Defining Success (An #OklaEd Challenge)

It’s so teacher of us – a variety of challenges complete with topics and word limits have been issued to various #oklaed bloggers lately, some with DUE DATES! In other words, we’re giving each other actual assignments.

And responding, more often than not. Go figure.

All across Oklahoma, computer screens are being damaged by red pens as we forget ourselves and begin trying to mark them up before assigning grades. I’m not entirely sure if they meet whatever our state standards are this week, but I’m pretty sure OkEducationTruths in particular has remained 100% Common Core compliant throughout – so… kudos, Rick!

Rather than becoming a limitation, it’s actually quite freeing to be ‘assigned’ a topic and such. No second-guessing whether you’ve chosen the right subject matter, written too much or too little, etc. As an otherwise mess of a student told me my very first year teaching when I clearly had no idea what I was expecting on a project I’d assigned, “Sometimes fences set us free.”

Scott Haselwood of Teaching From Here recently prompted Erin Barnes of Educating Me to blog her definition of success. She did – and I was personally blown away.

That Haselwood is a slippery ol’ boy, though (he’s, um… he’s one of those ‘math’ types). When he noticed my praise of Erin’s post, this happened:

I wasn’t just being gracious about not being able to top it. It’s pretty good. Rather than try to match it on my own, I’ll do what I do in class and borrow the wisdom of others – my role being mere commentary. Because this is a blog post and I want lots of hits, I’ll also cram it into a ‘list’ format. Talk about ‘success’ – I’ll be selling ad space in no time!

(1) Success is not making things worse. This probably sounds rather negative. Perhaps it is. The thing is, we’re all so broken and careless and it’s so hard to see clearly – we wound one another constantly, in such colorful variations – commission, ommission, misunderstanding, hurt, anger, fear… success is when we don’t. Or at least when we manage to do it less.

I’m not being entirely fair – not all of you are such a mess. Some of you manage to come out on the positive side more days than not, and I’m deeply thankful for the truly complete souls in my world who pour in more than they drain out. More power to you, and thanks for not being dillweeds about it most of the time.

For the rest of us, before we can encourage, inspire, challenge, or otherwise build up those in our reach, first we must take our cue from Hippocrates and ‘do no harm.’

…They walked carefully through the china country. The little animals and all the people scampered out of their way, fearing the strangers would break them, and after an hour or so the travelers reached the other side of the country and came to another china wall… by standing upon the Lion’s back they all managed to scramble to the top. Then the Lion gathered his legs under him and jumped on the wall; but just as he jumped, he upset a china church with his tail and smashed it all to pieces.

“That was too bad,” said Dorothy, “but really I think we were lucky in not doing these little people more harm than breaking a cow’s leg and a church. They are all so brittle!” 

“They are, indeed,” said the Scarecrow, “and I am thankful I am made of straw and cannot be easily damaged. There are worse things in the world than being a Scarecrow.”

(The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Chapter 20)

We remember they killed the witches, but forget they took the Wizard away from a perfectly contented Emerald City before proceeding to stomp through the little china people. To their credit, they tried – but Dorothy arrived in a tornado and never really outgrew that quirk until back home and properly restrained.

(2) Success is paying attention.

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years, and the slow parade of fears without crying – now I want to understand. 

I have done all that I could to see the evil and the good without hiding; you must help me if you can.

Doctor, my eyes… tell me what is wrong. Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

(Jackson Browne, 1972)

I think the hardest thing about teaching, about marriage, about parenting, about citizenship, about socializing, cooking, fixing, feeling, running, thinking, being – is paying attention.

Always.

What’s being said, and by whom? How do they feel? What do they mean? What’s the big picture, and what really matters in this situation? What are my options – my real options?

We are creatures of habit and selective attention – a necessary development to function in a complicated and highly stimulating world. But to listen, and see, and think, and feel – that’s challenging. Somehow, though, everything important comes from there.

(3) Success is to just keep going.

You’ve probably picked up on what a downer this list seems to be. That’s not really my intent – I’m a idealist at heart. Sort of. Some days. Well… that one time.

I’ve taught some great lessons in my time, and watched some young people have some pretty impressive lightbulb moments. Not every day, though – not most days, or most kids, or most lessons. Sometimes I really step in it, saying or doing something reckless and unnecessary – which, I mean, is the same reason the good stuff works. But sometimes it doesn’t, and I hurt someone, one of my kids, or peers, or worse – I alienate them. Lose them for the light.

Other times it’s less serious – blog posts that suck, or which leave me feeling exposed in the icy silence of cyberspace (you want to crush an online voice, don’t argue or attack – just ignore. I assure you, it’s devastating.) Side projects that don’t take, or conference proposals that go nowhere, or worse – bring in two people for the day to awkwardly stumble along with me.

Sometimes it’s a marriage, or that kid you tried to raise better, or that job you lost, or that purchase you should/shoudn’t have made. That accident, that embarrassment, that stupid stupid thing you said. That emptiness you caused, or felt, or filled with all the wrong things. That sickness. That inadequacy.

We grossly underestimate the value and power of simply getting up again the next day and trying to press through one more time. You juggle, you adjust, you ponder, or sometimes you just put your head down and charge. Maybe you get closer, maybe you don’t – but, see… that’s OK. Because you’re still going.

And when you just keep going, sometimes you say the right thing at the right time in the right way. When you just keep going, sometimes you’re the one who helps someone back up, or sits with them while they can’t. When you just keep going, you sometimes get it right. You sometimes figure stuff out. You occasionally get better in one or two areas.

If you haven’t yet, then you start now. As long as you’re still going, it’s not failure. You haven’t quit.

And that makes it success.

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