Blue Serials (September 20th, 2015)

September 19, 2015June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

This week, I recap sobering analyses and frustrated responses to various inanities and quagmires of this illustrious profession…

If you’re not up for it, I suggest merely watching this video and moving on. No worries – see you next week! Touch the future, not the children!

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Are they gone? OK, good – let’s get down to business.

Oklahoma Speaker of the House Jeff Hickman took time this week to spread a fresh layer of loathing and ignorance over Oklahoma public schools.

We live in a time of dramatic false dichotomies – you EITHER think it’s OK to kill black citizens for not showing proper deference OR you hate cops and want them to die instead. You EITHER revile even minimal dress codes for young ladies in high school OR you want them all raped and killed and think it will be their own damn fault, etc. I don’t wish to add another.

But I cannot, at my most broad-minded, come up with more than two possible explanations for Hickman and his ilk in the Oklahoma legislature. Even more troubling to me, I can’t tell which I consider worse.

Either Hickman is so ignorant and deluded as to be unfit to live on his own, let alone hold public office, or he’s a Frank Underwood-level cynic, flinging spraypainted bull$#!+ at the unwashed masses. In other words, it’s difficult to know if he’s trying to further ruin the state, our children, and the future out of complete cluelessness, or if he’s doing it on purpose so he can climb his sad ladder to mediocrity before hell beckons.

Please let me know if I’m overlooking genuine alternative explanations. I’d be relieved – I assure you.

In any case, the silver lining of this $#!+scapade was that it brought forth a few voices from whom we haven’t heard much lately, and stirred up one we’re happy has stuck around.

With All Due Respect, Vol. 3 – Rick Cobb of OkEducationTruths discusses the Hickman interview which stirred the kerfuffle this week. Brilliantly.

Teacher Shortage Is Real. No Claim. – Claudia Swisher, edu-gladiator writ large and Fourth Generation Teacher, with her take on Hickman’s comments and this thing the rest of us call ‘Reality’.

False Claims and Old Ideas – Rob Miller, who may have posted on this subject twice just to make sure he made the Blue Serials roundup this week, nevertheless acquits himself well on A View From The Edge.

The Mercenary Approach to Education – I should note that it worked. Rob secured a mention again this week. There should be stickers! Meanwhile, he’s annoyed – but in, you know, a fun-to-read-and-agree kind of way.

My Open Letter to Speaker Hickman and the House Leadership – Nicole Shobert doesn’t come out of hiding as often as I’d like, but when she does, it’s always worth your perusal. This is must-read. Follow Nicole on the Twitters as @NicoleShobert.

Facts & New Ideas… A Different View – One of my favorite things about Scott Haselwood is his willingness to look past the cliches and platitudes and insist we actually talk workable solutions. No exception here in his reaction to the Hickman inanity.

On a slightly lighter note, I can’t let the Speaker’s palaver distract us from other #OklaEd greatness…

Trust In Me / Ms. Smith Makes Ends Meet… For Now – A double shot this week from Mindy Dennison at This Teacher Sings. In the former, she calls on the power of no less than Etta James to ask why we find it so far-fetched to trust professionals to be professionals, and teachers to teach. In the latter, she wonders why we continue to cry for excellence while starving anyone who dare take up the calling. You really MUST follow Mrs D on the Twitters at @MrsDSings.

Normally I wrap with something worthy of revisiting from months gone by…

But I’m already way long for what’s supposed to be a cute, functional review of the week, AND I simply must include this double shot from my newest #educrush Angela Stockman. She’s a big deal something or other out of New York – but before you judge, keep in mind she ain’t from that one part…

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8 Ways To Tame An Angry Parent – More than a list, this is a complementary mini-counseling session in 1200 words or less. Good advice, good insights, much of it stuff we kinda know when it’s someone ELSE dealing with a difficult situation, but forget when our adrenaline starts to rise.

Schooling The Terrible Teacher: 10 Things Parents Should Never Do – The flip side of the previous post, Stockman nicely balances humanity, insight, and a dose of humor and goodwill in this missive to parents wanting more than to conquer the evil educator.

Check out Angela Stockman on her own page, or as a ‘senior blogger’ (I don’t know what that is, but I wanna be one if I grow up) at Brilliant or Insane. Definitely follow her on the Twitters as @AngelaStockman – trust me on this one.

BE AMAZING, MY #11FF! The need is great, and our gifts sometimes seem so small – but I am in awe of each and every one of you and what you do. Never. Give. Up.

Why Kids Learn (a.k.a ‘The Seven Reasons Every Teacher Must Know WHY Kids Learn!’)

September 16, 2015June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 2 Comments

I’ve been in the classroom for 16 years and doing this blog for about 18 months. I don’t have a Master’s Degree in anything, nor am I pursuing one. I don’t like most edu-books and haven’t done independent research on how or why kids learn or don’t. I consider myself thus supremely qualified to write on this topic.

There will be no footnotes.

There are 7 Basic Reasons Kids Learn. I number them to increase clicks to this post and to lend artificial credibility to what is essentially an opinion piece.

1. They Learn Accidentally

Kids learn while playing, or while caught up in other things. Everything from blocks and unstructured time as a little person through video games or online arguments as a teen – information, good or bad, is created, encountered, or absorbed. This one is so very important and can be crazy effective – but it’s the one most threatened by the Cult of Assessment and our own unwillingness to Defy the Beast.

It also gets trickier to create these opportunities intentionally as students get older.

2. They Learn From Family & Loved Ones

We all know the value of parents reading to their children. In a perfect world they take them to museums or musical performances, or travel places promoting conversation and reflection. How many times a day does a parent or sibling overtly attempt to explain a ‘why’ or a ‘how’ to a little kid?

But they learn all sorts of other things as well – attitudes towards authority, or learning, or society. How to solve problems (in good ways or bad). What matters and what doesn’t. Where they fit in the world.

What they’re worth as an individual.

This is the stuff we’re quick to bring up when people start blaming teachers for everything, and probably the biggest factor shaping what a child KNOWS and who he or she IS over which we have almost no control.

We also go to it as a cop-out when our calling becomes difficult. Sorry, educators – but it’s true.

3. They Learn Because They Like The Subject

This is the ideal. Those kids who keep wanting to know if they can leave your class to go finish something in Engineering? They tend to get good at engineering. That girl who reads voraciously? She tends to get pretty good at reading. And don’t get me started about young people truly devoted to their choir, marching band, baseball team, or speech & debate.

Booyah.

Of course, we have almost no control over this going into a new year. And it’s easy to ruin this passion even in the best of them if we’re not careful – which is terrifying. But still we try to nudge and ignite and encourage, right?

Wait – we DO try to fan these embers, YES?! Hello?

4. They Learn Because They Like The Teacher or Peer Group

I have mixed feelings about this one.

There are students who find me far more entertaining and caring than my friends and loved ones can fathom, based on what they know of me in my other, supposedly ‘real’ life. Because of this, these students will often attempt things they wouldn’t otherwise try – books out of their comfort zone, writing until their hands hurt, talking through a skill AGAIN so that I can give them full credit.

They will play school because of all the love and acceptance flying around, just like in those horrible motivational memes and Garfield posters. “They don’t care how much you know…”

At the same time, I worry this won’t transition to the next teacher they get, who may be perfectly adequate, but to whom they don’t feel the same connection. I don’t want them to be good at my class (and let it stop there) – I want them to get better at being learners, no matter what the circumstances or personalities involved. I want them to become better versions of themselves.

I know, I know – but I’m idealistic and delusional that way. Shut up.

5. They Learn Because Of Grades / Fear / Pressure / Rewards

This may begin from above – parents, or even the school system itself – but often becomes internalized. Either way, this is a stress-driven type of learning with little lasting value.

It might be about staying eligible for band or sports or whatever they’re into and like. It’s often about a sense of survival, and ‘getting through’. Sometimes it’s also about college acceptance, parental approval, career success, or other specific stressors – other times it’s more panophobic. They couldn’t say exactly why, but face a consuming terror of veering off the assigned path.

I did informal surveys of many of my best students last semester, and discovered that these ‘best’ kids in terms of grades, behavior, organization, and personal responsibility, almost universally hated or at least disliked everything about their school day. A few had one teacher or subject they found tolerable, and most had activities or extra-curriculars in which they found fulfillment, but the bulk of each day and long hours into each night were have to, have to, have to.

It was all about the grades. The future. The system. The idea that there would be anything of value to be learned along the way they found… quaint. Of course they resisted being quite so blunt, being the ‘good kids’ and all – you don’t have 104% in every class by proudly slandering the system.

But learning and loving and new worlds of ideas weren’t really factors. If anything, those would be distractions to winning at the game.

6. They Learn Because of Long-Term Goals

This one is pretty rare if you eliminate the vague terrors in play above. There are a few, however, who are specifically chasing a degree in veterinary medicine, motorcycle repair, or that study abroad opportunity in Monaco. They press on because they know what they want.

At least, they think they do – which for our purposes works just as well.

On the one hand, these kids aren’t necessarily driven by a love of learning… on the other, though, they are at least self-motivated, making the learning they accept as necessary a bit richer and more meaningful.

7. They Learn Against Their Will

If you torture them enough, confine them in stale rooms and badger them into compliance…

If you test them repeatedly, then pull their electives, their after school time, their freedom to sit with their friends at lunch, until they pass…

If you manage through attrition to wear away or cripple enough about themselves they’d otherwise find meaningful, strong, beautiful, or useful…

If you constantly elevate those who comply, who understand, who feel and think as we demand, and denigrate those who can’t – or who for whatever reason won’t…

They may eventually give you enough to count as learning. They may remember enough to secure their release from the system. They may even move on to the next round of ‘education’.

But they’ll never forgive you, or the system, or those who participated in the process. You know why?

Because they’ve learned.

Learning R.E.M.

September 15, 2015June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 2 Comments

I had a rather sheltered childhood.

I grew up listening to K-Tel Goofy Greats and Wacky Westerns albums, along with a few Kristy & Jimmy McNichol records and a rather extensive Osmonds collection. For me, “Crazy Horses” was just about as intense as it got. *weeooowwwww* *weeooowwwww*

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Eventually, in a period of angsty rebellion, I turned to local rock radio and discovered Supertramp, Foreigner, and Fleetwood Mac. Once again, I thought I’d peaked in ‘whoah.’ I owned Pink Floyd’s The Wall on vinyl, cassette, and 8-track; to this day can probably sing every line, badly and melodramatically, while waiting for the worms to come.

When the 80’s struck, music got weird. Driving around hearing “Safety Dance” and “She Blinded Me With Science” proved beyond any doubt I lived in an age of wonders and limitless possibilities. MTV introduced me to The Cure, Hunters & Collectors, The Bolshoi, and Mojo Nixon. I was as alternative as an immature, overly-sheltered geek could be without leaving his bedroom in the days before internet.

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And then I met Sandra. We worked part-time at the same department store, although she sold ladies’ undergarments while I vacuumed and emptied trash. Sandra was the single coolest most knowledgeable underground alterna-chick I’d ever seen. I wanted more than anything to have some sort of cred with her.

She’d lived on her own for years and frequented the local music scene, while I lived at home and practiced the bass. When she asked what kind of music I liked, I took it as the highest form flattery and perhaps – oh hell, was this some sort of test? An initiation ritual?!

“Um… the Go-Gos, I guess…” (I knew a total of two Go-Gos songs, which I did genuinely like. Mostly, though, they were an all-girl group – not so common then – and I was playing the odds this might work in my favor.)

“Yeah!” she said with what seemed to be not-entirely-forced enthusiasm. “I loved them before they were signed. Have you heard their indie stuff?”

I didn’t know there was ‘indie stuff’.

I later learned that while in this case Sandra was being completely sincere, this basic assertion was a great fallback for discussing any artist in mixed company…

“So, you into Death Cab For Cutie?”
“Sure – although I loved their early stuff better.”

This could be varied in intensity, depending on what you were going for…

“You like Cold War Kids?”
“Yeah, but they were so much better before the big record deal. Have you heard their indie stuff?”

Or, if you’re feeling particularly feisty…

“Have you heard the latest One Direction?”
“Bah. They were better before they sold out to the machine and signed with that big label. Their indie stuff was awesome.”

Ultimate dis. Automatic indie music cred.

Sandra’s favorite band was, she insisted, The. Best. Band. Ever. OhmygodseriouslyhowcanyounotLOVEthem?!

Also known as R.E.M.

Needless to say, it was off to the local record store to grab some new cassettes. Life’s Rich Pageant and Fables of the Reconstruction played in my car for two days straight. I was committed.

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The problem was… I didn’t get it.

At all.

I didn’t hate it – but I didn’t really understand this… this… strange new music.

The lyrics never seemed to actually MEAN anything, even on those rare occasions I could tell what the hell Michael Stipe was singing. And I was COMPLETELY lost as to what they were going for musically. I didn’t… I mean… it’s just…

I didn’t really like it very much.

At the same time, I’d never had anyone so worldly, so knowledgeable, so damn cool, take a real interest in my thoughts and opinions about ANY music before. Even my guitar teacher when I was a kid shook his head in patient dismay every time I’d bring a recording of some Shaun Cassidy tune I wanted to learn – and my parents were PAYING him to like me.

So I listened, and I tried to ‘get it’. Enough to say something intelligent about it to Sandra, at least.

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Eventually I realized there were tracks I liked more than others. I came to accept that they called on a ridiculous variety of emotions, conveyed by strings of words I didn’t fully understand on a literal level – and that this was all apparently quite intentional.

Go figure.

And I remember when it registered that some of the most intense tracks were, well… slow. And pretty. But NOT ballads. I didn’t know that was even possible. I thought “slow and pretty” equaled “ballad” by definition. But not here. Not these.

R.E.M. was writing about strangely familiar experiences in enigmatic ways and with a more complex humanity than I was prepared to understand. They used their words and their instruments very differently from either ‘classic rock’ OR the Osmonds, and it wasn’t easy to get my brain around.

Partly I simply lacked the exposure and intellect to be easily reached by their art; mostly I lacked the motivation – until other considerations nudged me through.

I don’t know when it stopped being for Sandra and started being because I genuinely loved it, but it happened. By the time R.E.M. was scoring radio time and having ‘hits’, I was almost developed enough to be mildly disappointed they’d be remembered for “The One I Love” rather than, you know – the cool stuff.

“R.E.M.? Yeah, ‘Stand’ is catchy… fun video – but I really like their older material, before they got popular…”

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There’s nothing wrong with choice, or some degree of autonomy, even for the young and uninformed. And, to be fair, those of us in academia have a reputation for sometimes being a bit… elitist about the things we think are important and the knowledge we consider, well… legit.

Valuable.

Essential.

Worthy.

But even setting pretense aside, SOME STUFF IS BETTER THAN OTHER STUFF. We can debate specifics, but the idea that some history is more essential than other history, some science more useful than other science, etc., isn’t so very controversial, is it?

You’re welcome to enjoy Twilight, but it’s not great literature. Lord of the Flies IS, even if you don’t fully ‘get it’ or like it right away. The History of Alien Sex-Abduction may be a legitimate topic to pursue, but with all due respect to the History Channel, a basic understanding of the Progressive Era is probably a better use of time and resources. Even math is –

Well, I’m sure math is good, too. Right?

How #amazeballs would it be if we could be Sandras? Validate our students’ understanding of the world, accept their paradigms regarding what is or isn’t worth knowing about it, or pursuing in it, and yet… find non-punitive ways to woo them towards parts of OUR canon as well? The stuff WE KNOW is… bigger? Valuable? Essential? Worthy?

They may need help learning the language of new subjects, the logic of new ideas, but they’re quite capable. I’d like to think they may occasionally discover they like some of it – maybe even want more.

First, though, we must somehow earn their interest – to persuade them it’s worth the struggle. We must give them a reason to try our R.E.M. – whatever that may be.

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Blue Serials (September 13th, 2015)

September 13, 2015June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal

Greetings, #11FF – I bring you encouragement and perspective from the edu-blogs. And Hawkeye:

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I’m a sucker for superhero movies, and for the little guy trying to work above his pay grade to save the world. Scenes like this? I tear up, and often there’s actual snot involved. It’s embarrassing.

Here are some of the best moments from this past week to dry your tired tears, my darlings… in case you missed them:

Run Them Through the Dream Crusher – Perhaps Arne and Coleman and others are onto something with this ‘tough love minus the love’ approach to educating children. Let’s stop mamy-pambying these little kids and get them ready for the ‘real world’ – one full of rejection, harsh realities, and a whole lotta beat-down. Rob Miller on A View From The Edge dances joyfully through this diatribe, and reminds me why he IS the current ‘must read’ among all things edu-blog or #oklaed. I love this one.

If you’ve ever actually cared about children, the future, or ‘Merica, you simply must follow Rob (closely) on the Twitters at @edgeblogger.

Literacy and the Electives Teacher – Meghan Loyd at For the Love is frothing a bit herself – which I, for one, never saw coming! She has a few thoughts on literacy, our mindset towards ‘electives’ and those who teach them, and pizza rolls. This is not her most tender or careful post so far, but I must confess… I love the sauce she’s slinging. Loyd is TOTES #11FF, so follow her on the Twitters at @MeghanLoyd.

Walkmen At Garage Sales – Donuts in the Lounge is a relatively new #oklaed blog featuring the ramblings of Mr. Link Lowe. This past week, he pondered how quickly we’ve become used to – maybe even bored with – the technological miracles all around us. “Guess I’ll *sigh* transport to Venus and grab a few more Live Forever pods *yawn* before the Holo-tournament…” Ponder Mr. Lowe (without getting bored) on the Twitters at @MrLoweOfficial.

Baby-Proofing a Middle School Classroom – OK, this is actually from two weeks ago, but I missed it. My bad! MiddleSchoolStationConductor is new to me, but obviously I’ll be keeping up with this one from here on out. #OklaEd Middle School Social Studies teacher (you can understand my immediate attachment) Tina Lunday discusses trying to see our classrooms – physically and experientially – through student eyes. Show Tina some edu-love on the Twitters at @TMLunday.

The Drive Episode 8: Literacy – Scott Haselwood TAKES OFF THE SUNGLASSES for this one, which either means it’s time to get SERIOUS, or that it was raining as he taped. Perhaps it’s both. This week on Teaching From Here, after a nice plug for the #oklaed chat every Sunday evening from 8:00 – 9:00 p.m. CST, he expounds on the subject of last week’s chat – literacy’s many facets.

Scott’s emphasis this week is on the value of non-traditional literacies – artistic literacy, computer literacy, musical literacy, numeracy, etc. As a bonus, he cites some of my favorite #oklaed bloggers – @MeghanLoyd and @MrsDSings – as support. What I wouldn’t give to have the three of them around the table with pretentious coffee and hard-to-pronounce edibles so we could wrestle with this one a bit more. I think there’s more we could do. More approaches to consider. We have much to continue learning from one another – which, I suppose, is the whole point… yes?

And Seriously Worth A Revisit or Eleven…

Is There Really A Point To It All? – No, Dad Gone Wild was not having an Existential Crisis – or if he was, he didn’t write about it here. What DID promp some angst was our current obsession with ‘excellence’ and being ‘career-ready’ and the bestest bestly bestness best.

Maybe the next generation will do nothing but create exceptional businesses and tackle exceptional challenges. They will read only exceptional books and listen only to exceptional music. I certainly hope not because they’d miss out on the joy of dancing around the living room to “Shake It Off” with your five-year-old or chuckling at an old episode of “Benny Hill.” It’s just that I look at this constant drum of high achievement, and I can’t see a translation to real life. I can’t help but think that we are squeezing children for their data points while leaving them ill-equipped for life. In fact, my Spidey sense tells me that we are setting unrealistic expectations and setting children up for failure… The truth is, that while we all seek excellence, the majority of us will live average lives and there should be pleasure in that. This average life has served me well.

I would kiss this man on the lips if (a) I had any idea exactly where he is and I could get there, and (b) I wasn’t pretty sure the message he’d receive would be very different from the one I’d be trying to send. Oh the complications of communication in the 21st century! Find and follow DGW on the Twitters at @norinrad10.

Keep rising up, #11FF! You are changing lives one way or the other; let’s make them good ones.

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Karmapologies

September 10, 2015June 4, 2023 ~ Blue Cereal ~ 3 Comments

I’d like to officially apologize to every teacher who, over the past four or five years, has complained to me about ‘helicopter parents’ or told wild stories about crazy student family members swooping in to make everything dramatic and difficult – often at great expense not only to the blood pressure of the involved teachers, but to the long-term well-being of the students themselves.

I was always sympathetic, and outraged in unity with thee. I was intellectually well-aware that there but for the grace of Horace Mann went I.

But on some level, deep down, in ways I’d never admit aloud, I’d often smile with thankfulness that I was somehow avoiding such problems. I was glad I was a bit more flexible with parents, or perhaps simply more personable. I was – dare I say – smug that when the students just loved me SO much, those sorts of issues tended to resolve themselves.

Oh what a fool. What a vain, idiotic, foolishly foolish fool I was. I’m so sorry.

Because Karma is a twisted and patient b*tch. It has waited all these years, letting me build confidence, and comfort, and a certain puffed-up brashness. Even as I fought on some level to overcome such buried thoughts with the knowledge that mostly I’ve just been lucky, Karma was not fooled. I was taking credit for how my students’ parents and other looming parties-of-interest were and weren’t behaving. I was letting pride come before a pretty substantial Fall (as it were).

In short, I was karmically asking for it.

Well, it’s here.

Two and a half weeks of class, eight assignments in the grade book, every single one of them currently redoable, replaceable, or otherwise redeemable at no penalty, daily reminders, notes on the board, and a class website replete with copies of everything in two different places and reminders of everything worth reminding of, and OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING TO THEIR CHILDREN?!?

*sigh*

We’re closer to a dozen parent emails so far than a hundred, and most are panicky and flustered more than actually angry – yet. But I’ve NEVER experienced this sort of frenetic concern, laced with just enough accusation and annoyance to give them edge. Of greater concern are the expressions of confusion – bewilderment – SHOCK – at why their children don’t have better grades they need a better grade they’ve ALWAYS had better grades why am I making their children so confused and helpless and crushing their spirits WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!?

It’s tricky to explain without sounding frustrated or hostile that I am, actually, going to some length to begin nudging their child towards young adulthood – some early modicum of personal responsibility.

I am not, in fact, demaning flawless intellect or academic greatness, but rather, I am begging them to notice that between what’s in the syllabus they signed, written on the board every day, what I say every day, and what’s on the class website in at least two places, none of which changes quickly, there are things we try to do in class to make it, um… educational.

Whereas I’m asking their child to do at most ONE version of any given assignment, I’m creating in most cases at least THREE versions in hopes of reaching as many of them as possible, and offering as many redos as I can stomach before mandatory retirement in about 20 years.

I’m not sure what more to do short of nightly home visits or full body tattoos – perhaps done in reversed text so they can read them in the mirror before bathing.

I am not intentionally sarcastic when asked what their darling could do to improve their grade, and the only accurate response available is “their work?” Can they have extra credit? Well, no – not in the way you mean. By definition, in order to have ‘extra credit’, one must first have ‘credit’. You would not order a pizza with NO CHEESE, but with EXTRA CHEESE – the net result would simply be ‘cheese’. So no, they cannot NOT do the work, then do EXTRA work to make up for it. What they CAN do, though, is the WORK.

I should be more sympathetic. These poor parents who seem to have virtually unlimited time to email and call me repeatedly (on behalf of a child who has yet to speak to me willingly, even when I attempt to initiate) are clearly far too busy to read the syllabus they signed, look at the class website for which I’ve neglected my world-famous blog, or otherwise consider the possibility that the same kid they can’t get to clean up their room, take out the trash, or provide any coherent reason WHY he or she remains bewildered or resentful of consistent, clear expectations at home, might not be the fearless academic angel portrayed – thwarted daily only by THAT ONE HISTORY TEACHER who stays in the profession to crush the future, hate children, and undercut the American Dream.

My friends, peers, and cohorts, forgive me. I never meant to judge you, but I fear that is exactly what I’ve done.

Don’t worry, though – Karma is taking vengeance on your behalf. It’s like she –

Sorry, have to cut this one short. I have some parent emails piling up, and my phone is ringing.

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