. 

Then Lincoln takes it up a notch. ‘Consecrate’. We define this as well. There are fewer examples of things commonly ‘consecrated’ – sacramental bread, wine, marriages, etc. It’s getting’ all spiritual up in Gettysburg – and they were only about 90 seconds into his speech.

The Deathly Hallows

And there’s a third and final step.

We can’t ‘hallow’ this ground either. That’s a tough one. No one uses this word in normal conversation. Given some prodding, students will connect ‘Halloween,’ although they don’t generally know where that comes from either. Some reference Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – that kinda brushes the concept for which we’re reaching.

When I was a kid, every day during announcements we recited the Lord’s Prayer, right after the Pledge of Allegiance. (I know, I know – it was a different time and place, and no one thought much of it, at least not that I was aware.) And of course we used the King James version, which began like this:

“Our Father, which art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name…” 

Eucharist

The name of Jehovah (Yahweh) was so sacred, one did not commonly say it aloud. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t draw cartoons of Mohammed, and you don’t speak this particular name of God lightly – let alone ‘in vain’. Like touching the Ark of the Covenant or entering the Holy of Holies without proper cleansing, some things were so divine as to be dangerous.  

Holy can be serious business.  

So we came here to dedicate this ground, and that’s fine. But really… we can’t. Can’t dedicate it. (*up a notch*) Can’t consecrate it. (*up another*) Can’t hallow this ground. 

We’re suddenly in sanctified territory – and rather unexpectedly. Why, Mr. President? Why can’t we do this? 

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.  

Holy of HoliesThis part is difficult for my kids. Even those who are Sunday-go-to-Meetin’ types don’t really do much super-sacred any more. We talk about what these ‘brave men’ must have done to ‘consecrate’ that ground. They came, they fought, they died, all for a hypothesis about men being created equal, according to Lincoln.

All of this is true, and all important.

But more specifically, most of them shed their blood. They bled into the soil – literally. And in the Christian faith (for by now it’s obvious this is Lincoln’s chosen framework), blood has power. 

In the Old Testament, sin and failure were purged through animal sacrifice. The rules regarding what you could and couldn’t do with blood were rather detailed. In the New, it was Jesus on the Cross who offers redemption. Subsequent discussions of this sacrifice often specifically reference the shedding of blood, and if you came back in time with me to that little church where I grew up, you’d find us singing about it all the time.

Church Singing“Would you be free from your burden of sin? There’s POWER in the BLOOD, POWER in the BLOOD…” 

“Are you washed in the Blood? In the soul-cleansing blood of the Lamb?” 

“What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus…” 

Lincoln is calling up the most sacred imagery of the Christian faith – one everyone in his audience understood and most practiced on at least a superficial level. He’s declaring the soil on which they stand – in which these men were now buried – to be ‘consecrated’ by the blood spilled there defending this hypothesis.

“We’re here with words, and songs, and good intentions, sure!” he says. “But they DIED here, violently and valiantly, for this cause. What in the world could we add with some WORDS?” 

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.  

Did Lincoln know this was ironic when he said it? I have no idea. 

So, Mr. President… why ARE we here? 

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain –

Baby AmericaThat’s a mouthful, and the hardest part for students to memorize when they’re reciting it to the class for extra credit. Lincoln’s word-weaving turns the purpose of the occasion, the war, and the entire nation inside out – bringing to the foreground the ideals we still espoused, but had long since negated through abuse and neglect. 

These men died for something, and now continuing that something is on US. On YOU. The power of martyrdom multiplied by the thousands, and the obligations of a loved one’s final wishes, combined on sacred ground. Dedicated, dedicated, devotion, devotion, resolve not died in vain.

Put down your corn dogs and tiny Union flags, kids – the President just called us out. And he did it without actually saying anything we didn’t already agree with. 

Baby ‘Merica was born 87 years ago, in Liberty, and dedicated to a hypothesis – that all men are created equal. In youth, it was noble and pure and full of the idealism captured in the Declaration of Independence – our national birth certificate. Growing pains brought complications, and it began compromising those ideals for the most pragmatic reasons… little realizing that such leaven almost always leavens the entire loaf.

And now, through war with ourselves, we’ve died. Many literally, the rest emotionally and spiritually. Blood has washed the ground, re-consecrating us and making possible the realization of that hypothesis – we CAN build and maintain a nation founded on the principle that all men are created equal. 

that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom –  

Easter BunniesLazarus, John Baptizing in the Jordan, Jesus emerging from the tomb – it’s all about the rebirth, baby. There’s a reason we hunt eggs (of all things) on Easter. 

We were born once, but we ate the apple of vanity and compromise, and died. Now it’s time to be ‘born again’.  

and that government of the people, by the people, for the people,

Which people?

WHICH PEOPLE? He never says it, but it couldn’t be more clear.

shall not perish from the earth. 

For those of you who aren’t Sunday-go-to-Meetin’ types, things are different once you’re born again. You’re purified, more true to what you were created to be, and you don’t die a second time.

And you don’t keep it to yourself. You try to pass along the good news to others – that any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can in fact ‘long endure’.

Afterward: I couldn’t end on such a positive note without acknowledging my grief and disappointment where we are 150 years later after all of that. As the Israelites longed to go back to Egypt (for the onions, no less), as dogs return to their vomit and pigs to wallow in their mud, we seem to cling as a nation to the same vanity, hypocrisy, and violence which took us into that war. I don’t have an answer or wish to be a downer, but I couldn’t wrap up in good conscience without expressing that I love the speech, I love the ideals, I love the nation – but in so many ways we’re further than ever from what we proclaim to be. It hurts my innards to contemplate.

G.A. Incomplete

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part One (After Everett)

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part Two (Dedicated to a Proposition)

The Gettysburg Address, Part Two (Dedicated to a Proposition)

Lincoln LooserWhen I talk about this speech in workshops, I never know how much to assume teachers already know, or whether my ‘givens’ and their ‘givens’ are likely to be compatible. We cover so many different things in so many different ways… there’s very little we can assume to be universal in Social Studies content knowledge (or pedagogy, for that matter). And that’s OK.

It’s much less complicated with students, who are gracious enough to hardly know anything ever – even if we’ve actually covered it explicitly only moments before!

All to say, this is just my take on the speech. It’s not exactly original – I mean, I read books from time to time and pick up things here and there – but I don’t think I’ve lifted it whole from any one source. If I’m mistaken, please let me know so I can give credit where due. The uninterrupted text is in the previous post if you wish to revisit before proceeding. I’ll wait.

*tap tap tap tap tap tap*

OK?

Four score and seven years ago,

We all know this one, right? If ‘score’ = 20, then ‘four score’ = 80… plus 7, 87 years ago. Lincoln gave this speech in 1863, so a little basic math takes us to 1776. Duh.

This matters because Lincoln COULD have talked about the Constitution, ratified around 1788. That was, after all, the document we were supposedly at war defending – the one purporting to form a ‘more perfect union’ than the rather anemic Articles of Confederation which it replaced. But he didn’t.

Lincoln points instead to the year of the Declaration of Independence – the ‘birth’ of our nation and a written statement not only of rebellion, but of ideals. The Constitution has rules about running for the Senate and requiring the various states to play nicely together; the Declaration proclaims all men are created equal, and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights. The Constitution is functional, but birthed in compromise and politics. The Declaration is idealistic and uninterested in practicalities – it glows and pretty music plays whenever we close our eyes and call its name three times.

our fathers

Lincoln BiologyWhy do we call them our ‘fathers’? What makes someone a ‘father’?

I’m not looking for one of those deep, Level Three, English class answers (“What color is honor? What food would gerunds be if books were meals?”). Biologically – literally – what’s the difference between a ‘dude’ and a ‘dad’?

That’s right – offspring. Making bebbies.

brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty,

Conceived? I always ask what this word means, and we take a bit to discuss.

My students are all in Biology class the same year I have them for American Government. That means at some point they’ll be shown the most fascinating little film. A gang of angry tadpoles, possibly albinos, are chasing down and attacking a golf ball which has presumably done them wrong. Eventually, one will break through, and go in to ransack the place while the rest lose interest and wander off to die. These are very single-minded albino tadpoles.

THAT moment – that’s “conception.” 

It’s different from birth, although we often use them interchangeably. But ‘conceived’ is that earliest moment of new life – and it matters where and how you’re conceived. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it does. If your parents are rich, you’ll gestate differently than if they’re poor. If your parents are Eskimos, chances are good you’ll be Eskimo-ish before even being born.  And if you’re the result of Liberty and Founding Fathers getting busy…

and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

I grew up in a pretty orthodox Protestant church. Baby dedications were a big thing. The lil’un would be brought up to the front of the church, we’d ooh and ahh a bit, and the Preacher Man would pray for the tiny critter, the parents, etc. The idea was to ‘dedicate’ the child to God as he or she grows up.

GA CoverBut Baby ‘Merica isn’t dedicated to God – at least according to Lincoln . (Don’t tell the Republicans!) It’s dedicated to an idea, a proposition – that all men are created equal.

What IS a ‘proposition’? We talk about this term in class as well. There are various sorts of ‘propositions’ – I may have a business idea in which I’d like for you to join me, or perhaps I’ll ask you to marry me. In those Science classes I referenced earlier, though, they use a different word for their kinds of propositions.

They call them ‘hypotheses’ – official-sounding ideas about how things work or what they do. And do you know what we do with a hypothesis, once formulated?

You test it, to see if it works.

I dunno… maybe I’m overthinking this. Lincoln learned most of what he knew reading by the fireplace late at night. It’s really not fair to attribute all of this ‘Enlightenment’ style thinking to him when he’s just trying to give a motivational speech. I’ll shut up and we’ll continue with what he actually said.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war,

I always stop here and ask my kids which civil war he means. It usually takes them a second to figure out how to say what they’re sure is correct. “THE Civil War – the ONE THEY’RE IN.”

Yep. And why were we fighting this war?

testing whether that nation — or any nation so conceived and so dedicated — can long endure. 

HA! I SO CALLED THAT ONE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE! **SmugHappyDance**

We have our hypothesis – that ‘all men are created equal’. It’s right there in our own Declaration of Independence. We built an entire nation on this premise, conceived in ‘Liberty’ by our ‘Fathers’. Now we’re testing that hypothesis.

Lincoln Action FigureDoes that work? This… ‘all men are created equal’ – can you run a country based on that, or will it fail?

Note that the results aren’t merely for us – that would be pressure enough. This war, according to Lincoln, is about whether THIS nation can survive built on this hypothesis, and by extension whether ANY nation with similar values – so conceived and so dedicated – can long endure. 

We are met on a great battlefield of that war.

Which battlefield would that be? Come now, I know you know this one. I’ll wait…

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. 

Wait, what?

It’s worth stopping at this point to make sure we’re all on the same page – especially since Lincoln is setting us up. We’re gathered to dedicate a cemetery, some ground, for those who died in this war.

Died… why? So “that nation might live.” That nation dedicated to the proposition that “all men are created equal.” To prove that this was true, and that you can build a country on such a foundation. They died, according to Lincoln, to prove a hypothesis.

Lincoln ProfileThis, incidentally, would have been news to many of the men being honored that day. Most thought they were fighting for the Constitution, the Union, maybe their states or families, or just because they were annoyed with the people on the other side. A few sensed the long game, but it was hardly the norm.

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

Well, that’s a relief, given the months of planning and the four hours we’ve already been standing here doing it. Woulda been a shame to find out it was all one big faux pas.

But,

But.

But?

But!

‘But’ may be one of the most powerful and underrated words in the English language. And this ‘but’ – Lincoln’s ‘but’ – is a big one. That’s right. Lincoln had a very big ‘but’, and we’re going to look at it next time.

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part One (After Everett)

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part Three (Lincoln’s Big ‘But’)

The Gettysburg Address, Part One (After Everett)

Battle of GettysburgThe Battle of Gettysburg was a three-day conflagration resulting from Robert E. Lee’s second and final attempt to bring the Civil War into the North, in hopes citizens therein would tire of the fighting and tell their elected leaders – Lincoln in particular – to knock it off.

Those first three days of July, 1863, produced the sorts of epic moments and sickening body counts that made the war so grand and so terrible both then and in retrospect. You may have seen the movie, based on Michael Shaara’s The Killer Angels – one of the few history movies shot entirely in real time.

That’s a joke about how damn long it is. It’s a really long movie.

Yep.

The battle was a critical turning point in the Eastern Theater of the war – a series of all-or-nothing melees culminating in the devastating “Pickett’s Charge,” in which the Confederates lost nearly half the men who charged proudly up Cemetery Ridge in hopes of overwhelming the entrenched Union forces awaiting them at the top.

The Union held, and the South was devastated beyond the point of possible recovery.

Black Troops Civil WarThe same month saw the fall of Vicksburg in the Western Theater, the rapidly growing acceptance of black soldiers in the Union after Denzel Washington and Matthew Broderick martyred themselves in the attack on Fort Wagner, and the pivotal Battle of Honey Springs in Indian Territory (the ‘Gettysburg of the West’, according to my state-approved Oklahoma History textbook).

I’m serious about that last one only insofar as the book really does say that. But the other events were legit turning points. After Gettysburg and the rest of July 1863, the war was effectively decided.

That didn’t prevent it’s continuing for two more years, but that’s a subject for another post.

The small town of Gettysburg was left with 50,000+ dead soldiers to bury. The armies had done what they could, but the nature of war and the limited ground with which to work meant that it wasn’t long before local dogs or other animals were showing up in town with body parts as chew toys. Farmers trying to plow would run into limbs protruding from the earth. And once it rained…

Gettysburg CemeteryIt wasn’t decent, and it certainly wasn’t healthy.

Fast-forward to the christening of a massive cemetery, conceived and designed with a level of cooperation between state and national government which was not at all the norm of the times. The ceremony to dedicate the new grounds featured preachers praying prayers, choirs singing songs, and Edward Everett – the preeminent orator of his day.

Everett captivated the crowd with his three-hour speech summarizing the battle, the men, the cause, and whatever else you might ask for in the Director’s Cut of your favorite DVD. Contrary to what you were probably told as a kid, he was a hit – people loved that stuff back then because they had what was called “an attention span”, with a side of “absolutely nothing better to do all day.”

Lincoln at GettysburgPresident Lincoln was invited as well, but unlike today the presence of the President did not automatically presume he would become central to everything else. Lincoln’s role was to give some closing comments before the final song or prayer – not to upstage Everett. While it’s likely people anticipated more than the two or three minutes it would have taken for him to deliver what became known as his “Gettysburg Address,” they certainly weren’t expecting anything particularly extensive either. That wasn’t why he was there.

The suggestion that he scribbled the speech on the back of an envelope on the train ride in is counter to everything else we know about Lincoln and public speaking, and is refuted by specific history regarding this particular speech as well. (Like, we have the diary entries and such of men around him who recorded things like, “Lincoln asked my thoughts on his most recent edit of his speech. I suggested he wait for a dove to attack him on the train, but he insisted on borrowing my copy of ‘Greek Funeral Orations for Dummies’ and a thesaurus, so…” )*

Lincoln at GettysburgThe ‘holy inspiration’ myth speaks more to the power and seemingly supernatural impact of the speech in retrospect than it does anything based on temporal reality. Lincoln wrote how he wrote and spoke how he spoke as a result of years of study and practice, editing and peer review. He may have been inspired, but that inspiration was manifested as part of decades of hard work to get better at it.

So, there’s a lesson.

In case you don’t still have it memorized from Middle School, it went something like this: 

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation — or any nation so conceived and so dedicated — can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. 

It still gives me the goose shivers. Next time I’ll offer up my amateur breakdown of this classic historical ditty. I know you simply can’t wait.

Lincoln With Axe

*I’m paraphrasing 

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part Two (Dedicated to a Proposition)

RELATED POST: The Gettysburg Address, Part Three (Lincoln’s Big ‘But’)

RELATED POST: Useful Fictions, Part I – Historical Myths

Useful Fictions, Part I – Historical Myths

In 1851 at the Akron Women’s Rights Convention in Akron, Ohio, Sojourner Truth – a former slave and fiery speaker – spoke extemporaneously to the women and few men assembled there. The Anti-Slavery Bugle of Salem, Ohio, reported the event:

Sojourner TruthOne of the most unique and interesting speeches of the Convention was made by Sojourner Truth, an emancipated slave. It is impossible to transfer it to paper, or convey any adequate idea of the effect it produced upon the audience. Those only can appreciate it who saw her powerful form, her whole-souled, earnest gesture, and listened to her strong and truthful tones. She came forward to the platform and addressing the President said with great simplicity:

May I say a few words? Receiving an affirmative answer, she proceeded; I want to say a few words about this matter. I am for woman’s rights. I have as much muscle as any man, and can do as much work as any man. I have plowed and reaped and husked and chopped and mowed, and can any man do more than that? I have heard much about the sexes being equal; I can carry as much as any man, and can eat as much too, if I can get it. I am as strong as any man that is now.

As for intellect, all I can say is, if woman have a pint and a man a quart – why can’t she have her little pint full? You need not be afraid to give us our rights for fear we will take too much – for we won’t take more than our pint will hold.
The poor men seem to be all in confusion and don’t know what to do. Why children, if you have woman’s rights give it to her and you will feel better. You will have your own rights, and there won’t be so much trouble.

Frances GageTwelve years later, Frances Gage – a well-known reformer, abolitionist, and feminist in her own right – recounted the event somewhat differently. Gage was present at the convention, and was in fact the President to whom Truth addressed her initial request to speak. The version Gage recorded has become much better known, and is the one most often replicated, laminated, and recited when we speak of Truth today.

Several ministers attended the second day of the Woman’s Rights Convention, and were not shy in voicing their opinion of man’s superiority over women. One claimed “superior intellect”, one spoke of the “manhood of Christ,” and still another referred to the “sin of our first mother.”
Suddenly, Sojourner Truth rose from her seat in the corner of the church.

“For God’s sake, Mrs. Gage, don’t let her speak!” half a dozen women whispered loudly, fearing that their cause would be mixed up with Abolition.

Sojourner walked to the podium and slowly took off her sunbonnet. Her six-foot frame towered over the audience. She began to speak in her deep, resonant voice: “Well, children, where there is so much racket, there must be something out of kilter, I think between the Negroes of the South and the women of the North – all talking about rights – the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what’s all this talking about?”

Sojourner pointed to one of the ministers. “That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody helps me any best place. And ain’t I a woman?”

Sojourner raised herself to her full height. “Look at me! Look at my arm.” She bared her right arm and flexed her powerful muscles. “I have plowed, I have planted and I have gathered into barns. And no man could head me. And ain’t I a woman?”

“I could work as much, and eat as much as man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne children and seen most of them sold into slavery, and when I cried out with a mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me. And ain’t I a woman?”

The women in the audience began to cheer wildly.

She pointed to another minister. “He talks about this thing in the head. What’s that they call it?”

“Intellect,” whispered a woman nearby.

“That’s it, honey. What’s intellect got to do with women’s rights or black folks’ rights? If my cup won’t hold but a pint and yours holds a quart, wouldn’t you be mean not to let me have my little half-measure full?”

“That little man in black there! He says women can’t have as much rights as men. ‘Cause Christ wasn’t a woman. She stood with outstretched arms and eyes of fire. “Where did your Christ come from?”

“Where did your Christ come from?”, she thundered again. “From God and a Woman! Man had nothing to do with him!”

The entire church now roared with deafening applause. 

“If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back and get it right-side up again. And now that they are asking to do it the men better let them.”

How do we account for the difference?

There are a number of possibilities, but the most likely – and the one to which I subscribe – is that Gage had twelve years to tweak and rework the initial event in her mind and in her no doubt repeated discussions of it. Truth went on to be a recognized voice in both abolition and women’s rights during that period, and gave innumerable speeches herself, many of which built on and varied the ideas she expressed in 1851. There was no video of the event, or prepared copies of the speech – the closest written version we have is that of the Bugle quoted above.

So was Gage lying? Did she just forget over time? I’m not convinced either of these need entirely be the case. I’d argue the key is found in that initial report from the Bugle:

It is impossible to transfer it to paper, or convey any adequate idea of the effect it produced upon the audience. Those only can appreciate it who saw her… listened to her…

I’m no expert on etymology, but I’m pretty sure this is the 1851 version of “you had to be there.”

Sojourner Truth AgainMaybe it was impossible to transfer the effect to paper, but Gage could try. I submit that she altered the facts in order to capture the truth. Recounting the event was inadequate, so she revamped it in order to get closer to what actually happened experientially. In her mind, I believe, the most important element of Truth’s speech that night was not the transcript, but the message and its impact.

Most of us have altered a few inconvenient facts here and there in order to make a point.  We even have a grammatical term for such things: hyperbole.

“I just about fell through the floor!” No you didn’t, but I get how shocked you must have been. “I swear, I hit every red light between here and Ft. Worth!” Unlikely, but it does sound like a frustrating trip. Characters on TV behave rather melodramatically so we don’t miss their meaning. If our real-life antagonist at work narrowed their eyes and scowled at us while dramatic music swelled behind them each time they were thinking something unpleasant about sweet, blameless us, it would be hard to know whether we should report them to HR or skip straight to contacting an exorcist. 

Often our memories help us out by actually altering the facts recalled in order to better fit the experience we had, good or bad. Great moments get better, bad moments get worse, embarrassing experiences grow more extreme, and our stories evolve each time we tell them.
And sometimes we just lie. But even those can offer interesting insights, once pondered.

These strange, not-entirely-factual accounts often illuminate important aspects of key events, or of ourselves processing these events, which are lost in the mere facts. Of course we must correct the inaccuracies – but first, let’s look at why they resonate in the first place. What can we learn from some of history’s most persistent nonsense?

The Stud Columbus & His Flat Earth

Christopher ColumbusChristopher Columbus has become a controversial figure in recent years. For some reason, the Native population of this grand land refuses to get overly excited about the man who first brought enslavement, disease, and near genocide to their ancestors. The basic mythology of his story has proven rather tenacious, however, even as his status as someone deserving their own holiday has come into dispute.

Columbus believed the world was round, everyone else thought it was flat. He seduced Queen Isabella, who gave him ships. He discovered the New World despite the mutinous mindset of his motley crew, and here we are. 

Most of you know this is all nonsense – long-discredited urban legends of the historical flavor. Every educated person knew the world was round; Columbus just thought it was much, much smaller than it actually is. His stubborn error made a little boating expedition to the Indies seem less insane. Once he landed in the New World, he stuck to his belief he’d found a route to the Far East or thereabouts, and held to this despite mounting evidence and minor annoyances like glaring reality – and clung to his delusion until he died.

Isabella granted the ships for her own reasons, largely political (imagine that), and if his crew bordered on mutiny it could be related to Columbus being a bit of a pompous ass who took credit for their work and damn near got them all killed several times.

So what makes the bogus, fabled version sticky in our national consciousness?

If America was (or is) a land chosen and blessed by God, perhaps it deserved a better ‘birth’ story than the deluded navigator who refused to believe he’d landed in the wrong place. It may be possible to reconcile a “City on a Hill” / “Manifest Destiny” / “White Man’s Burden” mindset with the raping, pillaging, and enslaving of natives enabled by Columbus as soon as the first rowboat hit sand, but it’s much easier to align those self-selected American attributes with a tale of enlightenment and progress (earth = round) overcoming a Middle Ages backwardness (earth = flat).

The idea of a leader able to abuse his underlings with impunity based primarily on his position (because the real boss put him in charge) seems a little too Koch Bros or Bill Lumbergh for our tastes. But a strong leader able to corral his motley crew through force of will… that’s something we can at least admire – think Sam Houston or Will Riker. 

As to romancing the Queen, real Americans aren’t wild about monarchy to begin with – combine that with a woman in charge (yes, I know Ferdinand was around, but Izzy had her own areas of sway – of which this was one) and maybe we needed a little role adjustment. A woman who uses her wiles to manipulate a powerful man is generally thought a ‘whore’, from the Latin root kardashian, while a male doing the same to get what he wants from a queen is a ‘stud’, or in the Latin, playaaa.

The information in the fabled version is false, but I respectfully suggest it reveals a great deal of truth about the events and our framing of them – a truth on which we base much bigger decisions than we do the facty version. Examining it matters.

Abraham Lincoln and the Gettysburg Address

Lincoln at GettysburgThis brief oration is arguably the most important speech of the 19th Century – maybe in all of American history. In approximately three minutes, President Lincoln deftly redefined the purpose and scope of the Civil War and charged his audience and all future Americans with the “great task remaining before us” of extending full American-ness to all people, as apparently both the Founders and the dead soldiers being commemorated that day had intended – although that would have come as news to many of them, had they been alive to hear it.

Setting that aside, it was a rather significant course adjustment in American history and one of the better things we’ve done along the way – building on the ideals of the Declaration of Independence rather than the pragmatism of the Constitution to expand democracy and some degree of equality from the few to the many. Sort of. Sometimes. In theory.

Lincoln did not compose this oration on the back of an envelope on the way to the ceremony. The very idea is completely out of keeping with his character and habits. If Lincoln were expected to speak somewhere, he prepared intensely, and well in advance. On those periodic occasions he was pressed to speak and had nothing ready, he made a few kind, humorous remarks, then explained he had nothing prepared, and rather than look silly, or misspeak, he’d say nothing. While details can be debated, multiple sources confirm his working and reworking of the speech in the weeks leading up to the event.

Sometimes added to the tale is that the previous speaker, Edward Everett, spoke for freakin’ ever, presumably boring the funereal snot out of everyone as proven by the fact that no one’s studying HIS speech 150 years later. Then… up steps Lincoln, three minutes of miracle, and boom – he drops the mike, throws a peace sign, and struts back onto the train.

What makes the envelope story and the idea that Everett was a drone while Lincoln killed it stick in our collective consciousness?

There’s a certain spiritual, inspirational element to the idea that the speech just flowed naturally out of Lincoln’s pen at the last metaphorical moment. Jesus told his followers in the Gospels not to worry about what they’d say, for the Spirit would provide the right words at the right time. All the way back to the Greeks, there’s a certain mojo to following the Muse. 

Lincoln WritingLittle wonder, looking at this speech a masterpiece of imagery, language, and manipulation for the good of mankind, and in so few words – that we can almost SEE the white dove descending from heaven to whisper the words in Lincoln’s ear. Less romantic is the idea that good writing – like good anything – is more often the product of years of effort, study, and practice.

Maybe from time to time Robert Plant wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t help but scribble down the lyrics to Stairway to Heaven before the moment evaporates from his drug-addled mind, but most of the time songwriters write songs the normal way – they get an idea, a hook, a phrase, and work it and revise it until they’re relatively happy with it. Even then, most aren’t masterpieces – but some are.

Mmmbop, badubadop bah dooom bop. Ba dooee-yah bah doo-bah, badooba dah badoo.  Can you tell me? You say you can – but you don’t know.

Sometimes things just fall into place, but most of the time some amount of working your ass off is involved. It makes the story less cool, but does not necessarily make the speech itself less inspired. Should it really detract from the accomplishment of this lil’ oration that it was preceded by a revision or two, and a few decades of nights by the fireside reading his way into being able to think and speak with such efficacy?
Movies often fast-forward through the part where actual work and progress occur because those parts aren’t exciting to watch. That’s fine – admire the results. But don’t forget the montage.

Everett CelebrityEverett did indeed speak for somewhere around three hours, but that wasn’t considered excessive, nor was it tiring to hear. This was a pre-Xbox, pre-Facebook, pre-RockfordFiles nation. Life was in many ways slower and oration was high entertainment when done well – and Everett was the Paul McCartney of speechifyin’. A bit on the long side of his peak, he was nevertheless legendary for leading the audience through whatever rhetorical journey he chose, and by all accounts that day he was a master.

It would be inconceivable today for the President to be at any event for which he was not the focus, but that was not the case in 1863. Lincoln’s remarks were perhaps a bit briefer than anticipated, but he was never expected to be the main event. He was the after dinner mint of the affair, and the centrality of his three minutes only seems obvious in retrospect. Lincoln took a nation built on compromise and mired in war and lifted its vision back upwards, out of the clutter, and back to ideals perhaps even a bit grander than those of our Founders. The mythology which clings to the moment speaks to its importance.

The Assassination of JFK

The various conspiracy theories and alternative explanations for the death of our 35th President are fairly well-known, thanks to Oliver Stone, the interweb, and a recent X-Men movie. Rather than rehash them here, I’ll rely on The Onion to summarize:

Onion JFK Assassination
 
Why the persistence of this, and the other ginormous conspiracy theories associated with every major big bad moment? 

There’s something terrifying in the idea that in an instant, everything can change – we’re taking our kid to the store when a drunk driver plows through an intersection, we wake up to go to work when some unknown dormant medical condition suddenly manifests, or the next petty criminal chooses our Kwiky-Mart to start shooting everyone. How much more threatening to our world paradigm that a lone weirdo like Lee Harvey Oswald could change the course of history with a few pulls of the trigger and the randomness of the universe in play? The very idea suggests an almost existential absurdity that makes one’s soul hurt.

Nine Eleven MockeryThe idea that 9/11 was an inside job or that MLK was killed by the FBI is disturbing enough, but the alternatives are worse – that individuals or small groups of people, without the knowledge or control of those tasked with keeping us safe, did the worst of big bad things no one could anticipate or stop. We are creatures who want desperately to see order in our surroundings, and to claim some element of control over even the least controllable parts of our lives. A massive conspiracy by a large, powerful organization or sly government entity may be loathsome, but it’s not quite so terrifying as the unpredictability of the alternatives.

The plethora and sometimes bizarre diversity of theories about JFK’s death show us less about the events of November 1963 and more about ourselves and the stories we write and tell in order to give structure to our universe – and implied order to our future. They demonstrate that while perhaps we’d prefer to feel in charge ourselves, we’d at least like for SOMEONE to be in charge – even if that someone is a malicious entity working for their own ends. If there is order – even evil order – then we have some chance, some option or control in how to deal with that order. 

Without it, we’re confronted with existential or spiritual crisis on a level beyond my ability to tackle here. And no one wants that. Better the Jews did it. Or the Mafia. Or Aliens.

Our urban legends and historical mythologies resonate for a reason. I respectfully suggest it’s worth paying more attention to those reasons, and to the potentially useful or provocative truths woven therein.

After that, of course, you can roll your eyes, look a bit put out, and begin to explain: “You know, that never actually happened…”

Related Post: Useful Fictions, Part II – The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Related Post: Useful Fictions, Part III – Historical Fiction… Sort Of

Related Post: Useful Fictions, Part IV – What’s Your Story?

Related Post: Useful Fictions, Part V – “Historical Fiction,” Proper