Vitriol and Obscenities

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Well, they’re on to us.

A site called “The Middle Ground” (you know, like where the Hobbits live) is going after #OklaEd edu-bloggers for – wait for it – advocating for public education.

Outrageous.

We’d never tolerate doctors advocating for public health, or a policeman advising someone on how to stay safe and avoid breaking the law. And when was the last time you saw a fireman trying to indoctrinate some helpless group of children on how to prevent fires? They’re far too ethical to so flagrantly violate the public trust.

OK, I should take their concerns a bit more seriously, but they don’t really give me much to work with. Check out this opening salvo:

Unknown to many Oklahomans, a group of public education employees uses notoriety they derived from the classroom to promote their partisan political ideology through internet and social media.

I’m flattered that anyone – however delusional – believes I have notoriety derived from the classroom. “Let’s go read that Blue Cereal guy – I hear he teaches a mean unit on Populism in pre-statehood Oklahoma, thus leading me to value his opinions of current legislation!”

I do like the “Unknown to many Oklahomans…” part, like we’re a mold problem being teased for the 10 o’clock news.

As to partisan political ideology, I’m not even in the same partisans as the other bloggers criticized in the piece. Silly details.

The online pundits focus their commentary toward children, college students, other educators and political leaders.

That’s really not fair. My stuff is written at a reading level far above that of most political leaders.

Seriously, though – “focus their commentary toward children”? What does that even mean? Is it because I post it in the children’s section of the interwebs, or do you mean the fluffy bunnies on the cover? They do give one damning example later in the piece – a link to this entry of mine from last March.

Like I said, we’ve been exposed.

This network of #OKLAed bloggers is filled with insults, venom, hostility and vulgarity. In a line of work where the employees claim to pride themselves on professionalism, the rhetoric fails live up to the hype.

I dare you to cite one instance of me claiming to pride myself on professionalism! That’s just hurtful.

Their main gripe – with me, at least – seems to be my shocking use of symbols and squiggles to represent hypothetical obscenities, like in old comic strips:

I guess I should have offered some sort of trigger warning before springing that barrage from Beetle Bailey on you. I’m so $#%&ing sorry…

The two posts they cite as most offensive are this one and this one. You should go read them, but not until after 9:00 p.m. when the kids have gone to bed. They’re just loaded with squiggle symbols. One of them even has an ‘offensive visual’ over which Middle Ground first expresses shock and outrage, and then – I’m totally serious – reproduces so you can see how shocking it is!

“We’ve uncovered goat porn! Hours of shocking goat porn! Click here and here and here and here to see it all and be shocked with us!”

The thing is, both of those posts had content as well. Both involve topics over which I was feeling particularly outraged – one defending my students from the idiocy of the powerful and influential, and the other defending my coworkers and fellow educators from the hypocrisy and abuses of the state. Criticize my style all you like, but at least address the substance SOMEWHERE in the process.

And that’s most likely what this ‘outrage’ is really about – our brilliantly expressed critiques and opinions on public education and various Oklahoma legislators. No subset of the mob about to put Donald Trump in the White House can seriously be TOO horrified at a lack of rational, respectful discussion, can they? Or is irony truly THAT dead?

The piece goes on to criticize Rob Miller (A View From The Edge) and Rick Cobb (OKEducationTruths) as well, but to be honest, other than some faux outrage that the First Amendment is still a thing, I’m not clear what Rob or Rick did to upset the writer. He’s not a particularly coherent fellow, unfortunately.

You never want to let stuff like this get under your skin in any meaningful way, but there were a few things that bothered me about this little hack job. I might as well own up to them here.

I go to some trouble to maintain a healthy gap between my classroom & coworkers and my blogging & twitterizing. That is due NOT to my humble, demure nature, but rather my desire to grant those around me a certain amount of immunity for things beyond their control – like my political beliefs or whether or not I say “ass” online. The frequency and tone with which my name, school, grade, and subject taught are used in this piece sounds like they’re “outing” me to my straight friends so I can be cyberbullied or something.

I’m not ashamed of what I write, but it takes a certain amount of personal loathing to stop just short of publishing my home address and social security number as part of your smears. I wouldn’t even consider mentioning your two-bedroom home in Glenn Hills just south of Tulsa or your two lovely daughters, Meg and Lisa, who can be found walking back and forth to school each day at around –

Can you hear the collective gasp from those unfamiliar with my zany wit? I totally just made that last bit up to make my point.

Paradoxically, it’s this piece that might finally point my students to a blog they’d never cared about or wanted to read otherwise. Students Google their teachers as a matter of course, but until now the only ones who’ve ever discovered or cared that I blogged are those whose parents I’m friends with on Facebook and who’ve chosen to share this information with their young. I’m literally never asked about it otherwise.

Now, though, Middle Ground has been kind enough to name their teacher and publically slander me to a bunch of minors in my care while reproducing and linking to supposedly offensive material. I guess irony truly is dead.

Not sure how I’ll maintain credibility with a bunch of freshmen if they discover I spoke ugly truth to power and – *snort*

I can’t type that with a straight face. Irony is back.

Hey kids, since you’re here now – master the system, get the grades, learn the learns. Then subvert the dominant paradigm through truth and grit and your own indomitable style. The learning happens in the struggle, and the struggle is the victory. First, though, don’t you have some complex thesis statements to revise? GET OFF THE INTERWEBS AND BACK TO WORK!

Comparing political bloggery to racist rants or teachers belittling their students on social media is too far out there to merit response. As to the guy in Georgia they say was fired for posting a political cartoon on Facebook, well… that’s just stupid even if it’s true. In fact, the whole piece goes downhill at that point – if such a thing is possible.

So yes, I sometimes get tired of the inanity. I’m tired of people with power and a voice hurting my kids. I’m tired of #edreform that hurts my kids, and Voucher schemes that hurt my kids, and fiscal abuses and $%#& excuses that hurt my kids, and ideologues and demagogues who are convinced the only way to help their kids is to hurt my kids.

So I stomp my little feet and use my little poo-poo words and crack my stupid jokes. To say we’re ruining the conversation because we’re ranting and stomping is deflection by logical fallacy: If you keep {EFFECT}ing, it will {INITIAL CAUSE}.

Change the subject all you like. Wave your little wands and shout your little fears and angers hoping no one will notice the content. It’s a tired game, but damned effective ’round these parts – unfortunately – so live it up.

You are, however, strongly encouraged to apply your labia firmly to my posterior at your convenience. I hope that’s civil enough as to not blur the issue.

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