I don’t know about you, but I’m not all that happy with how things have been going lately. Even worse, I’m not thrilled with how I’ve been responding. I’d hoped for better from my nation, many of my friends, and (as much as I hate to admit it) myself.

But if you’ll allow me to coopt a phrase from another genre… it’s a new day. At least, it has the potential to be.

For longer than I care to remember, New Years has been my favorite holiday. (I’ve written about it before, enthusiastically if not always successfully.) The past several Decembers, however, it’s been more difficult to maintain that sense of renewal – of possibility. In 2019, I was mostly just glad the damn year was over. In 2020, I’d recently started a new position at a new school and was pretty much failing miserably – or so it felt.

Now, as 2021 sputters to a close, I’m staring forward and not liking much of what I see. Midterm elections will likely prove a continuation of everything it’s become impossible to ignore about American politics. Our collective boredom with the pandemic and general lack of concern with the well-being of those around us continues to prolong unnecessary suffering. We’re not quite up to actual book-burning just yet, but much like we’ve learned to do with our other sins and vices, we’re accomplishing many of the same things less directly.

Also, I’ve gone up a few more sizes and nothing fits well anymore. This may not objectively belong on the same list as Uncle Sam once again openly embracing Jim Crow, but I assure you, it’s a joy-killer.

Nevertheless, it’s a new year. (That’s the whole idea, after all.) I’ve spent too much time and energy trying to help others focus on the parts they can control for me to sit back and marinate in despair – at least, not exclusively. My goals for 2022 may not seem overly ambitious to the better-adjusted among you, but for me… these could be game-changers. I suspect the same is true for one or two others out there as well.

1) It’s time to start reading non-fiction again, especially stuff involving the real world around me. For several years now, I’ve largely avoided watching the news or listening to NPR. I’ve ignored any documentaries that weren’t about art theft, tiger kings, or the movies/albums/toys that “made us.” I’ve largely stuck with hockey and series I’ve already seen – lots of Star Trek, M*A*S*H, Archer, and Marvel movies. That’s OK. It was necessary for things to settle internally. But it’s time to shift back into engagement, this time minus the rage and discouragement that made it counterproductive before. It’s time to reclaim knowledge and thoughtfulness as coping mechanisms, not trap doors.

2) It’s time to put a little more effort into relationships. I’m an introvert in the best of times. I enjoy select people and usually manage to be enjoyable in return, but I don’t draw strength or energy from socializing or networking or whatever. I recharge alone, preferably in quietness. Until these past two years, however, I didn’t realize how much I needed those periodic connections with other people. I don’t need many of them, or for them to happen every day, but I’ve neglected too many good humans who deserved better… and I’ve paid something of a price emotionally and socially.

3) It’s time to practice a little grace and patience with evil self-deluding fascists. Yes, they’ve blasphemed against everything I once believed in spiritually and finally convinced me there’s no truth left in it. Yes, they’ve sacrificed the ideals of what could have been a pretty nice little country in their desperate efforts to assuage their own manufactured sense of perpetual victimhood. Yes, they reek of white supremacy painted up as “meritocracy,” fundamentalist theocracy wrapped in the wool of “religious freedom,” and raw ignorance celebrated as enlightenment. But despite all of this, they’re not all individually irredeemable, or so I’d like to think. Besides, treating others decently isn’t always about them so much as it is about us – and I’d like to be a better “us.”

4) It’s time to continue coming to terms with my own shortcomings, quirks, and failures. I’m still trying to embrace self-awareness enough to make positive changes without becoming so mired in self-loathing that I can’t function. (And yes, I tend to experience things in emotional extremes and react accordingly.) I probably won’t lose twenty pounds, but maybe I could lose two. I’m not swearing off video games or professional wrestling, but maybe those things could take up half of my free time instead of ninety percent of it. I’ll probably still be too reactionary, too angry, and too overwhelmed by things, but maybe I can channel more of that into advocacy, empowerment of others, or self-improvement.

5) It’s time to learn how to make better use of my air fryer. OK, maybe that doesn’t seem like it belongs on the same level as those other things, but it’s a metaphor… or something. It’s one of way too many little things I’ve wanted to learn or do better, but have felt too crushed by reality to bother with anything past chicken strips and air fries. It’s time to reclaim the simple things that feel like progress, real or imagined. It’s time to find small joy in small successes. It’s time to reclaim our sense of self from the events around us.

In 2022, I’m not going to hide from local or national realities, but I would like to find better ways to get involved – to find hope and energy through becoming more pro-active. I’d also like to allow myself the time it will take to organize my music and other computer files, or get back to fixing up the basement, all without feeling like I’m either wasting my time or biting off more than I can chew.

I’m not expecting miracles, from myself or anyone else. I’m fairly realistic at this point about the upcoming difficulties, the ups and downs, and even my own inevitable failures along the way. But if we’re going to survive 2022, it will require a change of attitude, focus, and effort – at least for me. And if we’re not going to make it to 2023, well… I’d like to go down swinging. And singing. And using my air fryer properly.

Happy New Year, my friends. Peace, wisdom, and strength to us all.