In this world of AI and rampant copying, teachers are leaning even more heavily on projects of various sorts – often with a creative spin in hopes students might find the work at least slightly engaging. Maybe they’ll even appeal to different “learning styles,” if that’s even still a thing. If nothing else, we hope it makes it slightly more difficult to cheat or take other shortcuts.
It is perhaps not surprising then, that the only thing students hate more than reading, writing, book work, crosswords, lectures, presentations, videos, labs, activities, or quizzes are projects (or anything else teachers come up with in any form, ever). In order to help these poor abused teens to effectively fight back against an obviously oppressive and unfair system that not only wants them to DO WORK but potentially LEARN SOMETHING while doing it, here’s an easy guide for students faced with the dreaded “classroom project.”
Step #1: As soon as your teacher indicates that the assignment is a project of some sort, and thus not due today during class, tune them out and ignore all further directions. It’s stupid anyway and you can do it later. By the time you actually consider turning something in, you’ll have forgotten even the most basic outline of what’s expected and can then turn this against your teacher since it’s clearly their fault for not explaining it better. 
Step #2: Teachers often go to a great deal of trouble to provide detailed examples of what they’re looking for. Because they tend to get very focused on going over these, it’s a great time to check those important texts or see what’s new on TikTok (since five minutes ago). Besides, what’s up with these long examples? Who has time for that? Besides, you’ll do it later (see
Step #1).
Step #3: If you’ve been given, say, five days to work on something, assume this is teacher code for “four free days because I don’t have any better ideas.” When your teacher suddenly wants to check your progress on day three, make sure you let them know how unfair and unnecessary that is, despite their insistence that it’s clearly indicated in the instructions you left on the floor on day one. If they point out that the instructions and examples are also posted on Google Classroom or whatever online system your school uses, explain with exaggerated exasperation that you NEVER check that because you have better things to do, so really that’s THEIR oversight.
Step #4: If you do accidentally scan the instructions, you may see phrases like “IN YOUR OWN WORDS” used repeatedly. Ignore them. Google whatever key terms you think you’re supposed to know and take the first result that appears, no matter how far removed it may seem to be from the assigned topic. Lesser students may be tempted to simply cut and paste a few key sentences from whatever website they’ve uncovered, but be more clever than that – start in the middle of some random segment and highlight through the middle of a sentence several lines down. Copy this and paste it into your project, making sure to retain the font, style, and background colors of the website instead of taking three extra seconds to at least make it look like you might have typed it in yourself. If challenged, be as defensive as possible – “That’s just what the website said! I didn’t write it! What difference does it make – it’s done, isn’t it?!” 
Step #5: If your teacher has provided specific sources – especially if these include your textbook or anything posted on that learning management system you so proudly avoid – ignore these entirely. With a little luck, you’ll quickly forget they exist at all, thus enabling you to give that lost, bewildered look when the teacher asks if you consulted these sources for your information. (This is far more effective than overt defiance, since teachers are inherently sympathetic to clueless desperation. You’re continuing a proud tradition of prey attempting to distract or dissuade its predators.) Besides, what’s AI even for if not to prevent you from even having to peruse the information you’re using to confirm it relates in some vague way to the assigned topic? Besides, you’re pretty sure your teacher never told you any of this or provided any sort of guidance or examples for you to follow (see Step #1 and Step #2).
Step #6: At some point your teacher will probably call you up to ask you questions about your project. No matter what they ask, insist that you can’t possibly know that because your partner did that section. It’s an unwritten rule that no one in the group is allowed to have any idea what the others have added – kinda like keeping the president and vice president in separate locations during a crisis. This is also why it’s important to coordinate your efforts so that at least one member of yo
ur group is absent every day until this project is past due. Otherwise there’s no telling how unreasonable your teacher might be about you actually knowing or – *gasp* – understanding the content in your project.
Step #7: Never underestimate the value of indignation. Every requirement, however humble, is unfair to you. They didn’t give you enough time – especially when you consider that the first 4-5 you weren’t even paying attention to what you were supposed to be doing and HOW IS THAT YOUR FAULT?!? Every standard, no matter how clearly explained, makes any sense at all. Also, although you’re trying not to be rude, THIS PROJECT IS STUPID AND WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS (or doing it this way, etc.)?!?
Bonus: Next week, after you’ve finally cajoled your defeated instructor into giving you at least half credit despite how unfair they were about the whole thing, they’ll probably return to something more traditional – lectures, book work, EdPuzzles, etc. Make sure you complain about these as the worst no matter how many times you insisted you’d rather be doing this stuff than those insane projects. Wouldn’t want your teacher to start thinking they’d regained their footing or anything and start coming up with more crazy ideas to try out on you.