Noooobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Spanish Inquisition

Before I go off on my trademark character assassination and sarcastic diatribes regarding pending legislation in the hallowed halls of the Oklahoma legislature, I thought it might be helpful to bring the non-history teacher-types up to speed on just what the fuss is about. 

Unlike the easy accessibility of Sally Kern’s “Use Shock Therapy on Gay Teens” bill or our state guidelines for which angry white men we’ll send to the new Constitutional Convention to rewrite that sorry remnant of darker times (because our current leaders are SO much smarter than the Framers and besides what could possibly go wrong?), contention over something as specific as an AP curriculum can be a bit bewildering for those not walking daily in that world. 

What exactly IS the kerfuffle with the ‘new’ College Board Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) course and exam? 

Thinking HeadThe short version is that the College Board decided a few years ago to move away from a ‘Know Way Way Lots of Stuff and be Able to Apply that Knowledge Effectively’ model to a ‘Know Lots of Stuff and Learn to Think About it from Different Perspectives AND Apply that Knowledge Effectively’ model in APUSH. They wanted to give AP teachers and students the opportunity to ‘go deep’ and practice analytical thinking without being limited by the overarching need to memorize every fact ever. 

The shift was not without detractors; history teachers (especially those AP-types) love to argue and hand-wring and bluster about what’s truly important and what should be assessed and how and OMG I’ll have to revise a few of my lesson plans. 

I work and socialize with quite a few AP-types, most of whom are smarter and cooler than me. After a drink or seven, many would admit that if it were up to them, they’d tweak this part or refocus on that other thing or whatever. I feel the same way about pretty much every PLC data-goal or family vacation plan I’ve ever been a part of shaping. That’s the nature of anything designed for such a variety of teachers in such a wide range of circumstances – you won’t entirely please everyone

But none of the ones I’ve spoken with HATE IT. None of them find it un-American or insufficiently rigorous. Yes, some of my friends and colleagues are – for all practical purposes – godless Socialists, but others are surprisingly conservative. They teach the course, they labor over their students’ successes and failures in class and on the exams, and many travel the country training and listening to other APUSH teachers’ opinions and concerns as well. 

Even if they DID hate it, it would perfectly appropriate for them to say so, because they have what we in the education world like to call “some f*cking clue what’s going on.” They have a right to whatever opinions they choose because they have credibility. Legitimacy. They’re involved in the process and impacted by the results. They’re the ones actually doing the ‘do’. 

Texas, a few months ago, decided the new framework was insufficiently patriotic. The idea that there might be other interpretations or other points of view when it comes to Manifest Destiny, interventions in other nations, internal social or political movements, or whatever, seemed blatantly un-American to some. More flag-waving and less thinking was demanded. Or else. 

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And to be fair, we do have a tendency when running from one extreme to embrace the opposite error. There’s no need to teach American history as a series of travesties and genocides based on hypocritical ideals just to offset a little red, white, and blue truthiness. Surely there’s a balance, yes? 

Baby America

But that’s the rub, isn’t it? It’s impossible to teach entirely neutral history. The range of facts and information is too broad to include EVERYTHING ever, and even if we could, a string of people and events completely free of narrative is both pointless and impossible to remember. Every teacher in every subject makes choices about what to cover and how to cover it, while trying to be as balanced and aware of our own biases as possible. 

It’s amusing to think there’s a genuine fear that the same kid I can’t CONVINCE to keep an agenda or that there’s value in learning to paraphrase might become unwittingly locked into a lifetime of twisted socio-political dogma based on which Jefferson quotes I selected for a quiz. 

But I digress. 

The point is that no matter what the curriculum includes, there will be MORE it does NOT. 

Frustrated TeacherHistory teachers deal with this all the time, at every level. One of the science teachers in my building REVELS in asking his kids where Geronimo is buried, or about the Pioneer Woman statue, or Reba McEntire, or that one time in 1973 the governor did that one crazy thing. They have no idea, and he accosts me a few times a week about what we’re teaching in Oklahoma History if we’re not including Geronimo & Co. 

History is the story of everything that’s ever happened anywhere ever, and why, and how it all fits together in every possible direction and combination. So, yeah – we make judgment calls. We’re usually wrong. 

How many books do you currently own and fully intend to read because you absolutely must and really want to? How often are you casually quizzed regarding a movie or TV show only to be assailed by some form of “OMG! I can’t believe you haven’t SEEN ______________!?! I thought EVERYONE-how-could-you-not-do-this-one-drop-everything-now-why-do-you-hate-America?!? 

Teacher HelpingAnd you already know how to read books and watch TV. What if you had to be helped to read or watch each one meaningfully along the way? It might take a while. Some might not get covered. Hopefully, however, you’d end up with the tools and background knowledge to eventually watch or read most anything without my still being there explaining as we go. You may even choose different books and shows to watch, or interpret them in ways other than I do. 

THAT’s what we call “hating America”. That’s what Texas, and now Oklahoma, want to protect you from. Senator Brecheen and Representative Fisher want to legislate a list of documents which must be covered above all else because they’re the MOST American documents. The BEST American documents, presumably. 

And there’s a butt-load of them.  

The problem isn’t anything ON the lists; it’s the pre-printing press focus on rote regurgitation of sacred texts, as if we’re not in this to awaken students or create informed citizens, but to indoctrinate followers. The punishments for straying – for violating the tenets of the sacred texts – are the same punishments as always. They’ll pull even more of our funding. Being a teacher in Oklahoma is like being the girlfriend of a low level mobster – you get slapped around and their answer to everything is to cut your meager allowance, then you’re always in trouble for not looking prettier and happier. 

I’ll carry on about the specifics of the bills and the credibility of those involved soon. Let me leave you with just a tiny little preview of how much fun it could be:

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We’ve Found A Witch – May We Burn Her?

If You Don't Eat Your Meat, You Can't Have AP Credit

Yesterday I posted Sen. Brecheen’s bill in the Oklahoma Senate trying to replace College Board’s Advanced Placement U.S. History courses across Oklahoma with a list of 50+ documents to memorize. If that method was good enough for the Ancient Chinese, it should be good enough for the kid hoping to run the feed store one day, no?

And in the Senator’s defense, it’s a pretty good list. Most are standard, important American documents, and in what must have been a real stretch for him, he managed to include an Indian, two angry broads, and FOUR NEGROES! Clearly a new day has dawned in Oklahoma broad-mindedness.

We kept out them Hispanics, of course – probably wrote THEIR stuff illegally anyways.

A colleague was kind enough to point out variations in the House version of the bill, so I’m posting it here for your illumination. If all goes well, I’ll have some more specific thoughts on these in the next 24 hours – when I’m not flinging spittle from my general outrage we’re even having this discussion this way. I mean, seriously – are they killing any hope our kids may ever have out of blind ignorance and lack of any concern for reality, or is it openly malicious in service of some greater end?

Why do they hate us? Why do they find any suggestion we help teach our kids to think to be such an atrocity? They can still lock up whatever percentage of our young women aren’t currently pregnant and beat up gay kids in the name of Jesus – that’s what the 14th Amendment is all about. But why do you hate us for trying, however humbly, to teach?

STATE OF OKLAHOMA
1st Session of the 55th Legislature (2015)
HOUSE BILL 1380
By: Fisher

AS INTRODUCED

An Act relating to schools; directing the State Board of Education to adopt a certain United States History program and assessment; requiring United States History courses to include the study of certain documents; listing the documents; amending 70 O.S. 2011, Section 1210.703, which relates to financial incentives awarded to schools under the Oklahoma Advanced Placement Incentive Program; prohibiting the awarding of grants or expenditure of money for any Advanced Placement United States History course until certain conditions are met; providing for codification; providing an effective date; and declaring an emergency.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA:

SECTION 1. NEW LAW – A new section of law to be codified in the Oklahoma Statutes as Section 11-103.12 of Title 70, unless there is created a duplication in numbering, reads as follows:

A. By the 2015 – 2016 school year, the State Board of Education shall identify and adopt a United States History program and corresponding test which school districts shall offer in lieu of the Advanced Placement United States History course and test. The program and test shall not contradict or conflict with the subject matter standards for United States History adopted by the Board.

B. Any United States History course offered in schools in the state, including Honors and Advanced Placement courses shall include as part of the primary instruction the appropriate grade-level study of the following foundational and historical documents:

1. Organic documents from the pre-Colonial, Colonial, Revolutionary, Federalist and post-Federalist eras of the United States;

2. The major principles in the Federalist Papers;

3. The writings, speeches, documents and proclamations of the Founders and Presidents of the United States;

4. Founding documents of the United States that contributed to the foundation or maintenance of the representative form of limited government, the free-market economic system and American exceptionalism;

5. Objects of historical significance that have formed and influenced the United States legal or governmental system and that exemplify the development of the rule of law including, but not limited to, the Magna Carta, the Mecklenburg Declaration, the Ten Commandments and the Justinian Code;

6. United States Supreme Court decisions;

7. Acts of the United States Congress, including the published text of the Congressional Record;

8. United States treaties;

9. Other documents, writings, speeches, proclamations and recordings related to the history, heritage and foundation of the United States, including but not limited to:

a. the Declaration of Independence, 

b. the United States Constitution and its amendments, 

c. the Mayflower Compact, 

d. the Bill of Rights, 

e. the Articles of Confederation, 

f. the Virginia Plan, 

g. the Northwest Ordinance, 

h. the national motto, 

i. the national anthem, 

j. the sermon known as “A Model of Christian Charity” by John Winthrop, 

k. the sermon known as “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards, 

l. the Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death speech made by Patrick Henry, 

m. the letter known as “Remember the Ladies” by Abigail Adams, 

n. the writing titled “Common Sense, Section III: Thoughts on the Present State of American Affairs” by Thomas Paine,  

o. the essay “Federalist No. 10” by James Madison, 

p. the Farewell Address made by George Washington, 

q.  the Monroe Doctrine statement made by James Monroe, 

r. the complete overview of the book titled “Democracy in America” by Alexis de Tocqueville, 

s. the document known as the “Declaration of Sentiments” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 

t. the Independence Day speech made by Frederick Douglass at Rochester, New York, 

u. the House Divided speech made by Abraham Lincoln, 

v. the Gettysburg Address made by Abraham Lincoln, 

w. the Second Inaugural address made by Abraham Lincoln, 

x. the surrender speech made by Chief Joseph, 

y. the poem titled “The New Colossus” by Emma Lazarus, 

z. the article titled “The Gospel of Wealth” by Andrew Carnegie, 

aa. the essay titled “The Significance of the Frontier in American History” by Frederick Jackson Turner, 

bb. the Atlanta Compromise speech made by Booker T. Washington, 

cc. the Cross of Gold speech made by William Jennings Bryan, 

dd. the Roosevelt Corollary made by Theodore Roosevelt, 

ee. the New Nationalism speech made by Theodore Roosevelt,  

ff. the Peace Without Victory speech made by Woodrow Wilson, 

gg. the First Inaugural address made by Franklin D. Roosevelt, 

hh. portions of the book titled “The Grapes of Wrath” written by John Steinbeck, 

ii. the Four Freedoms speech made by Franklin D. Roosevelt, 

jj. the Day of Infamy speech made by Franklin D. Roosevelt, 

kk. the article titled “The Sources of Soviet Conduct” by George Kennan, 

ll. the address that became known as the Truman Doctrine made by Harry S. Truman, 

mm. the Address on Little Rock, Arkansas made by Dwight Eisenhower, 

nn. the Farewell Address made by Dwight Eisenhower, 

oo. the Inaugural address made by John F. Kennedy, 

pp. the Decision to Go to the Moon speech made by John F. Kennedy, 

qq. the letter known as the “Letter from Birmingham Jail” written by Martin Luther King, Jr., 

rr. the I Have a Dream speech made by Martin Luther King, Jr.,  

ss. the Ballot or the Bullet speech made by Malcolm X, 

tt. the Great Society speech made by Lyndon B. Johnson, 

uu. the American Promise speech made by Lyndon B. Johnson, 

vv. the First Inaugural address made by Ronald Reagan, 

ww. the 40th Anniversary of D-Day speech made by Ronald Reagan, 

xx. the Remarks at the Brandenburg Gate speech made by Ronald Reagan, and 

yy. the Address to the Nation speech made by George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.

SECTION 2. AMENDATORY 70  O.S. 2011, Section 1210.703, is amended to read as follows:

Section 1210.703

A. Contingent upon the provision of appropriated funds designated for the Oklahoma Advanced Placement Incentive Program, the State Board of Education is hereby authorized to award schools:

1. A one-time equipment and/or instructional materials grant for the purpose of providing an advanced placement course, based on criteria established by the Department. Schools which receive the grants shall:

a. offer the advanced placement courses beginning the school year following receipt of the grant,

b. provide the College Board training within one (1) year of the grant award, including at least a one-week summer institute. Teachers shall be encouraged to attend annual follow-up training, and

c. make available advanced placement examinations to all students taking the course for which a grant has been awarded;

2. Additional grants to school sites demonstrating successful implementation, as defined by the State Board of Education, of the courses for which the first grants were awarded. Schools may qualify for additional grants a minimum of four (4) years after receiving a grant award;

3. Subsidized training for advanced placement courses, preadvanced placement courses, or International Baccalaureate courses in a form, manner and time prescribed by the Department;

4. One Hundred Dollars ($100.00) for each score of three or better on an advanced placement test or four or better on an International Baccalaureate examination; provided, these funds shall be used for the purpose of Advanced Placement Program development;

5. For those students who demonstrate financial need as defined by the College Board or the International Baccalaureate Organization, a share of the advanced placement or International Baccalaureate test fee;

6. For those students who take more than one advanced placement or International Baccalaureate test in one (1) year, a share of the advanced placement test or International Baccalaureate fee in a manner prescribed by the Board; and

7. Grants for the purpose of developing an advanced placement vertical team based on criteria established by the Board.

B. Upon completion of the test, the State Department of Education shall obtain from the College Board and the International Baccalaureate Organization a list of students in Oklahoma who scored a three or higher on the advanced placement test or a four or higher on the International Baccalaureate test. Financial incentives for schools provided in this section shall be awarded at the beginning of the next school year following the school year in which the test was taken.

C. Any new expenditure authorized pursuant to Section 1210.701et seq. of this title shall be contingent upon the availability of funds.

D. Beginning with the 2015-2016 school year, the Board shall not award any grants to school districts or make any expenditure of state funds as authorized pursuant to this section for equipment, instructional materials, course development, professional development or training, examination awards or examination scholarships for the Advanced Placement United States History course until the College Board changes the framework for the course and reverts back to the course framework and examination that were used prior to the 2014-2015 school year.

SECTION 3. This act shall become effective July 1, 2015.

SECTION 4. It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an emergency is hereby declared to exist, by reason whereof this act shall take effect and be in full force from and after its passage and approval.

55-1-6139  KB   01/19/15

There’s that “EMERGENCY” thing again. Clearly these guys are caught COMPLETELY off guard by things which lumber into existence over a period of years on a fairly regular basis.

Too many thoughts to try to be clear just yet – well, that and I have students to brainwash into anti-Americanism through my blatant disregard of Kennan’s article on Soviet conduct.

And I’d have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling legislators.

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Oklahoma Turns Against APUSH?

Brecheen Saving America

Oh Senator, you certainly do manage to stay colorful, don’t you?

In case you don’t recall, Senator Brecheen was the figure kind enough to spend 10 minutes on the floor being shocked that somewhere deep in Appendix G of the Common Core standards, among a few hundred various books, poems, and documents cited as examples of different reading levels, Toni Morrison has written a dirty book.

The only logical solution is to read it on the floor, complete with gasps and euphemisms mostly made up of first initials and the word “word” – “N-word”, “A-word”, “K-word”, etc. Therefore, Common Core was all about promoting rape and sodomy and undercutting American values. His solution was quote Elijah from the Old Testament, who insisted the impure be chased down and executed by sword.

Needless to say, our repeal of Common Core may have saved many lives.

Now he’s after AP-USH, no doubt mostly because we’re tired of Texas having all the fun and looking the craziest. Here’s the text of SB650 as he’s proposed it, although it was no easy task hunting it down. I don’t know how OkEd and Swisher do this full time.

STATE OF OKLAHOMA

1st Session of the 55th Legislature (2015)

SENATE BILL 650

An Act relating to schools; prohibiting state funds from being used to support certain U.S. history courses; prohibiting the State Board of Education from awarding certain grants until certain course framework reverts to framework in place at certain time; directing the State Board of Education by certain date to adopt certain history program; establishing criteria for program; allowing display of certain grade-level documents; providing for codification; providing an effective date; and declaring an emergency.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA:

SECTION 1.     NEW LAW     A new section of law to be codified in the Oklahoma Statutes as Section 1210.704 of Title 70, unless there is created a duplication in numbering, reads as follows:

A.  No state funds shall be used to support advanced placement U.S. history courses in Oklahoma schools as the courses are designed as of the effective date of this act.

B.  Beginning with the 2015-2016 school year, the State Board of Education shall not award any grants to school districts or make any expenditure of state funds, as authorized by Section 1210.703 of Title 70 of the Oklahoma Statutes, for equipment, instructional materials, course development, professional development or training, examination awards or examination scholarships for advanced placement U.S. history courses until the framework for the course is changed and reverts back to the course framework and examination that were used prior to the 2014-2015 school year.

C.  Prior to the 2015-2016 school year, the State Board of Education shall identify and adopt an advanced placement U.S. history program and corresponding assessment that:

1.  Are not in contradiction with the subject matter standards for U.S. history adopted by the State Board of Education; and

2.  Include the following foundational and historical documents as part of the primary instruction in any U.S. history, honors U.S. history, and advanced placement U.S. history course offered in Oklahoma public schools:

a. organic documents from the pre-Colonial, Colonial, Revolutionary, Federalist, and post-Federalist eras of the United States,

b. major principles in the Federalist Papers,

c. the writings, speeches, documents, and proclamations of the founders and presidents of the United States,

d. America’s founding documents that contributed to the foundation or maintenance of America’s representative form of limited government, free-market economic system, and American exceptionalism,

e. objects of historical significance that have formed and influenced the United States’ legal or governmental system and that exemplify the development of the rule of law, including but not limited to the Magna Carta, the Mecklenburg Declaration, the Ten Commandments, and the Justinian Code,

f. U.S. Supreme Court decisions,

g. acts of U.S. Congress, including the published text of the Congressional Record,

h. United States treaties, and

i. other documents, writings, speeches, proclamations, or records relating to the history, heritage, or foundation of the United States, including, in whole, but not limited to:

(1) the Declaration of Independence,

(2) the U.S. Constitution and its amendments,

(3) the Mayflower Compact,

(4) the Bill of Rights,

(5) the Articles of Confederation,

(6) the Virginia Plan,

(7) the Northwest Ordinance,

(8) the motto of the United States,

(9) the National Anthem,

(10) the sermon known as “Model of Christian Charity” by John Winthrop,

(11) the sermon known as “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards,

(12) “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech by Patrick Henry,

(13) “Remember the Ladies” letter by Abigail Adams,

(14) the writing “Common Sense, Section III: Thoughts on the Present State of American Affairs” by Thomas Paine,

(15) the essay “Federalist Paper No. 10” by James Madison,

(16) George Washington’s farewell address,

(17) Monroe Doctrine,

(18) at least a complete overview of the book entitled “Democracy in America” by Alexis de Tocqueville,

(19) the document known as “Declaration of Sentiments” by Elizabeth Cady Stanton,

(20) Independence Day Speech at Rochester by Frederick Douglass,

(21) “House Divided” speech by Abraham Lincoln,

(22) the “Gettysburg Address” by Abraham Lincoln,

(23) the Second Inaugural Address by Abraham Lincoln,

(24) the “Surrender Speech” by Chief Joseph,

(25) the poem entitled “The New Colossus” by Emma Lazarus,

(26) “The Gospel of Wealth” by Andrew Carnegie,

(27) “The Significance of the Frontier in American History” by Frederick Jackson Turner,

(28) the “Atlanta Compromise” speech by Booker T. Washington,

(29) the “Cross of Gold” speech by William Jennings Bryan,

(30) Roosevelt Corollary by Theodore Roosevelt,

(31) “New Nationalism” speech by Theodore Roosevelt,

(32) “Peace Without Victory” speech by Woodrow Wilson,

(33) First Inauguration Address by Franklin D. Roosevelt,

(34) portions of the book entitled “The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck,

(35) “The Four Freedoms” speech by Franklin D. Roosevelt,

(36) “Day of Infamy” speech by Franklin D. Roosevelt,

(37) “The Sources of Soviet Conduct” by George Kennan,

(39) the address that became known as the “Truman Doctrine” made by Harry S. Truman,

(40) Address on Little Rock by Dwight Eisenhower,

(41) Farewell Address by Dwight Eisenhower,

(42) Inaugural Address by John F. Kennedy,

(43) “The Decision to Go to the Moon” speech by John F. Kennedy;

(44) “Letter From Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King, Jr.,

(45) “I Have a Dream” speech by Martin Luther King, Jr.,

(46) “The Ballot or the Bullet” speech by Malcolm X,

(47) “Great Society” speech by Lyndon B. Johnson,

(48) “The American Promise” speech by Lyndon B. Johnson,

(49) First Inaugural Address by Ronald Reagan,

(50) “40th Anniversary of D-Day” speech by Ronald Reagan,

(51) “Remarks at the Brandenburg Gate” speech by Ronald Reagan; and

(52) the address to the nation speech made on September 11, 2001, by George W. Bush.

School districts shall permit teachers to display grade-level appropriate excerpts from or copies of the documents, writings, speeches, proclamations or records listed in this subsection in school classrooms and school building common areas as appropriate.

SECTION 2.  This act shall become effective July 1, 2015.

SECTION 3.  It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an emergency is hereby declared to exist, by reason whereof this act shall take effect and be in full force from and after its passage and approval.

55-1-396 EB 1/27/2015 3:31:09 PM

This deserves commentary by those much smarter than myself, although I’ll of course rant about this more soon. My favorite part is that getting these documents and the accompanying silliness into law is “immediately necessary for the preservation of public peace, health and safety.”

That’s right folks, funding be damned – THIS is an EMERGENCY. 

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I’d Rather Be Aquaman

Superman America CoverThere’s a kerfuffle going on in Texas (again) and Colorado (huh?) regarding the level of flag-waving patriotism in history textbooks and curriculums, including APUSH. The short version is this:

The Patriotic Upstanding Americans are upset that these damned liberal touchy-feely freedom-haters twist everything to make it look like all the U.S. has ever done is exploit and enslave everyone. Every new textbook will be titled “Why the Terrorists are Right” or “Let’s Get High and Have Lots of Gay Sex.” The Patriots would like more emphasis on the undeniable accomplishments of U.S. History. American schools should be shaping good American citizens, not future leaders of North Korea.

And in their defense, it does sometimes seem like political correctness requires back-writing a level of cultural and philosophical pluralism that just wasn’t always there. However multicultural we’d like to be, it’s hard to give equal time to the contributions of Islamic Puerto Rican Handicapable Vegans to the Second Industrial Revolution. Early American History requires some understanding of Protestantism, and Capitalism – both of which were woven into lots of important lives and ideas. Let’s not run from that.

Destroyer EagleThe Modern Liberal Academics are upset that these flag-waving right-wing extremists want to whitewash American history to feed their predetermined paradigm of American Exceptionalism. There’s something Orwellian (or at least Valdimir Putinian) about euphemizing (or simply ignoring) travesties like slavery, genocide, and Woodrow Wilson. The Academics would like more emphasis on effective questioning and understanding multiple points of view. American schools should be shaping good world citizens ready to confront things of which we cannot yet conceive, not drones painted red, white, and blue.

And in their defense, they’re right.

Every curriculum, every textbook, every teacher in every class makes judgments (consciously or not) about what’s important and what it means. We can try to reduce that bias, but if I assign Shakespeare instead of Marlowe, I’m making a judgment. If I choose eight Supreme Court cases through which to explore the judicial process, I’m suggesting some big issues are more important than others. It’s just how it is.

We can’t teach everything. Heck, many days we’re not sure we can teach the basics. Decisions have to be made, and some conflict is appropriate.

But this goes beyond that.

Mt. Rushmore AmericaThis is about choosing narratives. Choosing the guiding stories for what we teach and how we teach it. That’s a debate worth having. There are infinite possible ways to frame our history, most well beyond my pay grade or blogging ability.

So I’ll talk about Superman.

The Man of Steel was for generations the prototypical American icon. He had pretty much all powers – strength, speed, flying, moral fiber, good hair… he even managed to go back in time once or twice. Yeah, there was kryptonite, but that’s not even a flaw – it’s a weakness to something so rare as to be almost impossible to wield.

Superman was perfect.

The version I grew up with was part of the Superfriends on Saturday morning cartoons. He worked with Batman and Wonder Woman and some zany space teens with a monkey. I watched the show, but I never ‘got’ Superman. I was never a big fan of Batman, either. I mean, sure, he’s dark and tormented, but he’s also bursting with wealth, intelligence, training, intimidation, and bringing on the suave. I’ve only got, like THREE of those things – so kinda hard to relate, you know?

Aquaman CoverI liked Aquaman.

Sure, they played him up like an equal on the show, but let’s face it – the man breathes underwater and coordinates fish. Years later they gave him a hook and some sharks and stuff, but that’s not the guy I connected with. The guy I connected with was almost absurd in his uselessness 99% of the time. He dressed badly and had no business hanging with that Hawk-Fellow or the Green Lantern, let alone the Last Son of Krypton.

Thing is, if you needed someone to go way, way underwater – hot OR cold – or talk to fish VERY persuasively, Arthur Curry was your man. Supes could run like Flash, fly like – well, everyone, see through things or melt them with his eyes – but he couldn’t convince fish to be useful on his BEST DAY. Neither could Batman with all his gadgets and pale young wards.

Aquaman may not have been good for much, but he filled an absolutely unique and essential role. Trying to make him more than that diminishes him in the worst well-intentioned way.

Marvel caught on long before DC that flawed heroes were essential for connecting to readers, a mindset reflected in subsequent movies. Spiderman, X-Men, even Guardians of the Galaxy – we connect with them not because they shoot ice out of their palms or use a nuclear heart to fly around in a metal suit, but because they’re people. Messy ones, even.

Some are rather loveable, some you wouldn’t let your daughter date, and some are quite loathsome much of the time. The best of them do foolish, selfish, or stupid things, and the worst win your affection sporadically until they go back to being naughty. They interact in unexpected ways, and they learn and grow and try and fail and sometimes they’re awesome. Inspirational.

We learn about them, and ourselves, and we think big interesting thoughts as a result. That’s the whole point.

MystiqueWhy can we not allow Thomas Jefferson the same intellectual and moral complexity we accept in Mystique? Why accommodate a Batman who does dark twisted things so soccer moms feel safe but insist on ‘hero’ or ‘villain’ labels for Andrew Jackson or Malcolm X? Can we not accept that real people – who lived monumental lives and did big stuff – might be at least as unpredictable as Magneto or Malcolm Reynolds?

My students can be a bit dense, but they’re not stupid. They’ll willingly regurgitate whatever they’ve been told regarding George Washington or Martin Luther King, Jr., but they don’t really believe in the Superman version of either of them. Trying to deify any of our American pantheon just breeds even further contempt for whatever lessons we attach or slogans we recite.

You can’t narrow the gap between young people and American ideals by doing a better job bullsh*tting them.

Brother Malcolm XIn the same way that the people around you are so much more meaningful, useful, interesting, when they allow you to see something beyond the façade… in the same way heroes are far more heroic when you know what a mess they are, but they keep trying to do the right thing anyway… our history, our icons, our story resonates far more – not less – when we do our best to lay it all out there as whatever it is.

We’ve done some great things which should not be downplayed or ignored based on the bad parts. We’ve committed atrocities which should not be marginalized based on the lofty rhetoric employed while committing them. America is supposedly of-the-by-the-for-the people – and people are messy.

Teach it like it happened, as best we can. Our kids will get it. If we do it right, those ideals will resonate with them far more powerfully as a result.

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